Do You Still Want Them?

Do You Still Want Them?
💎Angel💎

With trembling fingers, I slowly opened the door and stepped inside.

No shattered glass. No blood. I let out a shaky breath of relief and looked around.

"Raul?" I called softly, checking the bathroom.

Nothing.

The balcony door was ajar, the curtains swaying with the night breeze. I stepped outside and found him standing there, elbows resting on the railing, his eyes fixed on the dark sky. 

A silhouette carved out of grief and silence.

I walked up to him and gently placed my palm on the tense muscle of his arm. He didn't flinch. Didn't move. Just stared.

"I won't pretend to understand exactly how you feel, Raul... because I don't," I said quietly. 

"But I know it's hard—seeing him, remembering everything. Still... please, don't let the anger consume you. Don't let hate make a home inside you. It'll steal your peace, no matter how hard you try to be happy."

A tear rolled down my cheek. "And I want you to be happy, Raul. Our baby wants her papa to be happy too. Won't you try... for us?"

He turned to me, his expression blank, eyes guarded. 

This will take more than words, I thought, my heart sinking.

"Raul," I whispered, taking his hand, my thumb tracing his knuckles. 

"I'm not saying you should pretend like nothing happened. But maybe... maybe just give him a chance to prove he's sorry. That he's worthy of your forgiveness."

I swallowed hard, lowering my gaze. "Because if you're still holding on to the past, Raul... if you're still angry at him for taking those people from you... maybe it means you haven't let go of them either."

His brows furrowed, confusion flickering across his face. "How can you say—"

"It is like part of you still wants them. Like if it hadn't happened, you'd still choose them over me." 

The words stung, not just for effect—I felt them too, a quiet fear gnawing at my heart.

"And if that's true... then maybe you don't love me the way you say you do."

"Angel..." he murmured, stepping closer and pulling me into his arms.

"That's not it," he whispered, burying his face in my neck. "God, that's not it. If anything, I'm grateful it happened, because it led me to you. If it hadn't, I wouldn't have found you. I wouldn't know what it means to be whole."

His voice cracked.

"I'm not mad at Nikolai for taking them. And maybe the blame isn't even fully his. If Alfreda, Claretta, or Catalina truly loved me, or had any ounce of shame, they wouldn't have slept with him—wouldn't have even thought about it. That's what broke me. It made me question my worth."

He pulled back, eyes meeting mine with raw intensity.

"That's also what drew me to you, tesoro. Even when you tried so hard to resist me, your eyes betrayed you."

I tilted my head, curious despite the tears.

"I saw how much you wanted me. When I left for Paris and knew Nickolai was back in LA... I nearly lost it. I thought you'd choose him—he was the 'safe' option, the single one. But you didn't. You chose me. Despite what people would say. Despite everything."

He cupped my face gently.

"You chose me. That's why I'll love you for the rest of my life."

A shadow passed over his face again. The pain returned.

"I'm not angry that he slept with them," he said, voice low. "I just... I need to understand why. That's all I want. A reason."

I reached for his hands again, grounding him.

"Then talk to him. Just hear him out. Whatever decision you make after that, I'll support you. But Raul... forgive him. Not for him. For you."

He didn't answer. He only held me tighter, his face buried in the curve of my neck.

And I let him. Because sometimes, silence says more than words ever could.

^^^^^

"Wow, what's that smell?" Joanna breezed into the dining room, her face lit with delight.

"Joan, go get everyone for breakfast," Mamá instructed as we set the table, plates clinking softly.

"Okay, Mamá!" Joanna grinned, practically bouncing out of the room.

"Angel," Mamá called, her voice soft but tinged with worry. I looked up, catching the unease in her eyes.

"What is it, Mamá?"

"How did it go last night? What did Raul say?"

I smiled, placing the jug on the table. "He didn't say it outright, but he's willing to talk to Nikolai."

Her breath caught, eyes widening. "Really?"

