Chapter 25
Lucy Gallo slots a fresh magazine into her Smith and Wesson 9mm and takes aim. “So, are you fucking that teacher?”
Without waiting for Jessica’s answer, she takes a shot. It’s a lousy one, puncturing the target on the shoulder. Lucy usually gets the chest if it’s what she’s aiming for. Jessica is thrown by the question coming at her from out of the blue while her friend isn’t even looking at her, but she takes that poor shot as a sign that it makes Lucy nervous to raise the subject at all.
It’s Tuesday, their monthly date at the shooting range in Salisbury. Marcus works a night patrol on Monday, so he’s watching the boys, if you can call sleeping lightly while they watch videos supervision. Girls’ Day at the Range is usually good for blowing off a little steam, but it’s not doing that for Jessica today. Firearms have lost some of their appeal for her ever since pondering Matt’s death became her late-night occupation. They’ve been doing a manhunt for him in the mountains of Nangarhar province where his company was ambushed on August fifteenth while investigating a tunnel complex near Tora Bora. She remembers seeing an artist’s rendering of the mountain lair back when Bin Laden was rumored to be hiding out there: a subterranean compound of interconnected caves that reminded her of an anthill. No one is telling her outright that they believe Matt is being held captive there, but she knows they must be considering it.
She tries to imagine him still alive and free, rationing his MREs and hunting mountain goats, waiting for an opportunity to flag down a helicopter. She doesn’t allow herself to indulge that fantasy for more than a minute at a time. Better to keep busy in the absence of concrete facts. But whatever stress reduction and distraction she might have hoped to find at the range today goes up in smoke at Lucy’s question.
She couldn’t wait until lunch to drop that one? When they don’t have to yell over ear protectors to talk? At least they’re the only ones on the range this hour.
“What teacher?” Jessica asks, deciding to make Lucy work for it, or at least take another crappy shot.
Lucy, in shooting stance, glances at Jessica and raises an eyebrow that says, Seriously? She takes her next seven shots in rapid succession, shredding the paper target’s head and more than making up for that first stray. Lucy’s gun holds one more bullet than Jessica’s Ruger LC9s. They have a running joke that if it came down to it, Jessica would need to be the better shot. She used to be pretty good when she came here regularly with Matt, but she’s gotten rusty while Lucy has gotten better. Ironic, considering that she’s the one more likely to have to defend the home on her own.
When Lucy’s magazine is empty, Jessica takes her ear protectors off, signaling that she’d rather have this out than take her turn shooting and shouting. Lucy follows suit.
“He’s a friend. Why? What did you hear?”
“Meg Saddler said she saw you two at Winnekenni last weekend when I had Gavin over. She jogs there.”
“I thought you didn’t gossip.”
“I don’t. Meg does. But you should know that it’s getting around.”
Jessica feels herself blushing and is angry at her own face for betraying her because there’s nothing to be ashamed of. She hasn’t done anything wrong. “What’s getting around? We were meeting to talk about Gavin. About his gaming habits and online safety.”
Lucy ejects her magazine and refills it, her eyes on the task when she says, “So you went to him for tech support. I get it; I’m not judging you. But… are you getting other kinds of support, too?”
Jessica scoffs. “You are so judging me if you think that.”
“What? Think what? That you might need someone to talk to? Because you can talk to me, you know. I don’t know why you don’t when you must be worried sick about Matt.”
Jessica looks downrange at the paper target with the shredded head. “Of course I am.”
Lucy slots her magazine in. “I just don’t want to see you do something you’ll regret, if you haven’t already.”
“God. I can’t believe you would even think that. Don’t you know me better than that? And I have enough to worry about right now without people talking about me behind my back. You can tell Meg to mind her own fucking business.”
“I’m sorry. You’re right. I do know you better. It’s just… I’ve seen women channel their grief and loneliness in destructive ways. So have you. You’re vulnerable right now and you won’t even talk to me about it, so yeah, when I hear that you’re hanging out with a guy I didn’t even know you were friends with, it gets my dander up. But it’s because I’m protective of you. And of Matt. Wouldn’t you be the same?”
“I would never cheat on Matt. I would never do that to our family.”
“Well, you’re the exception.”
“You’ve cheated on Marcus?”
Lucy’s perfect eyebrows scrunch. “No. But I remember what it was like when he was deployed. Going ten months without sex? Without physical contact with another adult? It makes you crazy.”
Jessica ejects the magazine from her gun, then removes the rounds and puts them back in the box.
“What are you doing?” Lucy asks.
“I don’t feel like shooting. I thought I did, but I don’t.”
“Okay. Lunch then?”
“I think I’d rather pick up Gavin and go home.”
“Jess, I said I’m sorry.”
“I just can’t even have this conversation right now.”
“Hey. Don’t shut me out.”
“Matt isn’t my only worry, okay? And not everything is about my needs. If you really want to help, you can help me with this Rainblocks event the boys are crazy about. That’s what I was talking to Andy about. The game has connections to something bad. I don’t know exactly what’s going on yet, but Andy is taking it seriously.”
“Your own fidelity aside, Jess, you’re hot and lonely and he’s single. He’d probably take Bigfoot seriously coming from you.” She smirks in a way that’s supposed to make it a joke and break the tension, but it doesn’t work.
“This is serious. There you stand, with a gun you’re probably never going to need, and you won’t even hear me out about a real threat.”
“What threat? Tell me.”
“If I knew, I’d be telling Marcus. I’d be talking to the police or the FBI. It’s just hints right now, but I’m telling you, there’s something going on behind that game. Something wrong.” She shakes her head. “And I don’t have the heart to tell Gavin he can’t go to the show because it’s all he talks about. He needs something to look forward to, to be happy about. After the show, I’ll wean him off it. I just want to get through the next two weeks before school starts without everything going to hell.” Jessica snaps her gun case closed and hugs her elbows, staring at the floor. “It’s just… too much. Too much.”
Her bottom lip trembles and Lucy pulls her into an embrace.
Buried in the other woman’s shoulder, Jessica finally breaks down, and it all comes rushing to the surface, spilling out in hot tears.
“Shhh. It’s okay,” Lucy says. “You’re going to be okay.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I know you. And you’re right; I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“You know what my greatest fear is?” It comes out in a whisper. “That he’s not dead but captured. How fucked is that? That part of me hopes he’s dead because…”
Lucy strokes the back of her head, giving her time to gather the breath and courage to finish.
“Because if he’s alive, they could execute him on the internet. Maybe today, maybe two years from now.” A sob escapes her, an animal sound. “And Gavin might see it someday. See his father beheaded in a video. Because nothing on the web is ever over.”