Chapter 36 He took everything from me.
CHAPTER 36
He took everything from me.
ROMAN – POINT OF VIEW
Scarlett gasps in shock. I reach for the bedside mirror instantly and turn it on. The room is slowly illuminated. She goes for the lamp beside her with trembling hands, filling the room with a warm, golden glow.
Thunder strikes, and she flinches.
I frown at her reaction and assure her warmly, “I’m sure the storm will stop soon.”
She doesn’t believe me. The storm doesn’t look like it will stop anytime soon. Rain pours down hard, hammering the ground and the windows. Harold has a pretty safe house, but this storm is persistent. Thunder rolls constantly, shaking the air every few minutes.
“Do you think we’ll be able to drive out safely in the morning?” Scar asks cautiously, and I look at her.
She is wound so tight and very uncomfortable. I want to ask why she’s so scared of thunder,r but I know I shouldn’t cross another line. This evening has tested us so much, tested my restraint. I have never spent the night with any woman in a very long time. Scarlett is closer than anyone has ever been. She’s slipping past my defences, and I don’t think she’s doing it intentionally,y which makes this very funny. She disarms me effortlessly.
“The roads will be safe enough in the morning. The storm will stop, eventually. Why don’t we go to sleep? I know you’re tired.” I offer calmly, even as my gaze runs over her like a touch.
“Sleep? Why? No, I’m good. I don’t want to sleep. What … what if the storm blows the roof off?” She whispers, eyes darting around the room, as if she is expecting something terrible to appear out of thin air.
“Scarlett,” I say softly, and she looks at me.
My heart clenches painfully at the look in her eyes. She’s afraid. Why is she afraid? Who hurt her? Who instilled fear in her? She needs to tell me who hurt her so I can make them pay.
“Why don’t we talk about something? Anything to take your mind off this panic?” I suggest, and sit up.
“You don’t have to indulge me. I know you have to work in the morning, so go to sleep, Roman.” She packs her beautiful hair in a bun. I don’t answer. I am distracted by her slender arms, her neck, her gorgeous body. I want to run my tongue over it and lick the salt from her skin.
Another thunder rumbles through the dark cloud, and she flinches. I sigh and reach for her. She frowns at me, and I say, “Sit up, and listen. You don’t have to tell me anything about you. You just have to listen to me.”
She doesn’t respond, but sits upright, with her back against the wall.
“I know I seem like an asshole most of the time,” I begin, laughing dryly, undermining what I am about to do.
“I wasn’t always like this. I wasn’t always rich. I grew up without money, but I never lacked. My parents did everything they could for me. They gave me what I needed and wanted. I went to the best schools, the best University. I was very smart, and a bit arrogant,” I choose my words carefully and ignore my pounding heart.
She laughs softly, and my chest expands with warmth.
“I knew the type of life I was going to live. I did not have the money, but I had the hunger. I was very hungry, Scarlett. Hungry for success, desperate for comfort. I walked with people who I knew would be something great. I was very tactical with the people I shared my time with, except her.” I clench my jaw hard, and my cheeks heat.
“Her?” Scarlett frowns, looking at me.
No one knows this. I don’t talk about this. I keep my past in a tight fist, but somehow, I cave.
“Amara Russo and I were together for two years. I was going to marry her. I was young, eighteen, but I loved her as much as my teenage heart could, and I was going to marry her. Dante was my closest friend. We were two peas in a pod, and Amara was mine, mine, but of course, you know how the story goes.” I laugh dryly as darkness curls in me.
This is familiar to me. This feeling, it is what I have felt for the last decade, and it has directed me. I don’t consider myself a good person. I was always meant to be this, and their betrayal was the nudge I needed to become who I was always meant to be.
“She cheated on you with him?” Scar asks softly.
I scoff, bitterly, and shake my head.
“You know, I could have overlooked the cheating. I wouldn’t have forgiven them, but I could have lived my life. I would have been fine, but that’s not all, Scarlett. They took something important from me, someone important; they forced me to make a choice that has haunted me ever since. They ruined my fucking life. Dante was my best friend. He was my brother. I loved him like my own, and he wielded a knife in my back through the woman I loved.” I seethe.
Blood rushes to my head, and my veins are molten ice.
“I trusted him. I trusted them, and now, I will never make that mistake again. I am not excusing my behaviour or apologising for it. I just want you to understand how I am. I did not tell you this so you can reciprocate, no, our pasts belong to us.” I push down on my anger and glance at her.
Her cheeks are flushed, and her eyes are wide.
She looks away instantly, like she can’t bear to look at me.
Rage bursts through me, and I want to yell. I want to tell her I was not always a monster. I became a monster to survive. I wear this skin because it’s the only choice I have, but I don’t get the chance to speak.
She turns to me and wraps her arms around my shoulder, pulling me into the softest of hugs.
For a second, my heart stops beating. Then, the traitorous organs come back to life with a painful awareness. I wrap my arms around her and lean into her warmth, almost drowning in it. I press my face into her hair. My hand linger on her waist, on the thinnest silk holding me back.
My heart pounds faster, and my ears ring.
I dig my nails into my fingers and slowly pull away from her.
She doesn’t let me get far. She reaches for me and threads her fingers through my hair.
I lean into her touch and slowly close the distance between us. Our gaze connects, hooded with want and lust. I cup her cheeks in the darkness, and carefully graze my lips over hers.
Suddenly, the light comes on, filling every nook and cranny with brightness.
Her eyes widens and she pulls away from me.
“I .. I should go to … Goodnight.” She stammers, avoiding my gaze.