Chapter 69 The Cost of Him
❀ Maeve ❀
Nikolai bristled by my side, his body shot with barely restrained fury.
“You must ache for death.”
“Don’t we all,” Lilith drawled. “The regent demands the audience of the stray—”
“She is weak. When she recovers, I’ll bring her myself. Relay that.”
“I’m not your fucking messenger.”
“Then leave,” Nikolai snapped.
Lilith gave him a blank look, but I could tell much warred under the surface. Perched on the very railing of the balcony, the wind ruffled the high slits of her green silk dress, exposing a smooth expanse of legs.
I remained seated only because I knew I was still weak. I couldn’t enact my revenge… yet.
Then she slid her gaze to me, voice deceptively sweet. “How’re you finding your stay so far?”
“Started on a hitch, but I plan to enjoy it before I leave,” I said evenly.
“Oh, wolf, you’ll never leave this place.” Her voice tinkled with mirth. “And I’m totally fine with that.”
She stepped backward off the railing and fell into the night.
My chest tightened.
She’d sounded so sure I’d die here, preferably by her hands. And it wouldn’t be a direct attack, but a snare. A trap. An orchestrated accident.
“Why can’t you defend me against her?”
“Rest assured, I will.” He sounded cold.
“Could you kill her?”
“Yes. The only thing standing in my way is—”
“Drusilla,” I finished for him.
He didn’t respond. But he didn’t relax, either, and that unresolved anger thrummed through him, vibrating against my side.
All of it was inconsequential. He couldn’t protect me in the real sense of the word. Couldn’t risk fallout with Drusilla.
I’d always known I was on my own, but the confirmation scared me. A little.
My flesh and muscle had filled out enough to cover my bones, but I still had a long way to go in recovery.
In the meantime, I would go along with Nikolai’s plans, stay by his side, and hope Lilith wouldn’t be brazen enough to attack me in his presence.
It also wouldn’t hurt to scope the place.
“You said you had a home of your own.”
He turned to me, long dark curls brushing his face. “Yes. This is just my chamber in the Crimson Keep. I own an estate not far along this mountain stretch.”
I nodded solemnly. “When will you take me?”
Maybe I’d spy one of those cave entrances and run away.
“In just a day. It’s undergoing upgrades for your comfort.” His eyes shone with pride.
“Y-you’re revamping your house for me?”
I didn’t know whether to be impressed, flattered, or irritated. He’d made plans for me despite the fact that I’d told him I didn’t want to be here.
But demanding my freedom, or fighting for it, wouldn’t get me anywhere. At least not yet.
He nodded enthusiastically, brimming with something but managing to hold it back. “I have a surprise for you. You’ll see it when we go tomorrow.”
I did like surprises.
Sighing, I relaxed into his side, staring at the stars.
“You should sleep, to hasten your healing,” his voice rumbled.
“I’ve slept enough in the past month.”
He tensed, guilt flashing through him. I hadn’t meant it as snark, it was simply a fact. I even dreaded closing my eyes, in case this all turned out to be a dream and I was still locked away with no food. No him.
“What about Graves?” I murmured. “We never found him. He’s still out there, turning innocents—”
Wait. Tammy.
I shuffled upright, turning wide eyes on Nikolai.
What if Lilith had locked up Tammy like she had me?
“Where’s Tammy?” My voice shook.
Please be okay. Please be okay.
Nikolai’s gaze shuttered, but he spoke. “She lives… but she’s feral. She hasn’t been able to overcome her hunger, so she’s still in training.”
My heart sank. I pulled the covers tighter.
“What does the training entail? Did you check her yourself?”
“I did. It’s standard procedure. She’s fed only enough to keep her alive and trained to control her bloodlust enough to regain her own consciousness. She’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”
“But a month? Isn’t that too long to be feral?”
“No. The longest I’ve seen was a year.”
I shivered, praying to all the gods it wouldn’t take her that long. She’d coveted power and security, she’d gotten it. Now she only had to survive this phase.
“I want to see her—”
“No. I won’t allow it. You wouldn’t want to see her that way.”
I stiffened, offense flaring at his tone.
“It’s something I want. Will you deny me this too? The freedom to see a friend?” I said through clenched teeth.
“My only desire is to protect you, whether you understand it or not. Veilmoor is dangerous, especially for a young wolf.”
He started running his fingers through my hair. I allowed it, but still challenged.
“I can’t be the only wolf in this entire kingdom.”
“You’re not,” he agreed.
“Then what’s the problem?”
He let the silence stretch until I shifted uncomfortably.
“All other wolves are in the dungeons. Or feral fodder.”
Ice washed down my spine.
If Nikolai couldn’t defend me from Lilith and Drusilla, what was to stop them from throwing me into one of those dungeons?
Nikolai had refused to take me to Drusilla, and at the time I’d thought it was because he cared.
What if he was also wary of the possibility of my imprisonment?
The image of damp, dark cells and food deprivation made me whimper.
My claws dug into Nikolai’s arm.
“Milaya, are you alright?”
I wanted to scream ‘of course I’m not alright.’
But my lips trembled, refusing to form words.
A cold sweat broke over my body.
His frantic attentions were the last thing I felt before the darkness closed in.