Chapter Twenty-One

Paula shoved aside two beer bottles and an ashtray full of cigarette butts, then rested her elbows on the table and dropped her head to her hands, feeling as if her entire world had just collapsed. She couldn’t believe Steve had committed that crime, then let Renee take the fall for it. After what he’d done, she was glad he was going to jail. She was glad he was finally out of their lives.

Their lives?

Hers and Tom’s.

Only there wasn’t the two of them anymore. How could there be when he was more of a woman right then than she was?

“Paula?”

She turned to see Tom standing behind her, minus his dark wig. But he still wore the dress, the makeup, the false nails—

“Don’t, Tom. I can’t handle this. Please go away. Please!”

He pulled out a chair and sat beside her. “I’m not going anywhere. Not until you listen to me.”

“I don’t understand any of this! How can you—”

“It’s complicated. And it’d be impossible to explain in just a few minutes, so I’m not even going to try. I just want you to know two things. This does not mean I’m gay, and—”

“You’re wearing a dress!”

“I know. Not everybody who does this is gay. It’s still me under here. The same me you’ve always known.”

She gave him a sidelong glance, then turned away again. She couldn’t deal with this. She just couldn’t.

“Don’t you want to know the other thing?” he said.

“What?”

“I love you.”

She closed her eyes, feeling the tears coming. Damn it. She was not going to cry.

“With other women this wasn’t an issue—I never got close enough to them that I thought I’d ever have to tell them. And then you came along. I’ve dated a lot of women. But you…” He paused, shaking his head. “I know you think you’re plain and all that nonsense, and sometimes you wonder why you’re the one I want, but the truth is that I’ve always been afraid that I’m the one who’s not good enough for you.”

And then she really did cry, tears pouring down her face, and she felt so dumb sitting there in that weird, weird place, crying her eyes out. Tom put his arm around her shoulders. If she kept her eyes closed, she could almost believe that he was the Tom she knew so well. The one who looked like a man.

“Do you remember what you told me?” Tom said. “That there was nothing I could do that would make you stop loving me?”

Of course she remembered. Every word. But how was she to know he meant something like this?

Still, when she looked at him now, his beautiful green eyes stared back at her the same way they always had—with complete and total adoration. Was he still there? Underneath the false eyelashes and the too-bright lipstick, was he still the man she loved?

“I’m not asking you to say yes or no right now,” Tom said. “I know we have a lot of talking to do. I’m just asking you to keep the door open.”

She looked at him plaintively. “Are you sure you’re not gay?”

“Remember the last time we made love?”

“Yes?”

“Now ask me that question again.”

She couldn’t help smiling a little. Good point.

“So all this time Steve knew about this?”

“Yes. When we roomed together, he found my stuff one day. He said he’d never tell anyone, but I could never be sure.”

Tom sighed. “Every time I’d get a little money together, thinking I could start to pay you back what I owe you, Steve would get in hot water with his bookie and hit me up. He never said it directly, but I was always afraid that if I didn’t do whatever he wanted me to, he’d tell you about…this.”

Paula couldn’t believe it. Steve had been holding this over Tom’s head? Was that why Tom had tolerated his cousin, and his cousin’s nasty girlfriend? Because he was afraid of his secret being revealed?

“Steve did a terrible thing to Renee,” Tom said. “And I’m going to do everything I can to make sure he pays for it. I knew he’d been into my things that weekend the robbery occurred. Stuff was moved around. He denied it, but he was the only one who knew about me, and he’d been there that night. I had no idea his messing with my stuff had anything to do with the robbery, though, or I’d have told the police right away. Even if it meant the world knowing about me. I wouldn’t have let Renee take the fall, Paula. You’ve got to believe that.”

“Of course I believe that,” she said. “So you’re going to tell the police what you know?”

“Yes.” Tom’s expression grew grim. “Steve has always had a rotten streak, from the time we were kids. I held out hope that maybe he’d change, but obviously he never did. It was such a good thing when he started dating Renee. I thought finally he’d found somebody nice. And then he went and screwed that up, too.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me what was going on?”

“And risk losing you? How could I?”

Paula closed her eyes, feeling those tears coming again. “I love you, Tom. I think I always will. But I’m not completely sure I can get over this.”

He brushed a lock of dark hair away from her forehead, then slid his hand down her arm and took her hand in his. “I know. Just promise me you’ll try.”

She nodded, then managed a tiny smile. He smiled back, taking that little bit she gave him and not asking for more. But even as she expressed her concerns, she knew the truth. She couldn’t imagine spending the rest of her life without him.

