Chapter 64 UNDERNEATH THE SURFACE
MERRIELYNN.
I woke up to the blaring sound of my alarm, the morning light creeping through the curtains.
It felt like the next day had come way too early.
I rolled over, burying my face in the pillow, wishing for just a few more minutes of sleep.
But the thought of the message from yesterday lingered in my mind.
My heart raced at the memory, and I quickly jumped out of bed.
I couldn't help but feel a broken type of anticipation as I went about my day, thinking about how it was all going to go down.
Pondering it.
Worrying about it.
Hours passed though.
From time to time, I would glance at my phone, checking to see if Cormac had texted, but the morning was almost over, yet there was nothing yet.
“Now he’s going to make me wait?” I murmured in frustration.
I already felt stupid enough waiting around for a call from Cormac just because of what we had to do. It was crazy.
But the actual reality of it felt oddly erotic.
When the text didn't come by noon, I decided to go over to Emorie’s room. I needed a distraction. When I arrived at her door, I knocked and pushed the door open to find her engrossed with something on her phone.
“Hey,” I called softly with my head poking inside.
“Mere!” Em called with a grin. “Just who I was thinking about. Come on in.”
I entered the room and joined Emorie, who was sitting on her bed, and trust her to notice my mood; she was looking me over.
“Is everything okay?” she asked with concerned eyes.
“Yeah, just... waiting on something,” I replied, trying to brush it off.
Of course, I was fine.
I was definitely peachy and my mood wasn’t lessened at all because I was so not waiting for a text from Cormac to meet up and have sex.
Not. At. All.
We chatted about other things, but my mind kept drifting back to the text. As the minutes ticked by, the anticipation gnawed at me, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was just waiting for something that might not happen.
We even went out to a café, and when the day was almost over, there was still no new notification.
I caught Emorie watching me a couple of times, but I didn’t even know how to tell her what was bothering me.
As we sipped our drinks, Emorie suddenly leaned in, her voice dropping to a whisper. “So, wasn’t your little arrangement with Chaos supposed to be this weekend?” she asked, a teasing glint in her eye.
I felt my heart race a little at the mention of it. “I... I don’t know. We never actually fixed a date,” I quickly replied, trying to sound casual, but I could hear the uncertainty in my own voice.
Emorie raised an eyebrow, just watching me.
“I guess I’ll just have to wait,” I said, shrugging.
The hours dragged on, filled with studying and a growing sense of boredom.
At one point, we returned to the dorms and I tried on the new lingerie I had bought, hoping it might distract me, but all it did was remind me of the anticipation that was slowly turning into frustration.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I couldn’t take it anymore. I walked over to Emorie, who was still engrossed in her phone. “Hey, can I show you something?” I asked, pulling out my phone.
“What’s up?” she replied, looking up with curiosity.
I opened the message from the day before and handed her my phone. “Look, it has to be him. He texted me ‘Tomorrow,’ but he hasn’t gotten back to me since.”
Emorie took the phone, her eyes scanning the screen. “Wow, that’s... pretty vague,” she said, handing it back. “Are you sure it’s him?”
“Who else would it be?” I said trying to hide how frustrated I really felt. “It’s obviously Cormac. But why isn’t he texting me? It’s like he’s just playing games.”
“Maybe he thought it through and changed his mind?” Emorie suggested, trying to be optimistic.
“Yeah, maybe,” I muttered, feeling a mix of annoyance and confusion. Why would that happen with the situation at hand though?
“There’s also the possibility that he wants you to reach out first,” Emorie added with a tilt of her head.
Right. She had a point. I mean, this was Cormac we were dealing with here. I sighed, staring at my phone. “I do not want to be the one chasing after him,” I said quietly.
“Then we wait,” Emorie said with a smile as she turned her attention back to her phone.
But in the back of my mind, I couldn't shake the possibility that something might have happened to Cormac.
He hadn't looked so great the last time I saw him, and the thought that he could be in worse shape now… worried me.
But it had to only be because to an extent… I put him in this situation.
The day was finally over and that text did not come.
I decided to return to my own room while trying to push aside all thoughts of Cormac.
“He’s fine,” I told myself, slamming the door shut behind me. “He’s absolutely fine, but just decided to blow me off. That’s what happened,” I added to convince myself, throwing my phone on my bed in annoyance.
But why? I wondered as I took my clothes off.
I knew that this whole situation was taking a physical toll on him at the moment, so why would he suddenly change his mind?
Just having these thoughts upset me, and worse, I hated how much it affected me.
As I stepped under the shower, the warm water cascaded over me, and I let it beat down on my face.
I let out a sigh, trying to push away the doubts that clouded my thoughts.
“I just wanted to get it over with,” I whispered to myself.
But as I closed my eyes, the rush of water drowning out the world around me, a different question surfaced.
Was that really it?
Or, deep down, was I actually looking forward to having sex with Cormac?