"Yes, Mamá."

"Oh my...." She covered her mouth, stifling a sob as tears welled up. "Thank you, darling." She hurried over, wrapping me in a warm hug, her gratitude palpable.

The others trickled in, except for Raul and Nikolai. 

Nikolai arrived first, looking refreshed—his stubble shaved, hair neatly tied back in a bun, a grim contrast to last night's disheveled state.

"Morning, Mamá," he greeted, kissing her cheek before sliding into the seat beside Joanna.

"Brother, can you take me out today?" Joanna asked, popping an orange slice into her mouth.

"Give him a break, Jay," Mia scolded. "He just got back. If you want to go out, Luca's always free and ready to play tour guide."

Joanna choked on her orange, and Nikolai instantly wrapped an arm around her. 

"Careful, Jay," he scolded, handing her a glass of water. Her cheeks flushed, her smile barely suppressed as she blinked rapidly.

I glanced at Luca, unusually quiet, then back at Joanna. Am I missing something?

Raul finally strode in, his presence commanding. 

"Hey, honey," Mamá waved at him, her smile bright. 

He returned it, kissing her cheek before scanning the table. We'd deliberately filled the seats, leaving only the one beside Nikolai.

"Mamá, can we switch? I want to be near Angel," Raul said, frowning, his eyes flicking to me with a silent glare. I winked back, unfazed.

"No, hijo," Mamá replied sweetly. "You had her all night. I want to be close to my grandchild."

Raul's jaw tightened, but he sat, clearly annoyed.

"Hermano, Angel," Joanna called, a mischievous glint in her eye. 

"How do you two find time for romance with all this family chaos? I swear, you must sneak off to secret date spots when we're not looking."

"You brat!" Nikolai tugged her ear, mimicking Raul's move from last night.

"Shit, that hurts!" Joanna whined, swatting at him.

"Hell yeah, it should," Nikolai shot back. "Who taught you to talk like that? If I find out someone's messing around with you, I'll kill them." His glare made her swallow hard. 

Overprotectiveness must run in their veins.

"Chill, I'm still a virgin," Joanna muttered, earning a sharper glare.

"I hope so," he growled. "And Jay, no one asked for your purity report. Stop being weird."

Nikolai grumbled, returning to his food.

"Is this a twin thing?" Luca asked, eyeing them as they both looked up in sync.

"Okay, that was creepy," Bianco muttered.

"You two need to stop being so overprotective," Joanna said, her tone defiant. "I'm not a kid anymore. I can have a boyfriend if I want."

Mamá's eyes flickered with fear. The brothers' glares pinned Joanna, who suddenly found her plate fascinating.

"You're not dating until you're thirty," Raul declared sternly.

"Y-you can't do that!" Joanna stammered.

"Watch us, sister," Nikolai replied, his voice cool and nonchalant.

"Mamá, Mia!" Joanna pleaded, but they raised their hands in surrender, shaking their heads. Her scoff sparked laughter around the table.

After breakfast, as everyone dispersed, Nikolai caught Raul's arm. 

"Can we talk, brother?"

Raul's eyes were unreadable, a wall of stone. Mamá glanced at me, worry creasing her brow.

"Let's go, Angel," she urged, taking my hand. I gave Raul an encouraging smile before we left, my heart whispering a hope that they'd find a way through.

In our room, mama made sure I took my vitamins then she left.

Moments later, Dad stepped onto the balcony, a warm smile on his face.

"Dad?" I called, surprised. He settled into the chair beside me.

"Just checking on you and my grandchild, princess," he said, his voice soft.

I rubbed my flat belly, smiling. "We're doing great."

We fell into an easy conversation until he dropped a bombshell. "I'm leaving Spain tonight, princess."

My brows furrowed. "Why?"

"I'm picking up Sarah in Seattle, then we're heading to Hong Kong. Sierra's dying to visit," he explained.

