Chapter 29
To call the lake and surrounding woods picturesque would be a gross understatement.
The water is so clear, I can see all the way to the bottom. Rather than muddy, weed-filled lakes I am used to down south, the bottom of this lake is almost completely covered with smooth stone. I lean over the edge and watch tiny little fish dart around in the shallow water. As Caleb navigates the boat deeper into the water, I sit back up in my seat and take in the scenery. The still morning water is reflecting the vibrant oranges, golds, and reds of the fall leaves. When the wake from the boat ripples the water, I watch the near-perfect mirror image devolve into what looks more like flame than water with the fiery colors of the leaves.
I lean my head back against the seat and take a deep breath, allowing the crisp air to fill my lungs. It is cold enough outside that the air burns ever so slightly, but rather than chilling me it makes me feel awake, alive. If there is a heaven, I swear this is what it will be like.
I smile and look over at Caleb, who is already looking at me with an odd expression on his face. I immediately feel self-conscious, since I probably look like a maniac, breathing heavily and grinning like a fiend.
I am caught off-guard when he says, “You’re beautiful.” His voice is rough and so low that I can barely hear him over the rumble of the engine and the splashing wake.
I feel my face flush, and drop my eyes to the ground. I have no idea how to respond, apart from saying something stupid like *no, you are*! I finally decide to settle on a simple, “Thank you.”
We are silent for a while as he drives the boat around the lake. His house sits on a small inlet, rather than the main body of the lake like I originally assumed. The lake seems to go on for miles, and I swear every corner we turn leads to a scene that is somehow more beautiful than the last.
The lake is empty of any other people, which is insane to me considering how utterly beautiful it is. When I mention it to Caleb, he explains that most of the other residents of the lake either use their homes as vacation homes, or move to warmer climates during the cold months. I was half expecting him to tell me that he owns the whole damn lake, but that makes sense too.
After a few hours of meandering around the lake, Caleb finally steers us into another inlet that is so surrounded by trees that I would have completely missed it had he not driven us straight into it. I worry for a moment that the boat might not fit in the narrow gap between the foliage, but he expertly navigates through it, and once we are through the entrance the lake widens a bit more. The little cove is shockingly secluded, surrounded by forest so dense that I can only see flashes of the lake through the boughs. The sound of rushing water draws my attention from behind, and I turn forwards, only to see that this little inlet backs up to a rock wall, and a small but wide waterfall is pouring down into the lake.
I can’t help the gasp that escapes from me, and I turn to Caleb in amazement.
“Are you kidding me right now? A waterfall? I didn’t even know that lakes could *have* waterfalls!”
“Well they can, and as far as I can tell, I am the only person who knows about this one. There are a few more open waterfalls on this lake, but this one is so secluded that I have never seen another soul back here.”
“This is incredible. Really. Thank you for bringing me here,” I tell him sincerely.
He anchors the boat, then stands from his seat and moves to grab the tote bag he brought with him. Unzipping it, he reaches inside and pulls out a bottle of wine and two red plastic cups, along with a few containers filled with finger foods. Looking awfully proud of himself, he says, “I thought we could have a little picnic here.”
I laugh with delight, and grab the cups from him, holding them out while he pours wine into each.
Caleb spreads a blanket onto the open space of deck in the back end of the boat, and I pass him his cup of wine as we settle in. He sets down his wine, and opens up a container that has the leftover fruit from breakfast this morning, along with a few others holding cubed cheese, pretzels, and what looks like chocolate covered almonds.
I pluck a strawberry out of the fruit bowl, and ask, “When did you even have time to do all of this?”
He hesitates for a moment, then says, “Last night after you went to bed. I was too… worked up to sleep.” I take a bite of the strawberry, and his eyes drop to watch the motion, lingering as I lick the juice from my lips. The intensity of his gaze has me squirming, and head floods my lower belly.
He clears his throat and jolts his eyes away from me, taking a big swig of his wine, then refilling his cup.
*Fuck, I want to kiss him again*.
I know that I shouldn’t. I really, *really* shouldn’t. The last time I forgave someone for hurting me, he did it again, and again, and again. It doesn’t matter that Caleb has apologized, or that I have forgiven him. If I let him in, I will only be showing him that he can hurt me and I will look past it. Not to mention that he is basically my boss. Hell, my boss’s boss. It would be so unprofessional, and I don’t want to be known as the nurse that sleeps with the doctors, because that is most definitely a thing at every hospital I have ever worked at.
But *knowing* that I shouldn’t want Caleb doesn’t stop the longing that fills me, or the wetness forming between my thighs when I look at his sharp jawline, sprinkled with scruff. It doesn’t stop me from wondering what that scruff would feel like if he had his head buried between my thighs…
“You’re so quiet. What are you thinking about right now?” Caleb’s deep pierces my dirty train of thought, and I almost jump out of my skin when he breaks the silence.
“Oh,” I say breathily, flustered by his line of questioning, “Nothing. I was, uh, just enjoying the sound of the waterfall.” *God, I must be the world’s worst liar.*
His eyes narrow, and he looks totally unconvinced, but he doesn’t push.
We munch on the spread before us for a few more minutes, then Caleb grabs my hand and presses it between both of his own. “Your hands are freezing. Are you cold?”
“I guess I am,” I admit, and before I know it is happening, he shifts, reaching across the deck and grabs a blanket that I left sitting on the bench seat. He drops down next to me, and wraps it around me before rubbing his hands up and down my arms, warming me, fussing over me again.
His touch causes goosebumps to spread across my skin, lighting a fire in my belly that spreads downwards, causing an aching between my thighs. It’s unbelievable that such a simple, platonic touch could spark such a reaction in me, to cause what feels like every cell in my body to yearn for him, to want to be closer to him. I have never reacted like this physically with anyone before, and I’m not sure whether it is heaven or hell.
Taking a shuddering breath, I raise my eyes to meet Caleb’s. His gaze is dark, and I get the sense that he can tell *exactly* how badly I want him right now. I bite down on my lower lip, somewhat nervous, and his eyes follow the movement, heat sparking in them. I raise my eyebrows, challenging him to do something about it. Despite all of the reasons that I shouldn’t go there with him, I am tired of holding back.
If I am going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly.