I Love You, Disqualified I

As soon as I entered the room, accompanied by the doctor, I saw my father wrapped in a bunch of wires that controlled his every movement. I knew how much he hated that situation and the reason why he ran away: everything was repeated, it had happened before.

I walked over to the bed and took his hand, which he squeezed.

- I'm tired. - He said, eyes closed.

- So rest.

- It's complicated to know that we won't see each other again... - His eyes were still closed – I'll miss you.

- No, you won't miss it. But I'll go...

- I know I wasn't a perfect father. And for that I apologize. But understand, it was never with bad intentions. I've always loved you, as much of a motherfucker as I've been.

- I think everyone has a motherfucking phase in life. The good thing is that we may realize this one day. You did the best you could.

- Make every drop of my sweat count ... But don't put North B. above your family like I did.

- I will not do that. Do not worry.

- Now... Give me a kiss, my son. And go! I don't want you to see me die.

I held back the fucking tears that were trying to flow and felt my chest tight. We both knew this would happen and yet it felt like I wasn't prepared for this moment.

But if there was one thing I didn't do, it was challenge my father. I gave him a kiss, perhaps the first of my life, and hugged him, saying in his ear:

- Thanks for everything... Go in peace, Casavelha! I love you.

I let go of his hand and left, hands squeezing my eyes to keep from crying.

Damn, that hurt like hell! It made me want to scream and for a moment it looked like I couldn't take it.

Until I arrived at reception again, my eyes watering. And I saw her... Standing, zipping her blazer even tighter, her blonde hair falling over the fabric. I wasn't near her, but I knew exactly what the golden strands smelled like and how much I liked them wrapped around my body at night.

- Did you take the test? – I asked, forgetting everything that was left in the corridor behind.

She nodded her head, before saying:

- I did all three.

- Did you pee three times?

- Yes... A little bit at a time.

- Damn, how did you do it?

- My kidney is really in good condition. And he is worth a lot, disqualified.

- I don't want to know about your kidney, Barbara. I want to know about the test...

- It came back positive... Three times.

I was speechless, looking at her. It was as if the ground came out from under my feet for a few seconds and I was floating. My head was empty, my heart was beating double and I could hear it in the same rhythm as my brain.

- You were happy? she asked, lifting her shoulders, unsure of my answer.

- Happy? – I shook my head – There is no word for what I'm feeling right now, disqualified – I took her easily in my arms and turned her around, not controlling the merry-go-round of emotions that was going through me at that moment.

- I love you, Heitor... A lot.

- I love you, you crazy, reason for my life!

I received the news of my father's death minutes after finding out that I would be the father of a biological child. It was a mix of emotions, between the sadness of the loss, softened with the new life that arrived.

I was uncertain how to break the news to Maria Lua. What if she got upset? She never asked for a little brother.

We pulled into the show parking lot in the private wing. Anon looked as anxious as Barbara.

- Take pictures, Mrs. Bongiove. And send it to Ben or he'll have a heart attack.

- Makes me want not to send the pictures. After all, he didn't want to come along.

- The moment is yours. He didn't want to get in the way.

- I don't want to get in the way either. – I said, understanding exactly Ben's situation.

We got out of the car and headed to the VIP area, facing the stage.

- Do I have to stand? I looked around, seeing no chairs.

- Yes, my love... That's exactly why it's the VIP area. We will face him and we can dance as much as we want. Do you think he will recognize you? What if he asks me to go on stage? Did you know that he kisses the fans who go on stage?

- First, you're not going to go up there because you're pregnant. Second, if he touches you, I'll kill him.

- Ah, do not be jealous, disqualified. She teased, lacing her hands behind my neck.

- If there's one thing I can't control my jealousy for you. And I know you take advantage of it.

- I think it's cute that you feel jealous of me. In case, I don't feel for you... I know how to handle the situation well. My maturity surprises me.

I laughed:

"Damn it, I wonder how you manage to be so underhanded." He pulled Cindy's hair out... He made me pull her out of Babylon... I think I'll list your little scenes of jealousy throughout our relationship, my love.

- Stop talking... Wait... Silence... – she wrinkled her forehead – I'm listening to the baby. He told you to kiss me... On the tongue.

I don't know if there was at least one time she didn't surprise me. And that I wouldn't grant her desires, however insane they were. I immediately bent down towards her and devoured her lips, as I knew she liked, tasting her, smelling her, tasting her only way.

I couldn't stop kissing her until the show started. My idea was to tire her out, in case Jon actually called her onstage and she would be sick from kissing.

I didn't like Bon Jovi songs, but I knew them all, because Barbara listened to them over and over again. My vibe was techno.

The woman, even pregnant, jumped, screamed and didn't stop for a minute. I was afraid that she would lose our son there, in the middle of the audience that seemed to be as crazy as she was.

Yes, I supported my rival for exactly ninety minutes. And when the show ended, I still had to take her backstage, where he would receive her, by agreement between gentlemen.

- I must not be right in the head... Taking my wife to the lion's cage. - I heard myself complaining, already in the hallway.

- Do you swear? I want to be locked in the cage, love.

- With him? Can you just be crazy?

- Admit you're jealous...

- I'm dying, corroding with jealousy. – I confessed.

She smiled and touched my face affectionately. I adjusted the bandana with the name of the band on her head:

- You look beautiful! – I heard myself saying.

- No kidding. I am fat. Look at the size of my breasts.

- Perfect... - I looked at her full breasts inside the shirt... Guess whose? Bon Jovi.

As soon as we reached the end of the hall, I could see Jon's name on the white dressing room door. I recognized his assistant, who waved at me, calling in his direction:

- Casanova... What a pleasure to see you!