Chapter 88 LORELAI GRAVES
MERRIELYNN.
Emorie had just finished giving me a rundown of all that happened while she was away. She was sprawled across my bed, gesturing wildly as she spoke.
“…and then my mom bought me this dress,” she said, sitting up for a moment to dramatically mimic holding a gown. “Hideous. Like, who buys burgundy for any occasion?”
I gave her a small laugh, shaking my head at how dramatic she was being.
“And that’s not even the worst part. This new maid—Mom insists on rotating them like they’re handbags—cooked with nuts.” She paused for effect, her eyes widening. “Nuts! As if I haven’t been allergic my entire life. So, yeah, my throat closed up, I couldn’t breathe until they jabbed me with the EpiPen, and Mom still thinks it’s ‘not a big deal.’”
I blinked, not knowing how to respond. “That’s…a lot.”
She sighed and flopped back down, staring at me. “Enough about me. What’s going on with you?”
I pulled at the edge of my blanket, twisting the fabric between my fingers. Where would I even start? There was so much to say and I didn’t even know where to start. I’d been waiting for Emorie to return… Didn’t think I’d be so anxious about talking about it.
“Oh, come on, Mere. Surely something interesting happened while I was away.” She propped herself up on one elbow, her eyes studying me, waiting for the big gist.
I let out a breath, avoiding her gaze as I focused on something else. “Okay… so, after the football game, Cormac asked me to meet him.”
Emorie’s eyebrows shot up. “Cormac? Chaos? Finally!” She exclaimed with a smile.
“Yeah.” My cheeks burned as I nodded.
“So what happened?” She asked, rolling on her stomach, fully invested now. “So did he finally declare his undying love? Did IT happen?”
“Neither. We just spoke” My voice came out a little quieter. I swallowed hard and glanced at her. “I was attacked, Em.”
The teasing smirk dropped from her face instantly. “What?”
I nodded as the vivid memory flashed back. “It was… It happened so fast. Someone—I don’t know who—hit me in the head. I could tell someone was following me but I was knocked out before I could get away. Cormac saved me and he brought me to his apartment after.”
Emorie sat up fully and I could see the concern in her face. “Wait, back up. Why would anyone attack you? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine now,” I said quickly, giving her an assuring smile. “And I’ve been fine ever since. My crazy life, huh? Well, Cormac just… he handled everything.”
Em’s mouth opened, then shut, as she stared me. “Okay? What happened at his apartment?”
I hesitated, the heat creeping up my cheeks again. How was I supposed to explain this part? I avoided her eyes and focused on the blanket in my lap. “We… talked for a while. And we ended up—”
I paused, unable to find the right words.
Emorie raised an eyebrow. “Mere. What happened?”
I took a deep breath and whispered, “We kissed.”
Her jaw dropped at that. “You what?”
“And…” I twisted the blanket harder, trying not to react to her own reaction. “More than that. I… gave him a handjob.”
Emorie blinked, speechless for once in her life. Then, slowly, her lips curled into a grin. “Well, well, well. Look at you. Miss inexperienced suddenly getting all handsy.”
“Can you not?” I muttered, rolling my eyes and burying my face in my hands.
Emorie laughed, reaching over to pull my hands away. “No, no, I’m proud of you! But, seriously, what does this mean for you two? Are you, like, a thing now?”
I sighed, leaning back against the wall. “I don’t know. I mean, we didn’t talk about that.”
Emorie’s mouth hung open, and I could tell she was imagining everything before she burst out, “Wait. How far did you go?”
My face burned, and I ducked my head, twisting the corner of my blanket in my hands. “Em…”
“Nope, no way, you are going to tell me everything.” She shifted closer on the bed and I could see the curiosity in her eyes. “Details Mere. Now.”
I sighed, knowing there was no escape. “Well, we uh… kissed.”
“You already mentioned that,” she said, waving her hand impatiently. “What else?”
Biting down my bottom lip, I added, “I… touched him.”
Emorie blinked. “Touched him?”
I nodded, refusing to meet her eyes. “With my hand, down his pants. He was on top of me. I was also naked”
Her jaw dropped, and then she let out a low whistle. “Well, Mere. You are full of surprises.” She smiled brightly. “So, what stopped you from going all the way? Did he—wait, was it you?”
I shook my head quickly, remembering how that evening went. “No, it wasn’t me. I… I asked if he had a condom, and he…just stopped.”
Emorie leaned back, her brow furrowed. “Just stopped?”
“Yeah.”
For a moment, the room was quiet, then Emorie broke the silence. “Why wouldn’t he go all the way? I mean, he’s Chaos after all, so that doesn’t make sense.”
“I don’t know.” I tried not to sound frustrated. Truthfully, I’d been turning the same question over and over in my head since it happened. “But… there’s something else.”
Emorie perked up, tilting her head and waiting for me to speak. I hesitated, but the thought had been pressing on me for a while now so I figured I should share.
“I think… I think Cormac might’ve been in love before,” I told Emorie. “Maybe he still is.”
Her eyes widened. “What makes you think that?”
Instead of just telling her, I leaned over to grab my bag, unzipping the side pocket where I’d hidden the picture I’d grabbed from Cormac’s apartment. My heart raced as I pulled it out and handed it to her.
She took it, studying the photo in silence before asking, “Who is this?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted, trying to shrug it off as not-so-serious. “It was on his dresser. I just… grabbed it.”
Emorie’s gaze flicked between the photo and me. Then, she grinned. “Mere, I don’t want to alarm you, but I think Cormac has a type.”
I frowned, taking the picture back. “What do you mean?”
“Look at her. The build. The skin tone. The hair. Doesn’t she remind you of someone?”
I stared at the photo again, and it didn’t take a while before I realized what Emorie meant. She wasn’t wrong. The girl in the picture was quite similar to me.
Emorie leaned in to have another look. “Just look at her her. You two could almost be sisters.”
I bit my lip, feeling a spike of irrational jealousy.
I hated that I couldn’t see the girl’s face, hated that I was comparing myself to her in ways I didn’t even want to admit. I wondered if she was beautiful. She probably was, I thought again.
And then a sharp guilt hit me. I’d felt this way before—this insecurity, this spite—about his sister, of all people.
I shook my head, pushing the thought away.
Emorie nudged me with her elbow, breaking me out of my thoughts. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” I said, though my voice didn’t sound convincing even to my own ears. “I just… I wish I knew who she was. And why he’s holding on to her.”
“Well,” Emorie said, stretching out on the bed again, “you’ve got two options: ask him about it, or let it eat you alive.”
I groaned, flopping back onto the mattress. “Neither of those sounds appealing.”
She laughed softly. “Welcome to relationships, my friend. They’re a mess.”
I closed my eyes, holding the picture tightly in my hands.
Cormac and I weren’t in a relationship—never had been. So why did I feel this pit in my stomach, like I was stepping into territory I had no right to claim?
Emorie watched me closely before asking, “You want to know more about him, don’t you?”
I stared at her for a moment before answering. “Yes… but it’s not like I can just ask,” I muttered, staring at the photo in my hands.
“Well, lucky for you, I have an idea.”
I glanced up. “Em, no.”
“You don’t even know what I’m going to say yet!”
“I don’t have to. Your ideas always come with strings attached.”
She sat up fully, crossing her legs. “Just listen. There’s this library—super fancy, close to the palace. I’ve heard it has documentation on all the royal families. Maybe even Cormac’s.”
I blinked at her, unsure whether to laugh or roll my eyes. “You want me to snoop through royal archives?”
She waved off my protest. “It’s not snooping. It’s… research. Besides, the best mall in the realm is right next to it. We’ll make a day of it. You can grab some school supplies if you’re too chicken to dig into the archives.”
“I don’t know, Em,” I said in hesitation. “It feels like… a lot.”
“It’s only a lot if we get caught. And we won’t. Come on, Mere. Don’t you want answers? Or at least a cute new sweater?”
I sighed, staring at the photo again. “Fine. But we’re not staying long.”
Emorie clapped her hands together. “That’s the spirit, girl! You won’t regret it.”
\-x-x-
The library was as everything I expected it to be—vaulted ceilings, marble floors, tall shelves that seemed to stretch into infinity and scent of old paper.
