Chapter 28

Sophia

My thoughts were incomprehensible, uncatchable as I melted in Kieran’s arms. Everything that had happened today, everything that had happened in the last few months, everything that had happened in the last seven years... nothing really mattered.

As his warm tongue explored every curve of my mouth, gently massaging my own in a fiery dance that was sending the most pleasantly arousing currents through my entire body, the whole world ceased to exist. Time and space lost their significance completely!

There were only the two of us, Kieran and I, his arms wrapped around me like the cage I desired and my hands tangled in his soft hair, holding onto it for dear life so they wouldn’t get lost in the vast universe of woken up hunger for him.

No, nothing but us was important, and with a lot of courage, I had to admit that if it came to that, I would have a hard time letting Kieran go. I was half disgusted with myself because, after everything he did to me, I wanted him! I wanted to be near him. I wanted to be his wife in reality as I legally was.

I had no idea when this change inside me happened. But it was impossible to deny how drastically my feelings for my husband had changed.

I was perfectly aware of the fact that my desire would either kill me or give me a life I never even dared of dreaming; life with a man I could love and that could possibly love me back.

Did I dare to dream? Would I survive if that dream ended in a nightmare?

“Do you trust me?” was Kieran’s first question after he broke the kiss.

I thought about it for a moment, honestly and sincerely.

“I do,” I said softly, speaking nothing but the truth.

“Why?”

“I don’t know why. But I trust you.” Once again, it was the truth.

Kieran looked at me questioningly, like he was seeing me for the first time in his life. I stared into his eyes, trying to figure out what he was thinking about. That flash of pain ran across his face, lingering just a second longer than usual, giving me enough time to observe it.

“Who is she?” It had to be connected to Nora somehow. It had to be. “What did she do to you?”

“Who is Bill Marlow?” Kieran shot back, and all I saw was black.

No, damn it. No! Just when I thought Kieran had changed his wicked ways and was willing to make this thing between us work, he went back to being the man I hated the most.

“Stop deflecting, Kieran!” I snapped. I had enough!

“Says the deflector!” he snapped right back at me. I tried to step away from him, but he held me tight, having no intention of letting me go.

His hand found its way to my neck, but I had no fear he would do anything to harm me. I stopped fearing him a long time ago. Indeed, Kieran’s touch was as gentle as it could be, keeping alive the fire his kisses lit up. And I didn’t want it to stop. I didn’t want it to dissipate. Despite the fucked-up relationship we had, I still yearned for his caresses, so I closed my eyes and leaned into him, relishing in the closeness he offered.

But my damn mind didn’t let me enjoy the moment for too long. It made me remember a certain redhead, and I had to get a hold of the sturdy desk to seek support.

“Kieran, if that baby is yours…” I swallowed the hard lump that suddenly got stuck in my throat, and I had no chance to voice out my thoughts.

“It’s not,” Kieran growled at me, fire blazing in his eyes.

“Are you sure? Because if it is…” I tried once again to tell him I wouldn’t stand in his way, that I would deprive myself of him without a word, no matter how much it hurt if that meant I would be doing the right thing.

“I am positive.” He spoke, barely opening his mouth. “You sounded certain a moment ago when you demanded a paternity test.”

I was getting tired of his constant avoidance. I wanted him to let me in. I wanted to be there for him. I desired his trust, his heart, and his soul... all for one reason and one reason only.

“I was not sure, and I’m still not. I don’t know you at all, Kieran, and you are not letting me get to know you.” Deciding I would not give up on him, not now, I gathered all my courage and raised both my hands to cup his perfectly shaved cheeks. I locked my eyes with him, trying to show him how honest and truthful my words were.

“Kieran, I was not a willing participant in this charade of yours. I tried to run away, and all I waited for was a chance, an opening for me to get away.” He opened his mouth to say something, but I pressed my finger over his lips and shook my head, giving him a sign to listen to what I had to say. “When Nora tried to put her claim on you, I realized I didn’t want to let you go without a fight. Not to her, anyway. And not if you still want me. I want to stay and be with you. But you have to let me in, and I have to do the same in return. It will be difficult for both of us because we both have baggage from our pasts, but we can get there. We can make it work.”

I licked my dried lips with no intention of that simple movement being seductive, but Kieran’s eyes flickered downwards. His hands circled my waist, and he pulled me impossibly closer to him.

“I’m glad I hear you say that,” he surprised me with a peck on my lips. “I’m glad you’re finally accepting me as your husband.”

My chest w too tight to hold everything I felt at that moment; my heart sang, and it wanted to fly, trying to break away from its cage.

It was real. It was happening. I said yes to Kieran. I said yes to the man I could never imagine being mine.

“But Kieran, seriously, I don’t want to be the reason a child is growing up without its father…”

Despite the fact that I admitted I wanted him just for myself, I wouldn’t think twice about letting him go for the sake of an innocent child’s happiness.

“Enough,” he roared, not allowing me to say another word. “I don’t know whose that baby is, but I’m sure as hell it’s not mine. You want to know how I can be so sure?” he asked, menace coloring his voice, and I felt I wasn’t going to like what he was about to say. But still, I nodded my head in response.

“I can’t have kids, Sophia.”