Chapter 11 BROKEN PRETENSE
CHAOS.
I usually thrived on the high of a win, but today felt different.
Football was everything to me; it was the one arena where I could truly be myself, free from the expectations and benefits that came with being Killian Grave’s son.
I ripped off my jersey, feeling the cool air hit my skin.
Football was real. It was the one thing I worked for, the one thing I earned. Nobody could take that from me, not even my last name.
Running a hand through my damp hair, I tried to shake off the feeling. My teammates were hitting the showers or lounging around, still buzzing from the victory. I really wanted to celebrate as much as I usually did, but I just wasn’t feeling the usual excitement. The cheers from the crowd usually filled me with adrenaline, but they felt distant earlier, almost muted.
Perhaps it was because of the headmaster’s punishment.
“Good game, man,” Tiernan, our goalie, slapped me on the back as he passed. I nodded, but I didn’t feel like celebrating.
Normally, I would’ve been right there with them, soaking up the win, but not today.
Today, all I could think about was how things were slipping out of my control.
I was aware that this was my last game for a while, and while others celebrated, I felt a growing sense of loss—not just of the game but of control over my life. The cheers around me felt distant, like echoes of a reality I was slowly being pushed away from. The thrill of the win was overshadowed by the realization that my grip on everything I once knew was slipping away.
And maybe it was because I was trying to control not just what was going on around me in particular, but also what was going on around Merrielynn.
I've been trying to ignore her presence, but somehow she always managed to capture my attention and occupy my thoughts.
The object of my sour mood suddenly walked into the locker room, dressed in a full tracksuit since he didn’t get to play today.
A spike of irritation ran through me as I locked eyes with Valtor.
I turned away, grabbed a towel, and decided to let off some steam by taking a cold shower.
I could feel his eyes on me as I walked, and I sensed he had something to say. I just hoped he’d reconsider before I got out of the shower.
I was in no mood for any kind of confrontation.
As the water poured over me, I sighed, allowing the cold to wash away the tension brewing inside me. I needed this moment of solitude to gather my thoughts and brace myself for whatever was waiting outside.
I wondered how I was going to handle Valtor and Merrielynn interacting.
It was going to be a problem.
I knew Valtor remembered her, fuck. It had only been two years. Of course, he did.
It was one thing that the fucker hadn’t brought it up to me, but I couldn’t blame him.
Valtor knew I remembered her too, but I hadn’t yet brought up her name to him.
And in turn, he didn’t ask, push, or bring her up either. Not even after the chaotic assembly I pulled off weeks ago.
I had gotten myself to believe that Valtor didn’t care that Merrielynn suddenly resurfaced. But part of me knew better. With everything that happened two years ago, I definitely knew better.
“Fuck” I sighed, lifting my head and allowing the water beat down on my face.
I had told myself it was only a matter of time. But mid-game, I saw her shaking his hand. Meaning he had introduced himself to her.
What else had he said to her?
Truth is, I didn’t know how I felt about that.
In fact, I did.
I didn’t like it, not one bit.
By the time I got out of the shower, the locker room had mostly cleared out. A few guys were still in the showers, and I could hear some laughing in the hall. But it was quiet enough that I noticed Valtor leaning against the wall, watching me as I dried off.
I dropped my towel to the floor, standing buck-ass naked, and couldn’t help but throw out, “Take a picture. It’ll last longer.”
He didn’t say anything, just kept watching me as I put on some briefs and sweatpants. There was a long silence before he finally spoke.
“Up close, she doesn’t look any different,” he finally said, and I felt my chest tighten.
I didn’t want to respond.
“Don’t you think—” he started, but I cut him off, the frustration boiling over.
“I don’t want to talk about her,” I said point blankly. And that was the truth.
I didn’t want to.
Not with Valtor.
Not with anyone.
I couldn’t let Merrielynn’s reappearance wedge a rift between Valtor and I either. Exasperated, I ran a hand through my hair, and spat, “She isn’t worth it.”
But Valtor narrowed his eyes, disbelief etched across his face, as he shot back, “Not worth it enough for the stunt you pulled last week?”
His words sounded heavy with accusation but I decided to ignore him.
I pulled a shirt over my head, the fabric brushing against my skin as I pondered his words. There was a truth in them that stung, but I pushed it aside.
Grabbing my duffel bag, I walked toward the door, tossing over my shoulder, “I’m craving tacos, you coming?”
I didn’t wait for his response; I just needed to get out of there, to clear my head.
I tossed the duffel into the backseat of my new range rover, and got into the driver’s seat. I began tapping my fingers on the wheel, the rhythm a distraction from my troubled thoughts.
I waited, the silence stretching out, and then the passenger door opened.
Valtor got in, and I felt a wave of relief wash over me.
We were good.
I intended to keep things that way. Even as my mind drifted back to Merrielynn.
I had no intention of letting up on my plans for her, but Valtor didn’t need to know that.
Valtor didn’t need to know everything.
He didn’t need to know how much I still thought about her, how much seeing her again had stirred up.
Yeah, I wasn’t done with her.
Not by a long shot.
In fact, I’d barely even begun.
“Let’s hit up that taco place on Fifth,” I said with a grin, shifting the car into gear, the engine coming to life.
The truth was, I needed the distraction.
Because no matter how much I told myself I was in control, I wasn’t sure how long I could keep pretending like everything was fine.