So he had one little flaw. She’d once dated an IRS auditor who never used deodorant and believed he was abducted by aliens every Halloween. This was a definite step up from that, wasn’t it?

“I love ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow,’” she told him. “Why haven’t you ever sung it for me?”

“I will. Every day from now on, if you want me to.”

This was all very strange, and more than she could absorb all at once, but he was still Tom, and she still loved him. She didn’t know how, but she had the feeling that sooner or later everything was going to work out all right.

When Renee glanced toward the door of the club and finally saw John coming back in, her heart fluttered wildly. She took a deep, calming breath, reminding herself that just because he was there now didn’t mean everything was all right between them.

He made his way through the crowd that remained and sat on a stool next to her. She sensed he wanted to be closer to her, to touch her, but she turned away and stared down at the bar.

“Steve’s on his way to the station,” John said. “I talked to the detective on the case. He’s going to meet me there in an hour to get a formal confession.”

“What if he changes his mind about confessing?”

“The clothes he wore in the robbery can be used as evidence. Hair samples in the wig, that kind of thing. We can prove he wore the clothes, that he was coming out of Tom’s apartment that night, and that he had strong motive to commit the robbery. Gunpowder residue on the gloves will prove whoever wore them fired a gun. Considering what we know now, the D.A. will forget about you and go after Steve. But it won’t come to that. I’m betting he’ll confess. Then the charges against you will be dropped.”

“It’s over, then?”

“Not officially, but I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

Renee nodded, emotions tugging at her from all sides, the most overwhelming of which was relief that it was over and she was free again. She knew she should feel happiness, too, because John was here, because he’d come to help her. But something still nagged at her that she just couldn’t ignore.

John stared at her, his face full of concern. “How about you? How are you doing?”

“I’m fine. A little tired.”

There was a long silence between them. Finally he turned her around on the barstool until she was facing him. “Renee? What’s wrong?”

Didn’t he know? Did he think he could just walk back in there after what happened last night and everything was going to be fine?

“After the number Alex did on you last night,” she told him, “my first thought when I saw you here tonight was that you were going to arrest me.”

“What?” He shook his head. “I told you I’d never take you to jail, and I meant it!”

“Before last night, you told me you’d do everything you could to help me, too. But you didn’t mean that, did you?”

He closed his eyes. “Renee—”

She felt the tears coming, and she was not going to give in to them. “You have no idea how it felt to have you turn on me the minute your brother snapped his fingers. And then you dumped me at that motel, telling me you never wanted to hear from me again. I’m going to have a hard time forgetting that.”

He bowed his head. “I know. I’m sorry. I never should have done that.” He took her hand in his, his thumb rubbing hers in gentle, mesmerizing strokes. “But I’m here now. Doesn’t that count for something?”

She pulled her hand from his grasp. “You came here tonight only because you could do it on the sly. If you were successful, fine. If not, well, who was to know you’d even tried in the first place? But when it came to standing up to your brother face-to-face and fighting for me, you refused. So what happens the next time it comes down to me versus your job or your family?”

His eyes narrowed thoughtfully. “We need to talk. Come back to my house with me.”

“No. We have nothing else to talk about.”

“Renee, if you’ll just listen—”

“Alex already knows I have a record. Remember how big that went over? Imagine telling it to the rest of your family. I’m sure they’ll be equally thrilled.”

“I don’t care what they think.”

“On the contrary. You care very much what they think, or you wouldn’t have sent me away last night.”

“Things have changed since last night.”

“Oh, really? So you think now that you can tell your family I’m innocent, you can slip the juvenile record past them and maybe they’ll overlook it?”

“Renee—”

“Well, I’ve got news for you. None of them are going to overlook anything. Alex is going to think I’m a criminal until the day I die. And what about Dave? How’s he going to feel about having an ex-juvenile delinquent hanging around? Oh, hell, what am I saying? What about Brenda? If I show up at a family lunch, she’s liable to haul along an automatic weapon and blow my brains—”

“Renee!” John shouted. “Will you shut up for a minute?”

She glared at him.

“You’re coming home with me.”

“I don’t think so.”

“I’m not asking. I’m telling.”

“Oh, really?”

“Really.”

Before she knew what was happening, he’d stood up, grabbed her arm, and hoisted her over his shoulder. A few seconds of sheer astonishment gave way to a surge of anger. She kicked and screamed, but he held on, his arm wrapped snugly around her thighs. He walked her through the club, past the prying eyes of every cross-dresser in town, giving them an unobstructed view right up her micro-miniskirt. He hauled her out the front door and strode down the street, then deposited her by the passenger door of his Explorer. He unlocked the door and yanked it open.

“Get in.”

“Forget it.”

