Chapter 39 Loyalty. Blood.
❀ Maeve ❀
In a moment of raw emotion, I almost told him I’d been referring to Nikolai who’d watched my mother get taken away but did nothing.
Nikolai had also assumed she was ‘safe’, just as Bastian was doing right now.
I took a deep, steadying breath as I fought back a sudden wave of fatigue.
“I was talking about Ashar. He brought me here last night, and also made the same claims.” My fists trembled, my eyes hot.
‘And you can’t trust two wolves with senses stronger than yours?’ At my glare, he sighed. ‘Look, I know you’re anxious to find her, but if I don’t get back to assign more soldiers in this district, she could truly be in danger.’
There had been so many feral vampires, he had a point. “You’re certain she’s here?”
‘I am.’
“Will you send the soldiers to search for her?”
His brows furrowed. ‘With her name, and her scent, they can.’
“Fine. I have something of hers.”
The coin purse she’d given me on the night of the ceremony. More tears threatened as I remembered how she’d given me all her coin. How was she surviving without money?
I glanced around the havoc around us, bits and parts of dead vampires were strewn like a dark joke. Watching Bastian fight had been humbling, and I suddenly appreciated the fact he’d held back during training earlier—
A wave of dizziness hit me. The world spun beneath my feet.
I staggered.
Bastian caught me before I hit whichever way was ground. ‘Maeve!’
My head was heavy, lolling in different directions as I tried to steady myself, then he cradled my nape with a trembling hand.
Wheezing, I shut my eyes tightly. His bellow echoed through the link like a distant memory.
‘Talk to me!’
His scent suddenly assailed me, mouthwatering and irresistible. In the chaos of my mind, I realized—my anemia was acting up.
Through a small window of calm, I sputtered, “So… hungry. Food, bloodmeal… please…”
He muttered a curse I couldn’t make out.
My body was cooling fast, the lack of blood stiffening my limbs.
Bastian scooped me up immediately, and through the dilapidating fever, I wished I could shift and run on my own feet.
I craved the wind in my fur and the earth beneath my paws. My wolf fed me a taste of the sensations even though I hadn’t experienced them before.
Holding back tears for all the things missing in my life, I sank against his chest as he ran all the way back to IronWolf.
At the checkpoints, he didn’t even need to stop, his speed and scent no doubt announced his identity.
I groaned, my stomach rumbling relentlessly.
My senses had been rioting on the way, but now, my hearing zeroed in on his thundering heart behind my ear.
A crazy, sick idea had my fangs lenghtening.
I could just drink from him.
‘Almost there!’ He yelled through the link, rattling my brain.
Something wet dropped out the corner of my mouth, and I was mortified to discover it was drool.
Clenching my fists against the cacophony of hunger and fear in my head, I prayed to the goddess for strength.
Bastian jerked to a stop.
I blinked, and we were in our chambers. The hearth roared, tended to by servants.
Bastian laid me gently on the bed and covered me with thick spreads. When he moved away, I cried out, my own voice piercing.
“Don’t leave! Please…!”
He was already shifting back, his eyes dulling, claws retracting.
“Going to get food. I’ll be back.”
“Nooo…” I groaned, following him with my eyes until he disappeared out of sight.
My brain pulsed like a heart, my very veins contracting with thirst. I’d never had it this bad, but then, I’d never gone this long without bloodmeal.
“Mother.” I whimpered, my chest burning.
She was supposed to be here, with me, like I’d promised. She’d promised.
Then my treacherous brain pulled up a memory of Nikolai feeding me his blood after ravaging me.
I wish he were here!
Frustration threatened to break my mind as I writhed in the bed, my mouth filling with phantom liquid, my tears burning a trail down my face.
Then I paused to register a strange, new pain. My chest was literally burning.
With difficulty, I sat up, scratching at the hot bloodgem in my skin—
Bastian rushed in, hands laden with steaming bowls.
The weakness disappeared instantly.
