Chapter 51 Sate Him
❀ Maeve ❀
Being in his arms felt so right, the kiss he pressed to my head so necessary. I tightened my arms around him tight enough to maim.
“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” I mumbled into his chest.
His arms caressed my back, my nape, as desperately as I felt in that moment.
“I need you. More than I ever admitted.” His voice grated, thick and heavy.
I pulled back to look at his face. Had I ever seen him so pale? The red of his eyes had dulled. His cheeks sunken, lips blue and chapped.
A gasp tore from me.
“Nikolai!” He’d told me he could never drink from another. “When was the last time you fed?”
I hadn’t imagined the faint sway of his body against mine when we hugged.
“Since you,” he said with a wince. “But it doesn't matter. You summoned yesterday, but I couldn’t manage to trace. Are you well?”
“Am I well?!” I cried, my chest stinging. “You really meant it when you said you can’t feed from anyone else? E-even… animals?” The last word was a whisper.
“I can. It sickens me. Thought I could preserve the taste of you for longer. Didn’t want to taint it… your memory.”
Memory. I didn’t want to become a memory.
“Can you trace now? Take me to your lair. I can’t bear to see you like this.” My voice broke.
Imagining the risk he’d put himself in made my eyes water. He’d have been weak and hungry, yet still hunting Graves.
I had an idea how badly he wanted to find and end the mortal. If only to gain freedom from Drusilla. To live his own life on his own terms without an obligation hanging over his head.
Before my eyes, his form flickered. His brows drew together with effort.
He grew almost transparent—I could see the flowers and wall behind him—then he jerked back into form.
“Stop, stop…” I grasped his arms, patting them down. He sagged against me.
I took a quick look back at the door, biting my lip.
Apart from the night of the ceremony when the matrons had used the greenhouse, I was sure no one else came here.
Why the impressive structure had been abandoned to nature confounded me.
I’d have to feed Nikolai here.
I turned back to face him—his gaze was locked on my neck.
His tongue darted to lick his lips.
“Oh Niko…” I pushed him back until his spine hit the wall. Already his arms clutched my shoulders, eyes locked on my pulse point. I shivered. “Sit…”
Coaxing him until he sank to his knees, I followed, straddling him.
Without hesitation, I swung my hair back, tilting my head.
“Are… you sure?” he rasped.
In his condition, I was surprised he hadn’t already fallen upon me. His hands shook with tension.
I sighed, grabbed his nape, and forced his face against my neck.
Shaking, he nuzzled, “Nastoyashchiy ray…”
My spine tingled when he followed that ragged whisper with a harsh lick on my throat. My body puddled when two hot fangs sank into flesh.
Threading my fingers in his soft curls, I moaned, content. My lids grew heavy as he sucked, drawing deeply and desperate.
His chest vibrated against mine. He groaned and suckled with abandon, growing hard beneath me.
My face flushed.
Then I began to register the chill in the air, the soft transition from sunset to twilight. Time slowed as the first silver rays of moonlight peeked through, bathing the greenhouse in a wash of color only possible by night.
Against me, Nikolai’s body warmed. I realized just how cold he’d been before he fed.
His sucking had slowed, but his arms remained tight around me like he’d never let me go. His fangs retracted, but he kept his lips suctioned around the wound.
Tongue flicking lazily, he languidly fed, softly groaning with pleasure.
He’d stayed away for days despite needing me… all because I made him think I’d chosen Bastian over him.
My fists clenched.
My vampire could survive days without needing to feed. But I wanted to feed him every day, anemia be damned. I’d just increase my food and bloodmeal intake to accommodate his needs.
But would we have to sneak around forever?
He rubbed the side of his face against mine, purring.
My arm dropped from his hair to his shoulder. My lips curved as I registered how healing my blood had been for him.
His muscles had swollen, body feeling bigger and stronger around me.
“Nastoyashchiy ray…” and there it was, that honeyed voice I loved so much.
“What does that mean?” I whispered.
He drew back, turning my face with his fingers, and pressed a kiss to my lips. “Sheer heaven.”
His eyes shone. Lips blood-red inside and out. Those lips curled just slightly at the corners.
“I thought I’d lost you.” I choked out.
“So did I. But I could never stay away. I would’ve found you anywhere.”
I bit the inside of my cheek, “Like in the cavern?”
His eyes slitted, then he croaked, “Like in the cavern.”
“I thought the fortress was mystically fortified against tracing?” To keep murderous vampires out.
“I followed your desire. Thought I’d walk in on you needing me…”
His voice had darkened, so I changed the subject. “So you had no idea where you’d turn up?”
“No. I can find you anywhere. Our connection wills it so.”
“Oh.”
In the silence, he watched me until I blushed hotly. It was a wonder I had any blood left to blush. My head was heavy, the cold more intense.
Then I remembered the mission.
My mother. Tammy. Graves.
“Are you getting closer to finding Graves?”
His fists tightened behind me. “I’ve been out of sorts for days. Starved. So no…”
An opening.
“What if I told you I had a… promising lead?”
He raised a brow, “Your tone suggests you won’t be handing it over easily.”
“I won’t. You already know what I want in exchange.”
His beautiful moonlit face morphed into a sneer. “You’d have me rescind my vow to kill your… wolf?”
Guilt washed over me.
I hadn’t even thought of that. I gave myself an internal shake. Bastian could handle himself.
“Not that,” I said. Nikolai visibly relaxed. “I’m giving you a mission of my own.”
He pinned me with a patronizing gaze. “Is that so?”
“You’ll find my mother and bring her to me. I have a living, breathing witness of one of Maverick Graves’ cave networks.”
He leaned back, broad shoulders against the wall. “Your mother is safe.”
I hissed.
My claws shot right out, stomach twisting with rage.
He had the audacity to smile, fangs flashing.
“I knew how worried you were.” He drawled, “I already investigated, I know where she is. I could trace you there right now.”
I swooned, knees weak, heart hammering.
Totally undone by him and the weight of what he’d just revealed.