“Renee—”

“I said no!”

He took a step toward her, backing her against the car, then took her face in his hands and slammed his mouth down on hers.

It happened so quickly that Renee didn’t even get a chance to take a breath. She’d thought about him kissing her again a hundred times since last night, just like this, hot and hard, his hands taking command of her body while his mouth devoured hers. The jolt of ecstasy she felt as fantasy became reality was almost too powerful to bear. She knew she should yank herself away and ask him how he dared kiss her after everything that had happened. She couldn’t let him get away with sweet-talking her, sweet-kissing her, because she knew she could never trust him when the chips were down.

Then she realized, as her brain started to feel woozy from lack of oxygen, that she really had no choice in the matter. He was going to kiss her until he decided to stop or she died of asphyxiation, whichever came first. Soon any inclination she’d had to fight him melted right out of her, and all she could do was let the feeling overtake her and hope she survived the experience.

Finally he pulled away, his breath still burning her lips. She took a huge, gasping breath, teetering on her high heels, her brain so fuzzy that she thought she just might pass out.

“Get in the car.”

Still a little woozy, she plopped herself down in the passenger seat and he closed the door behind her. He climbed into the driver’s seat and started the car, yanking it sharply into gear and heading for his house. He pushed the limit all the way home, saying nothing, just staring straight ahead with a man-on-a-mission expression that made her very, very nervous.

Then all at once she had a flashback to the time he’d first dragged her to his house instead of to the police station. He’d led her through the kitchen, into his bedroom, and then… Oh, no. Surely he wasn’t thinking of that. Was he?

“John?” she said weakly, knowing he was a whole lot stronger than she was, and if he chose to do this, she’d never be able to stop him. “Where are your handcuffs?”

He turned to her with a small, wicked smile. “You’ll see.”

Renee looked at him with a mixture of disbelief and dread. Was she destined to live out the rest of her life handcuffed to this man’s bed?

He pulled into his garage, then dropped the automatic door behind them. He escorted her into the house, much as he had that first night, only this time, the moment they hit the door she heard shouting coming from one of the bedrooms. A lot of very angry shouting laced with profanity that just about peeled the paint off the walls.

She looked at John quizzically.

“Alex paid me a visit tonight, just like he promised.”

More shouting. More creative profanity in strange and startling combinations. More threats of extreme physical violence, all of them against John.

What was going on there?

Renee moved quietly down the hall toward John’s spare bedroom. When she turned the corner, she couldn’t believe what she saw.

Alex was handcuffed to John’s weight bench.

She blinked, thinking maybe she was seeing things. But there he was, his face all red with anger, looking like a bull ready to charge. Fortunately, he could charge only as far as the handcuffs would allow.

“He was going to stop me from going to the club tonight,” John said, coming up beside Renee at the door. “So I persuaded him to allow me to go after all.”

“Persuaded, my ass,” Alex muttered. “Of all the low-down, rotten things to do to your own brother—”

Renee stared at Alex in dumb disbelief. The implication of what John had done came to her in small bits, until finally she realized the truth: he’d put his neck on the line with his brother, his family, his job. For her.

She stood there, staring at Alex, feeling like the biggest fool alive. After everything she’d said to John at the club about not standing up to his brother, what was she supposed to say now?

She put her hand to her forehead, overcome by the feeling of her own stupid misconceptions flying right out of her brain. If only John had explained. If he’d just explained all this to her, then maybe she wouldn’t have prattled on, saying all those rotten things to him. But then again, she hadn’t given him much of a chance to explain, had she?

“What’s going on here?” Alex said.

“Renee is innocent,” John told him. “We found the guy who robbed that convenience store.”

Alex looked back and forth between them. “No way.”

“He’s in jail right now.”

“So she really didn’t do it?”

“Nope.”

Alex looked all red and flustered, as if he didn’t quite know how to respond to that. “Well, you were still wrong last night. You should have taken her in. And you sure as hell shouldn’t have done this. Now get these cuffs off me!”

John let out a reluctant sigh. “I guess I can’t leave him locked up forever,” he told Renee, extracting the key from his pocket. “Get ready to call 911.”

He unlocked the cuff. The moment it fell away, Alex whipped around, coming to his feet as if they still had a score to settle. Renee wedged herself between them.

“Stop!”

Her top-of-her-lungs command halted Alex in his tracks, his eyes flying open with surprise. “Wait just a—”

“No, you wait,” Renee said, jabbing her finger at his chest. “You’re not going to lay one finger on him!”

Alex stared at her, dumbfounded.

