Chapter 70 She finally decides

Chapter 70 She finally decides
Alan's POV

"Can we talk?" She asked, and I closed my eyes for a second. 

I was waiting for this moment, wanting to know why she was here, but I feared hearing the same words again. 

"I don't think there's anything left to talk about." The words came out quieter than I'd intended.

I still didn't turn, but she made me, holding my wrist. "Please."

Our eyes met, and for a while, we stared at each other. 

"You already made your decision, Mils." I said.  

"I know."

"You asked me to forget."

"I know."

"You told me we couldn't be together."

"I know."

Each answer grew weaker as my chest grew heavier. "Then what's left to say, Mils?"

"Everything, Alan." A tear slipped down her cheek.

She wiped it away impatiently, as if she was angry at herself for crying.

She took one hesitant step toward me. "You have no idea what these two days were like?"

"I kept looking for you everywhere—Class, your department, parking lot, basketball court. 

"I haven't left a single corner." 

"I kept checking my phone. Even after knowing there wouldn't be a message." Her voice cracked.

"I still checked. Every few minutes. Again and again and again." 

"I couldn’t sleep. I could barely eat. I couldn’t focus on anything."

"I went crazy, Alan." Her voice finally broke. "I went crazy without you." 

Silence settled between us.

I stared at the girl standing in front of me.

The same girl who had broken my heart.

The same girl who then traveled two hours alone to find me.

I stepped closer. "So..." My voice was almost a whisper.

"Are we finally done pretending?"

She looked at me, confused.

"Pretending nothing happened."

"Pretending you don't love me."

"Pretending I don't love you."

Fresh tears spilled over. She didn't bother wiping them away this time.

"I hated you."

I frowned.

"I hated you for disappearing."

"I hated you for switching your phone off."

"I hated you so much…."

"...because I missed you so much, even while I was trying my hardest not to."

And that was it. Every wall I'd built over the last two days collapsed.

I closed the distance between us and pulled her into my arms.

She immediately melted against me, moved in tighter, desperately as if she'd been waiting for this hug just as much as I had.

"I missed you," she whispered against my chest. "And I don't want to pretend anymore."

I closed my eyes.

God! I'd missed this. Missed her. Missed us.

I tightened my arms around her. "Tell me you won't change your mind."

She shook her head against my chest. "Never."

I gently pulled back just enough to look into her eyes. "Promise?"

She held my gaze without flinching. "I promise."

The smile spreading across my face felt impossible to stop.

"You know..."

"...you're officially the craziest girl I've ever met."

She blinked innocently. "Why?"

"You skipped college."

"You traveled two hours by yourself."

"You nearly gave your mother a heart attack."

"And then you showed up at my grandparents' house unannounced."

I shook my head, laughing softly. "That's insane."

A slow grin spread across her face. "And yet..."

"...you fell in love with me."

"I did."

"My biggest weakness is apparently crazy girls."

Her cheeks turned pink.

"The way you blush..." I smiled.'

"...is also one of my weaknesses."

"Shut up."

She smacked my arm before looking away.

"And this, too."

"What?"

"The way you get shy."

"Really?" She looked back at me with narrowed eyes.

Before I could answer, she deliberately stepped on my foot. "This too?" 

"Ow!" I stared at her. "Milie!"

She burst into laughter. "Serves you right."

"What did I even do?"

"You were flirting unnecessarily."

She poked my chest and tried pushing me toward the hallway.

I caught her wrist before she could close the door. "You think I'm pretending?"

"No." She smiled. "I think you're making me blush on purpose."

"I absolutely am."

I gently pulled her closer again. "Look at me."

Slowly, hesitantly, but she did. 

I tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear before letting my fingers softly trace her cheek.

Her breathing grew uneven, and so mine. 

I was losing my control. I drew her face closer, our eyes drifting to each other's lips. 

"God… I want to kiss her, so does she. I want to compensate for every tear she'd cried over the last two days."

"But not like this, not while guilt still lingered between us, not until she is completely free."

I kept a tight rein on myself and rested my forehead against hers instead.

"Mils..."

"Hmm?"

"I need to ask you something."

She nodded. 

"Have you talked to Daxton?"

The happiness in her eyes faded almost instantly.

"No."

"You haven't?"

She slowly shook her head.

"I couldn't."

I looked away for a moment.

"I don't want this to begin with lies, Mils."

"It won't." She answered without hesitation. "I'll tell him."

"I just don't know how."

"He doesn't deserve this."

"I know."

"He'll hate me."

I gently squeezed her hand. "No. He'll be hurt… probably more than we imagine."

She closed her eyes. "I know. I've thought about him every minute since I left."

She exhaled, exhausted. "He called. He texted. I couldn't gather courage to answer."

"I only sent him one message."

"What did you say?"

"I'll call you tomorrow."

Silence settled between us again.

"I don't want to steal you from anyone, Mils."

She immediately shook her head. "I'm not someone to be stolen."

She again clung to me tightly. "I choose you."

"I just… need the courage to tell him."

I smiled softly. "Then we'll wait."

She frowned, pulling away. 

"What?"

"We'll wait."

"I'm not going anywhere. When you're ready… we'll face it together."

She stared at me for a long moment before suddenly throwing her arms around my neck.

"Thank you." She kissed my cheek, then the other one.

"I guess coming here wasn't such a bad decision after all."

I laughed.

"No. It definitely wasn't."

She smiled for another second before her expression turned curious.

"Now, my turn."

"What?"

"Why did you never tell me about your grandparents?"

My smile disappeared. I looked away. 

She gently cupped my face and turned it back toward her. "Now you look at me."

"You don't have to tell me, not until you are ready."

I looked into her eyes. I trusted her completely, and I felt I was finally ready to talk about it.  

"How about this?" I cleared my throat.

"You change into Grandma's pajamas. I'll make you some chamomile tea."

"And..." I smiled faintly. "I'll tell you everything."

She returned the smile. "That sounds like a plan."

I brushed my thumb across her cheek one last time and kissed her forehead before walking out of the room.

For the first time in years, I was finally ready to release myself from this pain. 

A few minutes later, I knocked gently. 

The door opened, and she stood there wearing Grandma's oversized pajamas.

The sleeves covered half her hands. The pants were rolled up twice at the ankles.

I couldn't stop smiling. She covered her face. "Ahh… don’t laugh." 

"You look adorable."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm literally drowning in these. Adorable?"

"Yeah, somehow, it still looks good on you."

She laughed, taking the mug of chamomile tea from my hand. "Hopeless flirt."

"Come on."

"Fine." 

We laughed, and together, walked toward the old window seat overlooking the backyard.

The night had grown quiet.

She curled up beside me, a warm mug between her hands.

I wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and she rested her head against me.

"So..." She took a sip of her tea. "Tell me everything about Alan I don't know."