Chapter 82 - MY REFUGE

SIENNA.

My mother barged into the library on the second floor where I was hiding, warming myself by the fireplace, wrapped in a blanket with a cup of coffee in hand. Aiden wasn’t home yet. My social media presence was dwindling. I posted only a few pieces of my work. No restorations had been made in months, and none were planned. When I ran into Aiden accusing me of stealing his artifact and served some time in prison I lost my chance. That memory brought a small smile, but it was also the moment that ruined my reputation and, with them, my opportunity to have some important people restore their art.

As my mother entered the room, her footsteps loud on the wooden floor, I looked up. She saw me snuggled in an armchair but still called my name sharply.

"Sienna? Where’s your head, Sienna?" she demanded.

Instead of avoiding her, I smiled, feeling a bit too fantastic from the caffeine in my coffee.

"I guess I should get another cup of coffee."

I knew this confrontation was inevitable. Should I bring up her odd behavior now too? Everything was already spiraling downwards. What was one more argument?

She glared at me, clearly shocked.

"Sienna, you're all over the internet and newspapers. Everyone is talking about your private moments with your husband. He's treating you so disrespectfully. Did you know about his... twisted sexual preferences before you married him?"

Legally, I did. The prenuptial agreement had detailed all of Aiden’s favorite fetishes.

"Yes," I answered.

She threw her hands up and sank into the chair next to me.

"Are you serious right now?" she asked.

I blinked and nodded.

Shaking her head, she covered her eyes with her hand. "This is unbelievable."

Annoyance bubbled within me.

"Why? Because it embarrasses you in front of your friends?"

She gave me a stern look.

"Sienna, you know that’s not true. All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy. I wanted you to fall in love with a good man."

I sighed. She had a lot of flaws, but I knew she genuinely cared about my happiness. She just didn’t get that happiness can be different for everyone. Did I finally find happiness? I wasn’t sure, to be honest. But I was really interested in this forbidden romance. I could always end it later if I wanted to. For now, I could count on Aiden. Somehow, I trusted him. It felt good to be with someone who was straightforward about what they wanted. Aiden never caught me off guard.

She continued, her voice softer now, "You can’t seriously be okay with this. It’s not healthy, Sienna. You deserve better."

"Maybe," I admitted. "But I knew what I was getting into. Aiden’s been upfront with me from the start. I respect that."

"You respect that?" she repeated, incredulous. "What about respect for yourself?"

"I have self-respect," I replied firmly. "This arrangement works for me too. Maybe not forever, but for now."

She looked at me, searching for something in my eyes.

"And your work? What about that? You used to be so passionate."

"I still am," I said quietly. "I just need time to find my inspiration again."

"And you think you’ll find it living like this?" she asked, skeptical.

"Maybe," I said. "Or maybe I’ll find something new. I don’t know. But I’m figuring it out."

She sighed, looking defeated.

"I just want you to be safe and happy."

"I know," I said, reaching out to squeeze her hand. "I appreciate that. But I need to do this my way."

We sat in silence for a while, the tension slowly easing. Finally, she stood up, giving me a resigned look.

"Just promise me you’ll be careful”

"I will be carefull" I assured her.

“ All I wanted for you was to just fall in love with a good man," she said again.

There were only small imperfections he showed me, sometimes unintentionally. Considering everything, arranged marriages could be far worse. Mine wasn’t bad at all.

“I don’t know, Mom. Aiden’s a good company. He’s not a bad husband,” I said, trying to sound convincing.

Her face showed a mix of worry and pain.

“That’s all you can say about him? Not a bad husband?”

I knew how that sounded, but I wasn’t ready to commit to more than I could handle. I was keeping my growing feelings for Aiden to myself. It was small now, but with some care, it could become something real.

There were nights of passionate love or when he simply fell asleep beside me. His warm breath enveloped me every night. I was developing feelings for him I never thought possible. I used to despise the wealthy, but I didn’t despise him.

“Yes, Mom, that’s all I have to say. He’s a decent husband. I know you want me to be happy, and things are going well for me.”

She seemed somewhat reassured but still sat back, pondering.

“I’m not sure. The changes in you worry me.”

I frowned.

“What changes? What do you mean?”

She gestured at me.

“Your clothes, your attitude, and I haven’t seen you restore any art since I’ve been here.”

I shifted uncomfortably. She had a point, and I could see where she was coming from, but I pushed those thoughts down. I needed Aiden to keep my sister alive. Thinking that made the flames flicker in my mind. I didn’t want her to know about my sacrifice.

When I felt scared, I relied on the only man in my life, Aiden. It happened more often now. I stared into the fire. Before Aiden, I had worked hard on my art. Despite my mother’s constant reminders, I never mastered the art of elegant self-maintenance. I was my own person. But as Aiden’s charisma and control grew, I found myself blending more into his world. It was a refuge, but it could be a confining one.

I couldn’t let my mother worry about me.

“I’m fine, Mom, really. I’ll get back to my restoring art once this wedding stuff settles down. I’m just stressed right now.”

She sighed with relief.

“Sienna, I need you to answer this honestly. Why did you marry him?”

I swallowed hard, finding it increasingly difficult to hide the truth. She wouldn’t approve and would abandon all plans, which would likely be fatal for my sister. My soul felt the pressure. I couldn’t tell her it was for financial reasons and certainly not for love. What could I say to the woman who gave me life and was now afraid I was wasting it?

I gave her a weak smile.

“For the greater good. Trust me.”

My surroundings and heart felt increasingly constricted. My mother’s curiosity grew, and I had fewer justifications. I wasn’t angry with her. I understood completely; she was worried about my happiness. Lying to her hurt. Well, it was a half-truth. I wasn’t sure about Aiden’s feelings for me, but I knew I was developing feelings for him. Not being able to discuss this with her hurt. I had always imagined we’d have a mother-daughter talk where she’d give me advice on love.

In the flickering firelight, she held my gaze for a long time.

“I’ll trust you, then. And I really hope you’re right,” she said.

She looked at me with those concerned eyes that seemed to see right through me. “Do you really think you can find happiness in this arrangement?”

I sighed, feeling the weight of her question.

“I’m trying to find my way, Mom. It’s not easy, but I’m trying.”

She nodded slowly.

“I just don’t want you to lose yourself in the process.”

“I won’t,” I promised. “I’ll find a balance.”

“Do you love him?” she asked softly, almost afraid of the answer.

I hesitated, then said, “I don’t know. I’m still figuring that out.”

“That’s honest,” she said, appreciating my candor. “Just remember, your happiness matters the most.”

“I know, Mom. I’ll keep that in mind.”