Chapter 36 LIFELESS AND COLD
MERRIELYNN.
I fiddled with the strap of my bag as Emorie leaned closer across the lunch table, waiting for me to explain why I’d been so tense.
My fork hovered above my plate as I debated how much I wanted to tell her, but there wasn’t much point in keeping it to myself. She’d pry it out of me eventually.
“So,” I began reluctantly, “Cormac said he’d help with the moonstone.”
Emorie’s eyes widened, a bright smile lighting up her face. “Really? That’s great! I knew he’d—wait.” Her smile faltered. “What’s the catch? Don’t tell me he just agreed out of the kindness of his heart.”
I sighed, stabbing my food half-heartedly. “He agreed. But there’s a condition.”
Her brows furrowed. “What kind of condition?”
I shifted uncomfortably, finally meeting her gaze. “I have to sit with him every day at lunch for a week.”
For a moment, she just blinked at me, as if waiting for me to say I was joking. When it became clear I wasn’t, her lips parted in disbelief.
“That’s… weird,” she said slowly. “Why would he even ask for that?”
“I have no idea.” I shook my head. “But it’s Cormac. He doesn’t do anything without some kind of hidden motive.”
Emorie studied me closely, then leaned back with an amused smirk. “You’re right. That’s really weird. Almost like he’s trying to make a point.”
“To who?” I asked, exasperated. “This whole mate thing is already messy enough without him pulling stunts like this.”
Her eyes sparkled with curiosity. “Messy? Mere, you’ve been holding out on me. What’s going on between you two? And don’t give me the generic ‘it’s complicated’ line. I want details.”
I rolled my eyes. “There’s nothing to tell, Em. You already know about the… whatever this is,” I said, gesturing vaguely. “Cormac is Cormac, and I’m me. That’s all there is to it.”
“But you’re his mate,” she pointed out, leaning closer. “Doesn’t that mean he’s supposed to, I don’t know, be nice to you? Or protective? Or something?”
“Not in the way you’re thinking,” I muttered. “Besides, you’ve seen him. Cormac isn’t exactly the hearts-and-flowers type. He’s complicated.”
“Complicated how?” she pressed.
I hesitated, fiddling with the pendant around my neck. “He does things sometimes… things that make no sense.”
Like this necklace.
I held it up, letting the small pendant dangle in the light.
He got it back from Valtor, but I never told him what it meant to me.
I’m not even sure I know what it means to me. I left it behind at the foster home, but then I went back for it as soon as I could.
Emorie frowned thoughtfully. “That’s… interesting.”
“Don’t read into it,” I warned her. “He’s still the same stubborn, impossible—”
“Hey!” A familiar voice cut in, and we both turned to see Tobias approaching, his tray balanced expertly in one hand.
“Tobes!” Emorie greeted him with a grin. “What’s up?”
“Not much,” he said, sliding into the seat beside her. His eyes flickered to me for a second before he focused on his food. “There’s a small thing happening at the beach tonight. You should come.”
Emorie raised an eyebrow. “A small thing? Define small.”
“Nothing like the party at Valtor’s,” Tobias said quickly, grimacing. “Just a few of us hanging out. No loud music, no drama.”
Tobias didn’t seem to like Valtor’s person.
I wondered about it.
From what I remembered, Valtor and Tobias were from the same pack, but Valtor was a rank higher than him. Valtor was the Alpha heir, but Tobias was also set to inherit the beta title.
I wondered if they had some sort of history that ran deep.
Emorie nudged me under the table, her grin widening. “What do you think, Mere?”
I hesitated. “I’m not sure. I’ve got a lot of schoolwork to catch up on.”
Tobias looked up then, offering me a small, almost shy smile. “You don’t have to stay long. Just swing by for a bit.”
The way he looked at me made my stomach flip, but I quickly dismissed it. “I’ll think about it,” I said, returning his smile.
“Cool.” Tobias stood, picking up his tray. “Hope to see you there.”
As soon as he was out of earshot, Emorie turned to me with a smug look. “He totally likes you.”
I stared at her, incredulous. “You’re insane.”
“I’m right,” she sing-songed, gathering her tray. “One thousand percent right.”
I shook my head, but her words stuck with me as I walked to my next class.
When I opened my locker to grab my books, a small piece of paper fluttered out. I picked it up, turning it over to find two simple words written in neat handwriting:
‘Please, show up’.
A soft smile tugged at my lips. Was it from Tobias? It had to be. I tucked the note into my pocket, shutting my locker and heading down the busy hallway.
Rounding the corner, I stopped short when I saw Cormac leaning against the wall, arms crossed and his green eyes dark, and fixed on me. My heart jumped, and I quickly looked away, pretending not to notice him. But his presence lingered, heavy and unsettling, even as I walked past.
How long had he been staring?
\-x-x-
That evening, I sat in Emorie’s car, staring at the crowd gathered on the beach. The firelight flickered in the distance, casting long shadows across the sand.
“This is so not a small crowd,” I mumbled.
Emorie winced, gripping the steering wheel. “Okay, maybe it’s not tiny, but it’s not huge either. Do you want to leave?”
I scanned the crowd, searching for a particular lycan prince. My eyes flitted over laughing faces, warm bonfires, and groups of people chatting. Finally, I sighed. “We’re already here.”
