After I had blacked out everything was spacey. There were moments that I was floating in darkness, with no sense of up and down. My thoughts were calm and I didn't feel the pain. I was calm in those moments. When I was pulled from those moments, my body was on fire from the injuries that covered a majority of my limbs. I couldn't even scream when the pain became too much and pulled me from my peace. All I could do was groan and tightly grip at whatever I could with my hands and wait for the darkness to return. Those moments were the worst because I couldn't put a face to the murmurs that I heard around me. I didn't know if George had come back, or if Ryder had finally found me, or even a random stranger who was helping me or taking advantage of my helplessness. The drugs were still in my system and if my connection to Ryder had appeared again I wouldn't have noticed. I couldn't feel him. All I had were memories to know that he was real and that once I felt normal again he would be by my side. The strongest pain I felt was one that I hadn't expected. From what I could tell it didn't last long but a searing pain shot through my neck as I felt something sharp sink into the sensitive skin of my neck where I knew Ryder's claim rested, that I had to scream at when I felt the pain. Darkness still surrounded my but now I'm aware of everything around me and my body. My breathing was rough and laboured and I could finally feel the rise and fall of my chest with it. I could feel a weight around me, heavier in one area and lighter in others but it was there. I want to open my eyes but they're too heavy. Forcing all the energy I have to open my eyes, finally I do and I'm not comfortable with what I see. I'm in a room that I don't recognise. The room was dark but there was still a light behind me, allowing me to make out some of the details of what I could see. I was rested mostly on the left side of my stomach, relieving any pressure from where most of my cuts were. The walls were a dark grey with a dark wood floor. All I could see without twisting my neck was the light grey doona that was wrapped around my shoulders and the white pillow slip. Across from the bed there's a rustic wooden desk with black metal legs and books covering the shelves beneath it. Underneath the bed there was a black and white flecked soft fluffy rug that hid the hard floors beneath and it reminded me of Ryder's fur. Closing my eyes I try to think of where I might be. There's a soft weight over my hip now and I notice that its fingers gently brushing over my skin. With the feeling of someone's touch moving over my skin I take note of the warm breath that fans over my neck and the pressure of something resting against the back of my head. Words broke through the haze of my mind pulling me out of the darkness I wanted to fall back into. It was Ryder's voice. My mouth pulled up slightly, as much as it allowed me to, he was reading to me. I didn't know the story but the soft tone of his voice calmed me. It was laced with worry as well and every few lines I'd feel his lips land around my shoulders. Ryder's lips come down again and they land on a sensitive spot and I groan at the pain it sends through my body. When he pulls back this time he doesn't continue speaking, instead I feel his breathing increase and his body starting to shake lightly. I wasn't healing. I could still feel the deep cuts even though they had stopped bleeding and been bandaged, but they were all still there. Ryder shuffles and I can tell he wants to pull me back against his chest but second guesses it, deciding to move his hand to lock around mine. My breathing speeds up as I try to force something out of my mouth. Ryder tenses again, probably thinking that I'm in pain but I don't care at the moment. I would feel all the pain in the world just so could cuddle into the safety of his arms now. "Ryder," My voice is course and quiet but I know Ryder still would have heard me. The book fell to the bed with a light thud and soon his hand cups my cheek turning my head slightly. I wince at the movement and Ryder runs his finger along my cheek bone gently. Slowly I open my eyes again and I met the beautiful hazel that I love. Instantly my eyes watered, he shook his head above me and wiped away the few tears that had slipped from my eyes. Even his were watering slightly. "I'm sorry." I whisper to him, my voice scratching as I speak. "Don't apologise baby." His hand gently runs along my neck and I wince. Ryder's face drops and he pulls away from me, leaning over to pick up something behind him. When he turns back I see a bottle gripped in two of his fingers and his others wrapped around something else. Very gently he slides his arm underneath my shoulder and carefully helped me to sit up, tensing further every time that I winced in pain. "Take these and you can go back to sleep." He opened his palm showing me the two tablets he was holding. "No, I want to talk." There was so much that I didn't know that happened when I was out of it. He wasn't having it though. "You need to heal." He counters his fingers tickling over my skin again. "I want to go to our room." Ryder sighs deeply and looks away from me to the two double doors that lead out of the room. They're open slightly letting in the warm light from the other room. "It needs repairing." He says turning back to me. "My wolf was unsettled and I broke some things up there." Falling against his side I rest my head on his shoulder, trying to relish in the feeling of the tingles that I had missed. They were dull but they were there. "Where are we then?" Taking the two tablets I drink half of the water before I hand it back to Ryder. "This is my old room. It's only just down the hall. Come on. Get some sleep we can talk when you're feeling better." He hadn't attempted to release his hold on me at all and I didn't want to let go of him either. He tries to help me back down to my original position but I shake my head and loop my arm around his neck. "Don't let me go."