My heart was pounding in my ears and my entire body felt stiff and locked up. I remembered the battle, all the rebels that I had managed to kill and the way that there blood seemed to stain all the surfaces it covered. It was stuck in my mind that I had taken lives. It soothed me to know that I done what I had wanted to do and saved the lives of the wolves that I was born to lead. With the memory of the lives I had saved I was reminded of what I nearly lost. Reynolds. My pup. Shotting up from the soft mattress of the bed I drop my hands over my stomach in a protective manor. Was my pup ok? Allie had told me that I was bleeding a lot. Had I lost my baby before I was given the chance to love it? I was so caught up in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed the hand that was already covering my stomach. The warmth of his touch radiating through me comforted me a little that I finally had my mate back by my side. Ryder's breathe fans over the back of my neck as he sits up beside me. Thankfully someone had slipped me into a pair of underwear so I wasn't completely naked but with the exposed skin I felt every single contour of Ryder's warm, toned body as he sat up behind me. "It's ok, Lottie." Shaking my head I continue to ran my hand over my stomach and tightly grip his hand that's already on my stomach. "Calm down." "I can't." I was close to tears and Ryder wasn't doing anything to reassure me that our pup was okay. "Yes you can." He slid his hand across my stomach and takes my other hand into it. "Relax and listen." Squeezing his hand again I try to calm myself down. My heartbeat was loud it took me a little while to calm it down to a normal level. Once I'm calmed enough I concentrate hard on my hearing. It's a very steady thumping. A fast thumping that sounded like a train travelling over the tracks. "It's ok." Turning my head I meet his eyes and see that he's almost in tears himself. Ryder nods his head at me and drops it against mine. "You're still bleeding a little but Riley says it's nothing to worry about." "What about Reynolds?" Ryder's hand froze over my stomach and I dared to meet his eyes. He was trying not to lose the last bit of calm he had. It looked as if he was about to break. I don't know how I would handle it if he told me that Reynolds was gone. "He's still in the hospital. He hasn't woken up yet." Turning my head away from him I take a long shaky breathe. Reynolds could have been sitting just outside the door if I hadn't gone out to fight. Pushing Ryder's hand away and up off the bed I walk towards the bathroom. The fast movements turned my stomach and I had took a deep breathe to settle it. I heard Ryder growl and his footsteps follow after me. "Lottie you're supposed to be resting." He growled the words out as he moved up behind me. Turning around to look at him I can't help the way that my eyes move over his almost naked body in a sexual manor. Shaking my head I turned back to the closet and search for some comfortable clothes. "I need to see him Ryder. It's my fault he's there." I had fallen to my knees, my hands picking at the little lint balls on the tracksuit pants I pulled out. Ryder sunk down behind me, his hand rises to my hair and he pulls my head in to press a kiss to my head. "It's not your fault. You did everything to protect him. You saved the lives of a lot of wolves." "What if he dies?" I whisper, my voice breaking on the last word. Ryder took a deep breath and nodded his head once at me. "He's a brother to you and if the last thing he does is save you, he'd be happy." His hand landed back on my stomach and his fingers tickled my skin. "Maybe we could name it Reynolds from him after all." I broke down then, dropping the sweatpants. Ryder wrapped his arms around me and rocked me a little as he pressed his lips to the top of my head. My body was shaking and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop them or the tears. "I'm sorry." My voice was muffled against his chest. He chuckles humourlessly, pressing another kiss to my head. "You have a lot of extra hormones running through your body, it's okay." With an exhale he pulls back to look at me. "You're not going to be able to rest until you see him are you." Nodding my head at him, he gives me a soft smile. He passes me a long sleeved shirt as he picks out his own loose grey t-shirt and slips it over his head. The grey sweatpants hung low on my waist and the black shirt clung to me. When I first caught my reflection in the mirror my eyes moved to my stomach.