I lurched from the bed on unsteady feet, meeting him halfway. He dropped the wooden tray to the floor to catch me.
“What are you doing! You’re not well.”
Moaning, I sank to my knees, grabbing the bowl filled with steaming blood pudding and small chunks of seasoned meat.
Bastian sat opposite me, gaze unreadable as I chugged the steaming gruel.
My eyes heavy-lidded, the thick soup ran down my throat like a river of eternal life. Only pausing to chew the meat, carnal sounds of bliss rumbled through me.
What felt like an eternity later, I belched. A long and terrible sound that had me blushing a deeper red than garnet.
Bastian just stared.
My dizziness, fever, and exhaustion vanished.
Only shame remained.
“I’m anemic,” I supplied.
The silence dragged.
Welp. I’d gone from rogue and wolfless, to wolfless but unshifting, and now barbaric and anemic. Not exactly the ideal mate.
I suspected the blank look in his eyes to mean he was seriously weighing my worth at this point. Did he think I was a burden?
Keeping my spine straight even as I trembled inside, I awaited the verdict. Could he still reject me even though I’d claimed him? Definitely.
Bastian tilted his face to the ceiling and inhaled for patience. That was a good sign, no?
“How long have you required this peculiar… nourishment?”
“As long as I can remember? It had always been routinely available…” I trailed off as my mother came to mind again.
She’d never let me miss a portion—
“I ordered the kitchen to provide it twice daily,” he rose, taking the vanquished tray with him. “Why didn’t you do that at your first chance?”
Reeling from the sight of a prince putting away dishes he’d fetched for me, I couldn’t give him an answer.
I’d been overwhelmed and unsure, forgetting a crucial weakness. Though deep down, I’d assumed and hoped that awakening my wolf would be a magical cure. No such luck.
With a measuring but tender look, he set the tray outside the room, then returned to pull me up to my feet.
A large palm cradling my head, he hugged me close to his chest.
“I prejudged before ever giving you a chance. That wasn’t fair. And I don’t want to discover things like this when you’re already down and affected.” He pulled back, hands heavy on my shoulders.
The moment felt heavy, pregnant with something I coveted but dreaded at the same time. His next words proved me right.
“We’ll start anew, no more secrets.” His throat bobbed, “Total honesty that applies both ways. It is a perilous time to not have someone to trust.”
I blinked as it hit me—I was getting a brief glimpse into his very soul. My mate secretly wanted companionship, someone in his corner, and he’d decided to give me a chance to prove myself true to him. He was choosing to trust me.
Under his unrelenting stare, I resisted the urge to shift on my feet.
“I agree,” I whispered. “We could be so much stronger together, in each other, if we put the past behind us.”
His eyes glinted with satisfaction, and relief?
That striking blue gaze brushed over me, soiled dress and all, and my skin fizzled at the attention. Did this mean he was going to mark me? I held my breath.
With obvious difficulty, he dragged his gaze to my eyes once more, gently herding me to the bathroom.
“You’ve been through a lot. We’ll wash, and rest. You will be reunited with your mother tomorrow.” He promised.
My heart thudded as I gave a tight nod.
I’d just pledged honesty to a mate I’d been lying to from the very beginning, and wasn’t planning on stopping anytime soon. Bastian would never accept the idea of me having another mate, much less a vampire. The vampire he was hunting.
I followed, stunned.
My head throbbed with plots and subplots as he eased us into the tub, beginning a relaxing ritual of washing us both.
Back in bed, he covered me up and sank in beside me, anticipation seeping through his very being. We were both naked, with him thick and hard against my back, but he made no moves.
Instead, he cradled me close, his face in my hair, fingers softly caressing my side.
I hoped to the goddess his eyes were closed, because within the confines of the bed covers, the bloodgem in my chest glowed.
Employing every atom of restraint, I stopped myself from scratching the itch.
Nikolai was calling.
And I’d just sworn loyalty to his enemy.