Chapter 4 I Prefer You In Nothing
The steering wheel felt cold under Sarah’s grip, but her palms were damp. Every red light was a reminder of the conversation with Stacy.
Whatever she had with Alex was a scandal waiting to happen. It was a mistake that never should have happened and she should have handled it as that.
“Oh god. This shouldn't have happened at all.”
The words looped in her mind like a broken record. She was a CEO. She was a mother. She was supposed to be the adult in every room, yet she had let a twenty-two-year-old dismantle her entire moral compass in a single night.
“You're bigger than this, Sarah. You can absolutely control this,” she said under her breath.
"I have to end it," she whispered to the empty car. "Right now. There has to be total silence from my end."
She turned into her driveway, her heart sinking when she saw Mark’s beat-up sedan parked in its usual spot. She took a deep breath, smoothing her skirt and checking her reflection. She looked like the same Sarah Hayes who had left for work that morning, but she felt like an intruder in her own life.
She pushed open the front door, the scent of pepperoni and grease hitting her immediately.
"Mom! You're home late. Another hectic work day?” Mark called out from the living room.
Sarah froze. There, spread out on the sofa, were Mark and Alex. They had a laptop open between them and a half-empty pizza box on the coffee table.
The sight should have been normal, it had happened a hundred times before—but today, there was something about this sight that made her nipples harden.
"Hi, honey," Sarah managed to say. Her voice came out thin, higher than usual. She didn't dare look at the left side of the couch.
"Hey, Mrs. Hayes," a deep, smooth voice said.
The sound sent a physical jolt through her. Her knees actually trembled. Finally, she let her eyes drift toward him.
Alex was leaning back, his long legs stretched out, looking more at home than she felt. He looked exactly like the boy she had always known, but his eyes were different. They were dark and focused on her.
"Alex," she stammered, her hand clutching her bag so hard her knuckles turned white.
"I... I didn't know you were coming over today…uhhh…good to see you!"
"Just helping Mark with his resume," Alex said. He took a slow bite of pizza, his gaze never leaving her face.
"He’s got that big interview on Monday, remember? I told him I’d help him look sharp."
"Yeah, he’s a lifesaver, Mom," Mark added, eyes glued to the screen.
"I was totally formatting this wrong. Alex is a genius with this stuff."
"Is he?" Sarah asked, the irony tasting like ash in her mouth.
"I like to be thorough," Alex said. The corner of his mouth twitched into the tiniest, most dangerous smirk.
"I don't like to leave a job half-finished. You know how it is, Mrs. Hayes. Quality matters."
Sarah felt a flush creep up her neck. She felt sick, yet a traitorous part of her body was waking up, remembering the weight of him from the night before.
"I... I’m going to go change," Sarah said, stepping toward the stairs. She felt like she was walking on a tightrope.
"Wait, Mom," Mark said, finally looking up. "Did you fix that leak? Alex was saying he hoped the faucet stayed quiet today."
Sarah stopped with her foot on the first step. She felt Alex’s eyes burning into her back.
"It’s fine, Mark," she said without turning around.
"Glad to hear it," Alex’s voice drifted over. "I’d hate to think you were struggling with anything alone while I’m around to help."
Sarah bolted. She didn't walk; she practically ran up the stairs, the sound of her own frantic heartbeat drowning out the boys’ conversation. She slammed her bedroom door shut and leaned against it, gasping for air as if she’d just run a marathon.
"Stop it," she hissed at herself, pressing her cool palms to her burning cheeks. "Stop this right now."
She crossed to her bed—the same bed where he had pinned her down just hours ago—and felt a wave of nausea. She looked at her hands; they were shaking. She was a grown woman, a leader of a company, and she was hiding in her room from a boy who was currently eating pizza with her son.
Why did he have so much power? Why, even now, with the fear of Mark finding out clawing at her chest, was she thinking about the way Alex’s voice sounded when he whispered "mama"?
She moved to her closet to change out of her work clothes, her mind racing. She needed to be cold.
She needed to be the "Mrs. Hayes" he used to be afraid of. She grabbed a plain, oversized sweater and thick leggings, trying to erase any trace of the woman he had seen the night before.
She sat on the edge of her bed, trying to find her center.
“He’s just a boy,” she told herself. “A boy with a crush and a lot of nerve. You are the adult. You set the rules.”
Her phone buzzed on the nightstand. There was a text.
She stared at it for a long beat before picking it up.
It was Alex. Oh God.
“You are probably wearing something soft. But I prefer you in nothing at all.”