Chapter 66 ANYTHING BUT THIS
CHAOS.
I couldn’t go through with it.
I frowned under the scorching sun, dark glasses shielding my eyes while my deep frown deepened. I pressed my phone to my ear, my other hand resting on my waist. I leaned against my car as I waited for the person I came to see for a pick-up.
Glancing around, I hated being seen in such a shabby area. But this was the only place I knew I could get what I needed without dragging in people who’d spread the word. It was tough for someone like me to do things discreetly because of my status.
“Come on, pick up,” I muttered under my breath, shifting my weight from one foot to the other. The heat bore down on me, making the air shimmer like a mirage. I could feel the stares of passersby, their eyes on my designer clothes, a stark contrast to the rundown surroundings.
Finally, the line clicked, and a voice crackled through. “Yeah?”
“It's me,” I said, trying to keep my tone steady despite the pounding in my chest. “Where are you?”
“I’m heading down now,” he replied. “Just give a sec.”
I ended the call and leaned against the wall, the rough surface digging into my back. I had to get what I needed to keep myself in check, and I hoped this wouldn’t blow up in my face.
Just as I slipped my phone into my pocket and scanned the street for who I was waiting for, I spotted him approaching, walking casually as if he hadn’t kept me waiting for a minute.
We shook hands, and I felt the weight of the paper bag he slipped into my hand. I felt a rush of relief and anxiety but I maintained a straight face.
“Thanks,” he said, his eyes darting around as if expecting someone to jump out at us.
I nodded, noticing how he kept his head down, adjusting his hoodie from time to time to cover most of his face. Why the heck was he making this look like a very illegal transaction? I thought.
With that, we parted ways, the tension in my chest easing slightly as I tucked the bag under my arm and stepped back into the sunlight, knowing I had what I needed to keep myself in check—at least for now.
I quickly got into my car and sped off, not wanting to be seen in that environment ever again.
I was antsy throughout the drive back to my apartment, my fingers tapping nervously against the steering wheel. Many thoughts raced through my mind as I sped down the highway. I felt a mix of anxiety and determination, with anxiety taking the lead.
I’d done a little research and discovered an elixir that could affect wolves—not shifters, just the wolf. It could weaken me. Weaken me enough to prevent myself from doing something I would regret.
I found dealers who sold the elixir, and that was what I had just purchased. I didn’t care that it was overpriced; I just hoped that it would work.
Once home, I hurriedly scanned my surroundings, looking for the perfect place to hide the bag. I didn’t usually have people over, but Valtor had a knack for snooping through my stuff. The last thing I needed was for him to find the elixir and start asking questions.
My eyes landed on the back of my wardrobe, and I paused, remembering what I kept there. The elixir momentarily slipped from my mind as I reached in and pulled out the thick photo album hidden back there.
Sinking on my bed, I let out a deep breath and dropped the elixir on my side table. I flipped open the album, fingers brushing over the faded pictures, memories flooding back.
“Why do I always come back to this?” I muttered to myself as I lost myself in the past.
I flipped through the photos slowly, taking my time to absorb each moment captured in time. There was a picture of me and Valtor as kids, both of us in swimming trunks at the beach, sandy as hell and grinning like we owned the world. I smiled at the memory before moving on to the next photo.
It was a picture of my mother, her warm smile—a sight I hadn’t seen in a while—radiating beautifully. I studied it longer than the others, feeling a pang of nostalgia before flipping to the next page.
That’s when I saw it—a photo of me and Lorelai. I paused, staring at it for a long moment, the memories rushing back vividly.
I ran a finger over her face in the photo, a sad smile spreading across my lips. Not wanting to dwell on memories that broke my heart, I turned the page again and froze.
The next photo was a picture of me, Lorelai, Valtor, and Merrielynn all together, caught in a moment of laughter.
Again, my thumb brushed over Merrielynn’s face, that bittersweet smile creeping up my lips once more.
I stared at the elixir on the bed, feeling a whole new determination. I couldn’t let myself hurt Merrielynn. I couldn’t let my wolf take over. But the thought of sleeping with her—especially knowing how much she hated me and saw it as a mere duty—made my stomach twist.
With a frustrated growl, I slammed the album shut, the sound echoing in the silence of the room. I reached for the elixir and tore the pack open, my fingers trembling slightly as I sprinkled a bit on my palm.
It was supposed to dissolve in water, but as it touched my skin, a sharp sting shot through me.
I hesitated for a moment, then tossed it into my mouth, grimacing as I swallowed. The burn felt worse than battery acid, searing its way down my throat.
Once the pain subsided, I lay back on the bed, my hand covering my eyes. I could endure this.
I had to endure this—anything to avoid taking what Merrielynn truly didn’t want to offer.