After a short time she pulls back, an arm still around my waist as the other pulls at a lock of my hair. "You look so different sweetheart." Her voice is soft as she tries to hold back more tears. "You're still the same but you just look so much more mature and just happy." She looked exactly the same. She was only twenty three when I left and she looked like the same as if the last time I saw her was only yesterday. Her nails were still perfectly manicured though they were now a muted tan colour with accents of black and whatever face cream she used kept everything where it was supposed to be was working. Her black hair was pulled up in a sleek ponytail that highlighted her perfect eye liner. Her eyes flick over to Ryder moving over him in a slow sensual sense before they come back to me with a secret smirk. "And you've got this one here as well. He's drop dead gorgeous and to top it all off he's a King and you're going to marry him." Chuckling lightly I look over at Ryder to see his eyes concentrated on me. When I feel Heidi take my hand playing with the large diamond that Ryder had told me was once actually Jordena's herself. She gasps at the large sparkly rock and I notice that she has her own plus a wedding ring stacked on top. "If it's ok with you, your future hubby invited me to your wedding and this big coronation thing." Her hand runs over my arm as she asks to attend the new beginning of my life. "Of course you can," My voice rises in pitch and she laughs at the sound with a small squeeze of my arm. "What about you? When did you get married?" "Before you start catching up do you want to move this into the living room?" Ryder states more than asks as he pulls me back to the living area. My guards where no longer sat on the lounge and had moved elsewhere and once Ryder is happy that I'm comfortable he goes off to join them. "I was nervous when he came into Carlett and told me that you two were engaged but he treats you exactly the way I hope he would have." Her hand rubs over my knee and she continues to fight back her tears. She always cared for me like a mother should. "I hated seeing you in that place, especially after what happened to you. Does he know about what happened?" My chest clenches at the memories she's causing to resurface. Henry comes into the room with a cup of tea that he sits down in front of Heidi and a cup of water for me. Ryder and Riley had cut me back on anything that had caffeine in it and that included the coca that was in the hot chocolates that I liked. Nodding once Henry is gone, she lets out a deep sigh. "I kept having episodes and he was always and still is there to calm me down." When she gives my leg a rub I catch another glimpse of her rings. "You're married." "Yeah," she smiles a hand rubbing over her stomach. "Josh and I were only together for a few months before you left so I never got to tell you but he's amazing. It's coming up on our three year anniversary." When she rubs her stomach again she notices my eyes on her hand. "Josh doesn't know yet but I'm eight weeks along and we already have an eighteen month old boy. I just don't want to tell him yet in case something happens. There's always a high risk of miscarriage. Are you ready to get married though, you seem nervous about it." "I love him and I want to be his wife but I'm scared and after we're married I'm supposed to get pregnant so he can have an heir and," I can't take my eyes of her caring hand caressing her stomach. "It's ok. Becoming a mother to Colin scared the crap out of me. I had spent most of my life watching you girls and you especially and when I couldn't protect you from what happened it was all I could think about and that I wouldn't be able to protect to him either and I still think about everyday but then I come home to my amazing husband and a smiling baby and it all seems easier. It's going to be shit sweetheart but you've got a great partner and sometimes it's going to be hard and you're going to make mistakes but you're going to have a lot of people behind you and if you want I'll be one of them." Tears fall from my eyes as I lean forward to wrap my arms around her as I nod my head. She was always brutally honest with me at times and her words did nothing to reassure me that everything was just going to be fine and dandy but that wasn't what she was trying to do. "It's going to hurt." I whisper against the pale skin of her neck. "What will?" Even though I was getting closer to Colette I didn't feel the same connection to her that I do with Heidi. "Ryder's the first guy I've ever kissed and after the wedding we're going to," Heidi chuckles pulling back as she smirks at me lightly. "Yeah it will hurt because I can tell what that boys got going on down there is nowhere near being small or at least average and once your past the initial pain you'll feel the most pleasurable you've ever felt." When I tilt my head at the disturbing image she laughs and takes another sip of her tea which I realise has a calming scent to it. She sits talking with me about random topics for about an hour before Ryder returns telling us that he'll take us to lunch but Heidi says she has to get back to Carlett but that she'll see me at the ball in three days. "She's a very vocal person," Ryder says as he sits back down next to me on the lounge where Heidi was just sat. "She always knows what to say." Leaning into him he runs his hand over my thigh.