Chapter 86 The Benefit

Chapter 86 The Benefit
Auren's pov
I shake my head, staring down at my tightly clutched hands. "It's nothing..."

I still can’t explain how I feel inside. I feel like something in my chest is trying to tear apart. And on top of the possibility that I might die, If Alpha Dravik has an heir already, he will surely send me away once he realizes I’m a deadweight.

I’m useless to him, only full of endless trouble and baggage.

I’m a monster for chrissake.
I try to blink back the tears that wants to come

"If Dravik had an issue with you being a Lycan, you wouldn’t be sitting here, Auren," Brandon says.

Okay, I really need to know if they can all hear my thoughts.

"Am I….going to die?" I ask, trying to change the subject before my tears start falling.

"Hopefully not.” He leans back against his chair. "If you haven’t died since then from binding, I doubt you will now. The binding didn’t kill you the third time because you’re different and stronger, just like Xavier said."

"You believe him?" 

"I believe what I see with my own eyes," he offers me a smile. "When I first saw you brought into our pack, I wondered how you were even alive. You were nothing more than skin and bones, your face was horribly gaunt, and your arms looked like tiny twigs that could snap at any time. Even your heartbeat was slow." His eyes move over me. “But look at you sitting here now."

"I’m still very small," I whisper.

I am in comparison to the other women I have seen in the pack. 

"What I’m saying is that you shouldn’t have even survived the journey here from Silverveil, yet you somehow did.”

"Because I’m a Lycan?" 

"Maybe," he muses, tilting his head. "Or maybe because you were fighting to be with your fated mate, or because you have a much stronger thirst for life than you believe you have. Maybe you survived because you’re something rare that this world still needs, and I do believe in destiny."

A snort leaves my nose. "Xavier got into your head.”

He chuckles. "Maybe he just opened my eyes to the bigger picture."

"What do you mean by that?" 

"We wolves have been pretty closed off, stubbornly believing there isn't much more than humans and wolves out there," he admits. "But finding your kind will help us be more open-minded so we wouldn’t be surprised when something else makes an appearance. I’m just angry that we were stupid and didn’t research first when we stumbled across your pack, entering into that peace agreement blind. If not for Dravik’s taste for revenge and..." He stops, eyeing me "...his interest in you too."

I frown. Alpha Dravik had mentioned taking me first just to get revenge on Marcus, not because he was interested in me.

"You…you blame me?”.

"You? Goddess no!" He shakes his head. "I enjoy a good war. I don’t give a shit how it comes about."

I shift in my seat uncomfortably, pulling my knees up toward my chest. A war is the last thing I want on my conscience.

"Would you like to speak to Xavier again? I can take you to him right now."

"Alpha Dravik won’t like that," I murmur.

"He actually suggested it himself," He stands, heading to the counter where several covered dishes are laid out. "Come eat first, though. If you pass out from hunger, Dravik will have my head.”

Alpha Dravik still hadn't returned by the time I finished eating and we walked to the dungeon. It made me nervous. After he had forced our closeness, now he’s keeping a distance. Is it because of what Cassandra said? He had never wanted me to leave his side before till she came back. I clench my hands as that feeling starts again. 

That feeling to hurt her.

"Yayyy! My favorite visitor!" Xavier smiles at me the moment I step in front of his cell. "Didn’t think you would come back again after last time.” he approaches the bar, turning to Brandon with a wider grin. "Don’t worry, you’re still my favorite." His eyes scan the dim corridor behind us. "No Alpha Dravik guarding your hip today?"

I just stare at him, not knowing what I wanted to say or ask him. I don’t know why I agreed to come down here in the first place, when the truth is I just wanted Alpha Dravik to be holding me and telling me that what Cassandra said was a lie. 

"I know you didn’t come here just to stare at me, Auren," Xavier says. "You have questions."

"I was... bound five times," I whisper.

"Tsk. That’s not really a question, sister.”

"Is it true it should have killed me?" 

I see him swallow, his expression shifting as he turns his face to Brandon and then back to me. "To tell you the truth, that many bindings shouldn’t have been possible, and it would have killed anyone else. So maybe Marcus hoped you would die from it."

"If they wanted her dead, why not just kill her outright?" Brandon asks from behind me, leaning against the wall.

"I don’t know," Xavier says, running a hand through his hair. "It’s still confusing and I’m still trying to figure it out myself. Because if she was a threat to him, he should have just killed her. That’s what Alpha Dravik would have done, hell, that’s what I would have done, so there must have been some kind of benefit he was getting from keeping her alive."

"We all know it can’t be because she’s an Alpha, because he wants that title for himself," Brandon muses. "So why keep her alive through five bindings?"

The woody scent of Alpha Dravik reaches me and I turn around quickly to see him standing at the base of the staircase.

"You’re right.” His silver eyes locks onto mine. "He kept her alive because she’s able to carry the next Alpha."