Chapter 38 Grief is love that never dies
CHAPTER 38
Grief is love that can never die.
SCARLETT – POINT OF VIEW
The patio is beautiful. It’s in the backyard and covered in pink flowers. The storm is over, but the air is still cool. There are two couches and two flower vases. Harold and Stella are there, waiting for us.
Roman rubs his thumb on my wrist, and my cheeks flush. I know it’s just performance, but sometimes, it feels more.
“Good morning,” I say, slipping into character.
“Oh, good morning. How did you sleep?” Stella smiles warmly.
“Wonderfully. You have a beautiful home.” Roman tells her.
“I hope the storm wasn’t too much trouble?” Harold asks.
My cheeks heat up as I remember how close we had been to kissing last night.
“It wasn’t.” I lie through my teeth.
“Please sit down. The chef should bring the meals soon.” Stella urges, and I smile.
Roman helps me to the couch, then sits beside me, placing hand on my thigh. Shivers crawl down my spine, but I ignore them. He makes me come undone in the best ways.
Soon, Stella begins a light conversation, and I respond calmly, as sweetly as I can. We talk about the weather, about the meal we had last night, about the patio, about the estate, and everything.
Our food arrives, and we eat.
“We have a nice view of the ocean from our home. I had it before Scarlett, and now, I can’t help but wonder if she wants something better, something like your perfect home. She talked my ear off last night about how elegant it is.” Roman lies so effortlessly.
“Oh, really, Scarlett?” Stella chuckles.
“Oh, of course, you know your home is perfect. I think at every phase of one’s life, it is important to think of a home. Your home fills me with longing.” I play along as truth seeps into my lies.
“I understand you. Our children grew up here, and our grandchildren visit often.” Harold muses, and I nod.
“Are you thinking of kids now?” Stella asks coyly, and I freeze.
My heart races at her question, and I look at Roman, who seems caught off guard, too.
“You don’t have to answer.” Harold smiles, but we do. We have to answer. This is part of the tests, trying to check the validity of our relationship, to see if we are real.
Roman and I talked about a kid in the contract. A child between us will only further complicate things. Before Roman, I had thought about having a child of my own. I’ve always wanted a baby, but I was not going to have one until I found someone who loved my baby. Life as a Cartel Princess made me paranoid. How funny it is that all my fears turned out to be true later.
“We’ve thought about children, but you already know what Scarlett thinks – we keep it private until it’s permanent,” Roman responds effortlessly, and I look at him. Everything is so formal and business-like with him. The chances of us having a child together are next to nothing, and if it happens, I’ll run, and he’ll never find us.
“And, we have to get married first.” I point out.
“Oh, that’s true! So, what’s the plan? Are we thinking a destination wedding, or something simple?” Stella seems so excited for us.
I try not to spiral.
“I’ve always wanted something simple, not too extravagant. I know we have enough to spare, but I just think we can use the money for other things. I already know Roman loves me, so I don’t need him to prove anything to anyone. He doesn’t need anybody’s validation.” I whisper, thickly.
“Sounds like you might elope.” Harold teases.
Roman laughs, “I think about it all the time. Before we started dating, I was always scared someone would steal her from me. Even now that we are engaged, I still think someone would take her from me.”
“And, I always remind him thatit would never happen. I love him. He’s the light of my life. I have spent so much time alone, searching for him, and now, I’ve found him. He completes me, so there’s no one for me. Not in this life or the next. I am very secure in our love.” I avow softly and press my lips to his cheeks.
He wraps his hands around my waist and holds me close to him.
“How sweet. I have to steal him away for a second. Is that fine?” Harold grins.
“As long as you return him.” I giggle,e and everyone laughs.
Roman kisses my forehead, then leaves with Harold. I try not to be too worried.
“Why don’t we take a walk? The gardens are so beautiful this time of the year.” Stella suggests, and Ts and I nod, delighted.
And, so, we walk through the gardens. I know what this is. It is another test. I hope Roman doesn’t fumble his.
“So, when is the wedding?” She asks, calmly.
“Perhaps next year. We’ve been so busy, but we’ll pick a date soon.” I tell her.
“You might have to pick a date more quickly. Roman Sterling has always been known as a greedy rake, which always confused him. Yes, he was greedy, but I never saw any proof of him sleeping around. Anyway, my point is – now that you are here in his life, you need to lock him down quick. Most people won’t believe your love to be true, and someone like Roman, with a wild heart, might want to wander. Do not let him wander. Lock him down fast and begin building your family.” She advises passionately.
My heart races, but I nod, “You’re right.”
“What do your parents think about Roman? I hope they don’t believe the lies in the media.” She frowns.
I stop walking, andchoosee my words carefully.
“Unfortunately, my parents are late, but I’m sure they would have liked him.” I force a smile, even as my eyes sting with tears.
“Oh my dear, I am terribly sorry. It never gets old, does it? My mother passed two years ago, and I am still drowning in grief.” She chokes out, cheeks flushed.
Bingo.
“My parents passed almost four years ago, and I can’t handle it. My mom isn’t here for my big moments, and it kills me. I’m scared to have a baby that will never know the parents who loved me. I don’t know what to do, how carry on without my mom and my dad. They were perfect, and now, they’re gone. Time passes, but it doesn’t feel like it does.” I whimper, flooded by all the emotions I have not allowed myself to feel.
In a couple of months, my parents would have been dead for a year, and I still won’t know if they were buried or not. Were they buried like traitors or withhonourr?
“Grief, my dear, is love with no home to go. It is love that never dies. We loved them,m and they will live through us.” Stella assures me, and I nod, wiping away my tears.