Chapter 72

“What?”He sat up and removed the condom,which he tossed into the trash can with a wad of Kleenex.

“Nothing,”I lied.

He entered the bathroom and ran the faucet for a moment.When he returned,he had a wet washcloth.He cleaned me off before using it on his chest.He also wiped away all the extra lube on my ass,then tossed the washcloth toward our discarded clothes.

He lay next to me and pulled me into his arms.“Tell me why you frowned.”

“You’ll think I’m weird.”

“I already knowyou’re weird.”

I tried glaring at him,but couldn’t.He knew everything about me,so he might as well know this.“It’s embarrassing,but when you pulled out”—my face heated—”I missed having you inside.I felt empty.”I said into his chest.

He squeezed me and kissed the top of my head.“I don’t think that’s weird.”

I peeked up at him.“You don’t?”

Jeff gave me a sincere smile.“Not at all.”

His words comforted me.“When you’re inside me,it’s like you’re a part of me.You filled me up and it felt…right.”

Jeff placed a kiss on my lips.“It wasright.”

We pulled back the blankets and snuggled under the covers.We were exhausted,but happy,and spent at least another hour cuddling.We kissed and talked about nothing and everything.Our plans for the future.Our goals.No matter what,we knew we wanted to be together.

The night seemed almost magical for us and we never wanted it to end.Sleep started to overtake us and we spent the night as we always did,spooned together with his arms around me.I had a feeling that was how we’d always sleep.

The final week of school was busier than we’d thought,so Jeff and I couldn’t spend much time alone,but each night we still found our way into each other’s arms.I looked forward to it the most every day.Sometimes it felt surreal,but when I woke up in his embrace,reality always hit me.It was so much better than any dream I could conjure up.Finding the love of my life in my best friend was something I’d never planned,but fate certainly knew what it was doing.

I still hadn’t heard from the district attorney,making me think my father was being difficult,which wouldn’t surprise me.He was so full of hate,there was no way he’d do something to purposely make things easier on his kids.No,we’d be the very last on his list.If something he did actually made things better for us,it would only be secondary.I’d spent most of my life hoping for some kind of love from his scraps and it never came,so I certainly wasn’t hoping for any sort of miracle.

The Friday before graduation,my grandparents called Laura Morgan’s office to see if she had news,but they hadn’t heard anything by the next day and I was too busy running around getting ready for the evening’s event to think about it.

Jeff and I had the weekend off from the movie theater,but had put in for full-time hours for the summer.We both wanted as much money as possible when we headed out to college in August.

My grandparents and Pamela would stay the night at the Hampton Inn so we could go to my old house together the next day and discuss matters.I wasn’t looking forward to that,so I tried not dwelling on it as I got ready for graduation.

Russell Adams was throwing a huge party at his house—sans parents,apparently—and had sent an all-inclusive invite to every senior,so we planned to attend.

Meanwhile,life moved along.I had future plans.I had a boyfriend.A really hot boyfriend who couldn’t keep his hands off me,not that I complained.Life no longer scared me.I had no more secrets to keep from Jeff or anyone.My father could no longer control me with his hatred,either.No matter if he decided to take the deal or go to trial,he’d be behind bars for a long time,if not the rest of his life.

I missed my mom like crazy,though.She’d been the one person in my life who knew everything about me.She’d done her best to shield me from my father.I held on tightly to the memory of that last visit at the hospital.Learning that she’d known about my sexuality and had still loved me remained a huge comfort.

I’d been seeing Dr.Ottinger regularly and I had begun opening up to him.It had taken some time for me to trust him,even though he seemed a genuinely nice guy.He was helping me work through a lot of emotions and teaching me tools to help with the panic attacks.I’d had one just a couple days earlier,and it shocked me when his focusing technique helped.But so far,I had no breakthrough that cured me of my anxiety and panic,but he explained I should take one day at a time.I liked that he didn’t try to sugarcoat things.He was older,but seemed to get me.I planned to see him every week through the summer until I left for school in August.

My graduation gown hung on a hanger from the top of my closet door.I ran my finger down the silky black material.It wasn’t anything fancy,just a simple gown.I grabbed the square black hat with the red and white tassel and placed it on my head.I couldn’t wait to walk across the stage to accept my diploma.

“You ready?”Jeff called,his voice a little muffled.

“Yeah.Come in.”

He opened the door,his gown and hat in one hand.He grinned when he saw the mortarboard on my head.“Looks like you’re ready.”

I pulled off the cap.“Just trying it on.”

Jeff put his free hand on my shoulder.“You looked really cute.”He gave me a peck on the cheek.

Cute.I wanted to be hot.But I still felt the familiar warmth spread through my chest whenever Jeff complimented me.Sometimes it made me feel like an emotional thirteen-year-old girl,but I couldn’t deny it made me feel good.

I slid my arms around his waist.“You smell nice,”I murmured against his chest.“New cologne?”

He chuckled.“My mom gave it to me this morning.Said I needed something mature for graduation.You like it?”

I definitely enjoyed it.The musky scent mixed with a spice I couldn’t place.“Yeah.It’s masculine.”

Jeff laughed.“That’s what my mom said.And trust me,hearing my mom call me masculine about killed me.”

I smiled up at him.“Awww,her little boy is all grown up.”

His eyes flashed darker,his pupils growing.“That’s right.I’m all grown up.”He ground his hips against me and I felt his hardness.