We stepped out of the car, and Tobias spotted us almost immediately. His face lit up as he waved us over, leading us to a small circle of people near one of the bonfires. He introduced us to his friends, and I was surprised to find myself relaxing as the evening went on. We talked, laughed, and even joined a casual game of cards.
The beach air was warm, carrying the salty scent of the ocean as the music played softly in the background. I held a drink in my hand, mostly untouched, while Emorie chatted effortlessly with Tobias and his friends. She was in her element, laughing and making jokes.
I felt a little out of place at first, unsure what to say to these strangers, but the longer we stood there, the more comfortable I became. The people were kind, nothing like the chaos of Valtor’s party. They asked polite questions about school and didn’t push me to talk if I didn’t want to.
Tobias stayed close, occasionally glancing at me, his smile warm and friendly. It made me nervous at first, but he didn’t press for attention. Emorie teased him here and there, and I could tell he was trying not to blush when she mentioned something about the last football game.
For a while, I almost forgot about the tension I’d been carrying around for weeks. The drinks, the soft laughter, and the ocean breeze wrapped around me, making everything feel lighter.
Then Emorie turned to me, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “Come on,” she said, grabbing my hand.
“Where?” I asked, confused.
“The water!” she said, already pulling me toward the shoreline.
“I don’t think—”
“Oh, stop being boring,” she teased, tugging harder. “It’ll be fun!”
I didn’t have much choice as she dragged me along, her laughter contagious. We hit the wet sand, and before I knew it, we were running into the waves.
“Emorie, wait!” I called, trying to keep up.
She just laughed, splashing into the water without hesitation. I followed reluctantly, wincing as the cold ocean soaked my clothes. Emorie was already ahead of me, waist-deep, waving me over.
“Come on, Mere!” she shouted, her voice loud over the sound of the waves.
I hesitated, the water swirling around my ankles. But Emorie was already rushing back, grabbing my arm again.
“You’re so slow!” she laughed, pulling me further in.
I stumbled as the water reached my knees, then my thighs. The waves pushed against me, unsteady and strong.
“Emorie, wait—”
But she didn’t. She kept pulling, and suddenly, the ground beneath me disappeared.
I slipped.
The water swallowed me whole, cold and heavy.
Panic hit me instantly. My chest tightened, and my arms flailed as I tried to find the surface. The water was everywhere, pressing in from all sides, muffling the sounds above.
I couldn’t breathe.
Images flashed in my mind. Glass shattering. A rush of water filling a room. Voices—no, a voice—calling a name.
“Lorelai!”
The name echoed in my head, louder and louder.
It wasn’t my name.
I opened my eyes, but the water burned. In the murky depths, I saw her. The girl from my nightmares.
Her wide, green eyes stared back at me, lifeless and cold.
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe.
My chest burned, the need for air overwhelming. My lungs screamed, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t break the surface.
This was it.
This was how I would—
Strong hands grabbed me, yanking me upward.
The air hit my face as I was pulled out of the water, and I gasped, choking and coughing as I clung to the person holding me. My vision was blurry, but I could hear voices now, sharp and panicked.
“Mere! Oh goddess, Mere!”
It was Emorie’s voice.
I blinked hard, trying to focus. Tobias was there, his arms strong and steady as he carried me toward the shore. My chest heaved as I clung to him, my fingers digging into his shirt.
It felt like I’d been deprived of oxygen enough that my body was scared to take a deep breath in.
But I needed it.
I just couldn’t.
“Breathe,” Tobias said softly. “You’re okay now. Just breathe.”
I tried, but my lungs felt tight, like they were still full of water. My head spun, and I couldn’t stop shaking.
“I’m so sorry,” Emorie kept saying, her voice full of guilt. “I didn’t know—I didn’t mean to—”
I couldn’t answer her. The nightmare still clung to me, the image of those green eyes burned into my mind.
Tobias set me down gently on the sand, but I couldn’t stop trembling. My breaths came in sharp gasps as I hugged my knees to my chest, trying to calm down.
“It’s okay,” Tobias said again, his voice calm and soothing. “You’re safe now. Just focus on breathing.”
I tried to listen to him, to ground myself in the sound of his voice. This wasn’t real. The nightmares couldn’t hurt me.
But the memory of drowning, of seeing her, felt too real.
I glanced around, my cheeks burning as I realized people were staring. Groups of partygoers stood on the sand, watching me with curious and concerned expressions. I felt my stomach drop.
Everyone saw.
The weight of their gazes made my chest tighten again, and tears welled up in my eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, burying my face against Tobias’ chest. The tears came fast, hot and uncontrollable, and I couldn’t stop them.
Tobias said firmly, his hand resting gently on my back. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”
Emorie crouched beside me, her voice soft and full of regret. “Mere, I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
I shook my head, unable to respond.
Tobias helped me up, keeping a steady arm around me as Emorie grabbed her keys. “Let’s get you out of here,” she said, her tone determined.
I didn’t argue. I couldn’t.
The ride back was quiet. I stared out the window, my wet clothes clinging to me uncomfortably. The tears had stopped, but the ache in my chest remained.
It wasn’t real, I told myself over and over. It wasn’t real.
But deep down, I wasn’t so sure.