“Now, listen up. You may be twice my size, but if you so much as touch him, I’ll make you sorry you were ever born. I’ll find ways to torment you that you can’t even imagine. I’ll make your life miserable. Death will seem like a relief after what I’m going to do if you touch one hair on his head. Do you understand?”

Alex leaned away from her slightly, a look of utter astonishment on his face. He turned his gaze to John, then back to Renee. Finally he rubbed his wrist and let out a breath of disgusted resignation.

“Jesus, John,” he muttered. “She’s as insane as you are.”

John glanced back at Renee, who was still huffing from her attack on Alex. That microscopic red dress made her look like a little blonde devil who’d risen up from the underworld to give his brother holy hell. She was actually an angel in disguise, but it was going to take Alex a while to figure that out.

“We can consider this matter closed, then,” Renee said, her angry gaze still boring into Alex. “Is that correct?”

“Oh, all right,” he muttered, then glared at John. “But I swear to God, if you tell a solitary soul what happened here tonight, nothing will be able to save your ass. Not even your crazy girlfriend.”

John smiled. “I wouldn’t think of it.”

“Yeah, I’ll just bet you wouldn’t.” He started toward the door, shooting them both nasty looks. “I’ve had to pee for the last hour. If you’ll excuse me?”

He left the room, and John turned slowly to face Renee. “Does this mean I’m forgiven for last night?”

She walked over and slid into his arms, and John felt such an outpouring of relief that he could barely contain it. He held her so tightly he was almost afraid of hurting her, but when he thought about how close he’d come to losing her, anything less just wasn’t enough. He couldn’t believe they’d actually found the person who committed that robbery. He couldn’t believe she was back here with him again.

He couldn’t believe she’d stopped Alex from murdering him. “Thanks for sticking up for me, sweetheart. If you hadn’t, you just might be taking me to the hospital right about now.”

“Nah. He’s not so tough.”

No, he’s not. Not compared to you.

After what she’d been through in the past several days, still she managed to go to that club to try to prove her innocence, and he felt nothing but shame that he hadn’t stood by her. That was a mistake he intended never to make again.

John heard the bathroom door open, and then Alex stomping down the hall toward the living room. The front door opened, then slammed so hard the pictures rattled on the walls.

“I guess he’s still a little mad, huh?” Renee said.

“He’ll get over it.” John took Renee’s face in his hands and kissed her gently. “I need to go to the station. Make sure we get that confession out of Steve. You’ll stay right here until I get back, won’t you?”

She leaned close and whispered in his ear that yes, she would, and precisely where in his house she’d be, and that it had just become and would forever remain a no-handcuff zone.

When John returned home an hour and a half later, he found Renee asleep in his bed. That hot little red dress was tossed on his dresser, along with those pink undies of hers, and the purple hat was in the trash can. He sat down on the bed beside her. She stirred and turned over, and that was when he realized that she hadn’t bothered to put on one of his shirts. She hadn’t bothered to put on anything.

A very nice surprise.

He touched her shoulder, and her eyes blinked open. She smiled up at him.

“Everything’s okay, sweetheart,” he said, brushing a strand of blonde hair away from her cheek. “Steve confessed.”

“He did?”

“Yeah. He wasn’t too sure he wanted to, but then Tom came down to the station and added a little extra persuasion. You’re off the hook.”

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, her body going limp with relief.

“I owe my life to you,” she whispered.

He felt a shiver when she said that, thinking about how anything in the past few days could have taken a wrong turn and maybe they wouldn’t have discovered the truth. Renee might have run so far that he never would have found her, or she’d have eventually gotten caught and he’d have had to live with the knowledge that she was inside prison walls and he hadn’t been able to do anything to stop it.

“Come on, sweetheart. You were the one who took out a rabid bounty hunter and extracted a confession from an armed robber. You didn’t need me.”

“Yes, I did. I needed a man who couldn’t take me to jail when he knew I was innocent, no matter what the rest of the world said.” She laid her palm against his cheek. “I love you, John. I know that’s hard to believe after so short a time, but I do.”

He didn’t realize until this moment how desperately he’d wanted to hear her say that. But still he felt uneasy. “Are you sure it isn’t just gratitude?”

He’d asked her that once before, when they were on the verge of making love for the first time, and that same doubt was creeping in again. He was afraid to ask the question. Afraid to find out it wasn’t really love on her part, because he’d fallen so hard for her that if she didn’t feel the same, he wasn’t sure he’d ever pick himself back up again.

“No,” she whispered. “It’s not just because of what you did. It’s because of who you are. It’s because you were willing to risk everything that’s important to you. For me.” She lay back against the pillow, smiling sleepily. “Now, will you please take off your clothes and come to bed?”

She didn’t have to ask twice.