I nodded, a pang of sadness hitting me. "Okay, Dad."

"If I don't hear about the big surprise tonight, call me right away," he said, a mischievous grin spreading across his face.

"Surprise?" I raised a brow. "What surprise? Is it someone's birthday?"

He chuckled, shaking his head. "Can't tell you, princess. Just be patient."

"Dad, you're scaring me!"

"It's nothing to fear, honey," he said, standing. 

"Trust me."

"You can't just leave like that!" I called, but he was already out the door, his laughter trailing behind.

"Old man," I muttered, annoyed.

Soft footsteps caught my attention, and I turned to see Nikki tiptoeing in, eyeing Astra. 

That explains why she always disappears from her cage.

"Nikki?" She froze, wide-eyed, caught in the act.

"Auntie?" she squeaked, turning to face me.

I beckoned her over, pulling her into my lap. 

"What are you doing, baby?"

"I'm sorry, Auntie. I just wanted to play with Astra," she mumbled, her voice small.

"I don't mind you playing with her, but you need to ask permission, okay? It's not nice to take something without telling anyone."

"Are you mad at me?" Her big eyes searched mine.

I brushed a curl from her face, lifting her chin. 

"Not at all, baby. Just don't do it again, alright?"

She nodded, a shy smile breaking through.

"That's not enough," I teased. "I need a full-blown smile if you want to play with Astra." I tickled her sides, her laughter spilling out like music.

"That's my girl." I kissed her cheek.

"Thank you, Auntie!" She scooped up Astra and darted off, giggling.

^^^^

I lounged on the balcony, a book resting in my hands, the summer sun casting a golden glow despite its heat. 

The gentle lapping of pool waves and the cheerful chirping of birds wove a peaceful symphony around me.

Mamá had just left after her hundredth check-in within the hour, leaving a cool smoothie on the table beside me. Her care warmed my heart, but my thoughts lingered on Raul. He still hadn't returned. 

Either he and Nickolai hadn't spoken, or they were locked in a silent standoff, staring each other down.

I sighed, my chest tight with hope. Please, let them sort this out.

"Angel?" Joanna's voice broke my reverie. I turned to find her standing there, her face etched with unease.

"What's wrong, Jay?"

"C-can I talk to you?" she asked, her voice small. "I can't tell Mia or Mamá—they'd tell my brothers."

My stomach knotted. I hope this isn't something I'll have to keep from Raul.

"Okay," I mumbled, setting my book aside.

She sank onto the chair beside me, taking my hand. 

"Whatever I say, please don't tell Raul or Nikolai." 

Her eyes pleaded, and I nodded hesitantly, wary of the secret.

"I like someone," she blurted, squeezing her eyes shut.

I stayed quiet, waiting for her to continue.

"It's someone you know, Angel," she whispered, her cheeks flushing.

A smile tugged at my lips. I already knew. 

"Luca."

Her eyes widened, shocked glaring in them. "How'd you know?"

"Your blushes around him aren't exactly subtle," I teased gently. "The way you stare when he's not looking? He notices, you know? Besides, it's just Bianco, your brothers, Nikki's dad, and Luca here. It wasn't hard to guess."

She ducked her head, her blush deepening. 

"I need your help, Angel. Luca's playful, smart, funny, but around me, he's so... closed off."

I squeezed her hand. "Luca's never been in a serious relationship, so he's a bit clueless about love. But I know what he wants in a girl."

"What?" she asked, her eyes bright with curiosity.

"Two things: be yourself and be loyal. You're smart, beautiful, bubbly—perfect as you are, Jay. It's okay to be shy around him, but don't pretend to be someone you're not. That goes for Luca or any guy."

She beamed, nodding. "Thank you, Angel."

"One more thing," I added, remembering Jade's crush on Luca. "Find out if he likes someone else."

"I will. Thank you again!" She pecked my cheek and darted off, her steps lighter.