Chapter 28: Bad guy

Chapter 28: Bad guy
Vander 

Loraine had left after the silence of our prior conversation. I didn’t even want to think about anything she’d said. I only had enough room for one guilty emotion at a time. And the guilt I felt towards Calina honestly took the cake. After an hour or so of sitting there, just staring at her in disappointment at myself, I decided to get her into more comfortable clothing. I went home and grabbed a few of her belongings before returning to the room and asking one of the female nurses to change her clothing. Calina seemed more comfortable afterward and snuggled a little deeper into her blankets. I smiled and placed a hand against her skin.

“Alpha Vander?” It was Freya who spoke. I looked up at her and realised how tired and pale she seemed to be. She must have been engaged in many battles today and I could only assume that she was incredibly exhausted.

Freya entered the room and gazed down at Calina, a worried look on her face. I could tell Freya cared for her, which made me feel even worse. Freya liked few people and so the calibre of their character needed to be up to her high standards. I had clearly been too far-removed from everything to notice how great Calina was. Throughout all of this, she had one goal in mind- to look after her mother. And she did everything and anything to do so which had turned out to be mostly to her detriment. She deserved to complain; in fact, it worried me that she didn’t.

“Your father is asking for you,” she said, her voice soft. She reached out towards Calina and placed a finger against her hair, regret all over her face. I honestly hoped she didn’t blame herself for this.

“It’s not your fault… that she ended up this way. It’s mine. So don’t think the way you’re thinking.” I said, placing a hand against her shoulder. Freya gazed up at me and forced herself to smile and nod. “And regarding my father, I don’t think I want to see him right now.”

Freya frowned and tilted her head, “You can’t keep running away from him when things go wrong. I think you need to talk to him, especially after what happened today.”

That was when Brutis’ comment made its way into my mind again as well as the fact that my father had gone out of his way to attack Brutis. What had happened between the two of them to provoke such an intense and impulsive reaction from my father?

Did I think my father would tell me the truth? No. But it was still worth a shot. Before I made a decision, however I gazed at Calina’s sleeping body. I didn’t want to leave her here alone, especially with Loraine lurking about. And so I asked Freya to stay behind and watch over her while I went to talk to my father.

He was nearby, just down the passage from Calina. When I entered, I was surprised to see that although he was healing it was at a slow rate. He must have been severely injured.

“Oh, how the mighty have fallen,” I said mockingly as I entered the room. My father looked up at me, barely a smile on his face.

“Didn’t think you’d come at all,” he said.

I shrugged, taking a seat next to his bed. He looked so dismal this way. Weak and shrunken and small. In this moment I could feel it more prominently than I had before. The disparity in power between the both of us. It was heavy on me. A burden. Between the both of us, I’d begun to feel like the parent, constantly attempting to make up for his weakness. And so, my respect for him had dwindled with this dynamic.

“I heard Calina was turned, and what happened in Gerard’s pack happened to her. I’m glad she’s alive.” He seemed much too relieved for my liking, but I ignored it. Instead, I chose to ask him a question.

“Why did you attack Brutis?” I asked. My father hesitated and looked away from me.

“I just hate him,” is all he said, without even looking me in the eye. I could tell it was a lie and so I pushed him again, asking the exact same question, “Why did you attack Brutis, dad.”

It was at the last word that he finally looked at me. Almost as though he now remembered I was actually his son, not someone he forced to step in for him.

“I’ve always hated Brutis, even before he rose to power. He also seemed so shady and shadowy to me; always lurking in the dark, trying to attack my weaknesses… and he found it. I’d always suspected that he’d found it. But today confirmed it. It confirmed what he’d done.”

“And what did he do?” I asked, unable to decipher this riddle my father was spewing before me.

Again, he hesitated before saying, “You don’t want to open that box right now. You’re not strong enough. And after what happened today with the pack… you’re going to need to be strong.”

I was angry. But more of it was disappointment. He just couldn’t for the life of him tell me the truth and all it seemed to do was make me make more mistakes. And then there was the hurt. Hurt at his words and his lack of trust in me and my mental state after I’d done nothing but be strong on his behalf. And so, I couldn’t help but lose my cool and lash out at him.

“Strong? You think I’m not strong enough? After mom died, I’ve been nothing but strong, from the moment you started running this pack into the ground. I got the pack back to where it is now, but you’ve almost destroyed all of my hard work by attacking Brutis. And now you won’t fucking tell me anything… again?”

But my words seemed to leave him unphased. He never even softened his gaze at me. Instead, he shook his head and said, “You showed me that you lacked strength the moment you decided to let Calina go through the initiation for something that didn’t even involve her. She was never involved in your mother’s death and yet you decided to punish her for it. You behave like a child. Petty and impulsive. And then you turn around and try to shift the blame on me? Yes, I took the initiative to actively attack Brutis, but don’t you dare tell me that today wasn’t your fault.”

This was the second time today that I was rendered completely speechless. Where the truth was shoved in my face and I couldn’t admit to it. And so, I did what I’d always done. I turned around and left. But as I walked towards Calina’s room I couldn’t help but feel the tired weight of truth finally settling on my heavy shoulders. I was the bad guy.