Emorie, of course, was already distracted. “Okay, you look for whatever, and I’ll be over here pretending to study while also online shopping. Cool?”
I rolled my eyes. “Thanks for the help.”
“Anytime!” she chirped, flouncing off to a corner table.
I wandered the aisles aimlessly at first, unsure where to start. The royal family section was tucked into a quieter part of the library, and after scanning a few shelves, I finally found a thick leather book with Cormac’s family crest on the cover.
Pulling it down, I settled into a chair and flipped through the pages. The information was dense—political alliances, historical accomplishments. Then, a name caught my eye as i went down the list.
Lorelai Graves.
My brow furrowed as I traced the name back to a photograph on the opposite page. A girl stared back at me—black hair, vivid green eyes identical to Cormac’s.
So this was his sister?
I leaned closer, studying her features. There was something strangely familiar about her, something that tugged at a distant part of my mind. And then, out of nowhere, something hit me.
A flash—so sudden and clear it made me gasp.
I was underwater, struggling to reach the surface. I panicked as I flailed desperately, but then… I saw a hand reaching for me. The face was out of focus at first. I couldn’t tell who it was but when the water rippled, the face came into view. It was her.
Lorelai.
I snapped back to reality with a sharp intake of breath, the book tumbling from my lap and hitting the floor with a thud.
Lorelai.
The name echoed in my mind.
Lorelai... Lorelai...
Like... from my nightmares Lorelai?
I stared at the floor, clutching the armrests of my chair. It had to be a coincidence. It just had to be.
Cormac’s sister wasn’t...
I didn't know her.
Still, all I could feel was unease as I picked up the book, forcing my shaking hands to steady. I slid the book back on to the shelf and stepped away, unable to get get Lorelai’s image out of my head.
I stepped out of the library and spotted Emorie by the coffee counter, flirting and laughing as she leaned in slightly toward the barrister. He was tall, with sandy hair and an easy grin, clearly smitten. Emorie had that natural way of drawing people in and that was something I could never quite manage.
“Em,” I called, cutting into her moment.
She turned to me, a teasing smile still on her lips. “Done already?”
“Yeah.” I answered.
“Alright.” She turned to the guy, giving him a playful wave. “Later, handsome.”
As we walked toward the mall, I tried to focus on anything to regulate the storm inside my head. By the time we entered the massive mall, I’d plastered on a mask of calm. It wasn’t perfect, but Emorie seemed distracted enough not to notice.
“Oh, my God, Mere, look at these!” she squealed, running into a shoe shop and immediately disappearing into an aisle.
“Sure, you go do that,” I muttered, wandering in a different direction.
I turned a corner, glancing half-heartedly at the racks of clothes. Suddenly, I heard a gasp behind me.
“It’s been forever!”
I turned around to see a woman—slightly older, maybe in her mid-thirties—staring at me like she’d just seen a ghost.
I frowned, pointing at myself. “Are you… talking to me?”
The woman tilted her head and smiled warmly. “Of course! It’s been what, two years? Never thought I’d see you here again.”
I blinked, utterly lost. “Sorry, I think you’ve mistaken me for someone else.”
She laughed, shaking her head. “Seriously? You don’t recognize me? After all that time spent in here?”
Now I was certain she was confused.
I took a step closer, trying to place her face but she looked really unfamiliar. “No, I’m sorry… I don’t.”
The woman reached up and tapped the name tag pinned to her chest. “Penny,” she said, as if that explained everything. “I’m the same check out girl that used to work here back when you and Lorelai would come in every weekend. Remember?”
My stomach dropped when she said that. “Lorelai?” I managed, my voice barely above a whisper.
Anna’s expression shifted as she looked at me more closely.
And then her smile faded slowly, but somehow suddenly at the same time, and she glanced around, before lowering her voice and clearing her throat. “Oh, I must’ve… mistaken you for someone else. Sorry about that.” She shurgged, “Please go about your day.”
Before I could say anything else, she scooped up a pile of clothes from a nearby rack and hurried away, leaving me standing there with my heart hammering in my chest.
I watched her leave, feeling the knot in my chest tighten into something almost unbearable.