Rated R for Ridiculous
For a full second, no one breathed or even made a move.
Diamond lay stunned on the floor, completely naked as the day she was born, her phone skidding a few inches away from her. Gabriele stood a foot away, wide eyed, mouth slightly open like he’d just witnessed a car crash in slow motion.
She scrambled up in record speed, snatched her phone, grabbed the towel, and yanked it back around her body. The fabric barely clung to her damp skin, but she managed to secure it just enough before fixing him with a death glare that could’ve set the walls on fire.
For one breathless second, they just stared at each other.
Then—
SLAP!
The sound echoed through the kitchen like a gunshot.
Gabriele’s head snapped to the side, the sting blooming across his jaw.. He stood there, stunned, hand on his cheek. “What the hell was that for?!”
“Seriously? You literally stripped me naked!” Diamond barked.
“It was an accident!” he shot back.
“Oh, really? 'Cause from where I was standing—or rather, laying on the damn floor—it didn't look like an accident to me!”
Gabriele scoffed. “I was trying to catch you! You were falling fast and I went to grab your hand and somehow—somehow—got your towel. This is all your fault by the way.”
“Oh, so now it’s my fault?” Diamond asked, her brows raised in disbelief.
He threw his hands up. “You’re the one who bumped into me!”
Diamond pointed to herself, seething. “I bumped into you? YOU FUCKING BUMPED INTO ME!”
“Oh come on, you had orange juice in one hand and your phone in the other—what were you even doing?! Trying out for Cirque du Soleil in a damn towel?”
“I was multitasking! Some of us can handle that, you know!”
“Oh my god—this is insanity. Why the hell would I want to see you naked?”
“Because you're a perv with no spatial awareness and fast hands!”
He threw his hands up. “Are you listening to yourself? I don’t even know you!”
“Oh, you know me now,” she said, jabbing a finger at her chest. “You know all of me now, thank you very much.”
“I didn’t ask for that knowledge!”
“Well, congratulations! You’re officially enrolled in Anatomy 101: Diamond Edition.”
Gabriele groaned. “What is wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong with you?! You just stood there staring like a deer in headlights!”
“Because I WAS SHOCKED. It’s not every day a naked woman falls at my feet like she’s starring in some budget porn!”
“Oh my God—budget? Budget?!” She looked mortally offended. “I’ll have you know, if I were doing porn, it would not be budget. It’d be premium. Exclusive. Top-tier subscription shit.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake…”
“No, you don’t get to ‘fuck’s sake’ this. You saw me naked. You owe me some kind of mental damages payment.”
“Mental damages? Lady, I might need therapy after this!”
“Good. Book the session. But I'm pressing charges and I’ll make sure you end up in jail. I’m already imagining the headline—‘Home Intruder Exposes Local Woman During Breakfast Hour.’”
“What the fuck?” Gabriele let out a humorless chuckle. “You fucking bumped into ME!” He said again, near manic.
“I was making eggs!”
“Eggs don’t require full nudity!”
“I just got out of the shower!”
“There are these magical inventions called CLOTHES, you know?” Gabriele clapped back in a mocking tone.
“And yet you’re walking around this house like you live here!”
“You know what?” he snapped. “You’re fucking insane. I should’ve just let you fall flat on your ass.”
“Oh, so you admit you were trying to touch me!”
“I was trying to help! You want me to apologize for having reflexes?!”
“Yes! And while you're at it, maybe apologize for having that face too. It’s offensive.”
“Oh now my face is offensive?! That’s rich coming from the girl who literally looks like a walking violation!”
“You’re a lawsuit waiting to happen,” she growled.
They stood there, chests rising and falling, glaring like two rival boxers before the bell.
Then—
“Gabriele?”
Both of them froze and turned toward the sound of Adriano’s voice.
There he was, standing at the bottom of the stairs, shirtless, hair a mess, bruises still visible on his face and torso. He blinked slowly, clearly still waking up.
“…What’re you doing here?” he asked Gabriele slowly, his brows drawing together in confusion.
Then his gaze shifted from Gabriele to Diamond.
Then back to Gabriele.
Then to Diamond’s face. Then—very carefully—he noticed how tightly she was holding her towel. The awkward tension in the air wasn’t hard to miss either.
Adriano frowned. “And what’s going on?”
A beat of silence passed.
“Did something happen?” he asked again, slower this time.