It's been a week since it all happened. I didn’t leave the house and I just stayed in Umami’s room. In the previous days, I did nothing but cry and cry but I think my tears were gone and no one wanted to come out.
Every day I just send Dane an ‘OK’ message to let her know I’m still alive and doing nothing wrong to myself. I just made Umami's room a shelter to somehow ease my heart even though I was still hurting.
My system still can’t accept that I’m alone. I expected Margot to come home here but she didn’t. Blaze's message me that she was out the other day and she went straight to Maggie's house. I wanted to go to her but Blaze told me it wasn't time yet.
I heard the doorbell ring but I had no intention of standing up. But it was followed by a loud rattle so I woke up to open it and find out who was outside.
"What are you doing here?" Zeus, Phoenix, and Blaze carry plastic.
"We let you alone for a week and that's enough for you to think so we're here to cause trouble. Maggie told me to go see you and you might be dead so I brought the two of them here." That woman still has a heart somehow but I would be happier if she brought her sister home to me.
"I said goodbye to Hailey and she agreed to come to you. She said cheer up."
"I'm single so it's ok anywhere I go, sucker."
I sat on the sofa and they followed me.
"You haven't taken a bath for a few days, you still stink."
"I took a shower the other day, Blaze."
"Eat up, we brought you something." Zeus dropped the plastic in front of me. "Even if you're stupid and confused you still need to eat."
"I have no appetite." I didn’t hear anything from them so I leaned my back on the sofa and closed my eyes. I heard the bottle open and when I open my eyes it there was whiskey on the table. Zeus nodded and give us one by one.
"Jace," It's Phoenix holding my shoulder and sitting next to me. "We can't say that's ok, because it's not ok to lose a child. But you can get through that too."
"Believe me when I said that I understand you, Jace. When I found out that Maggie was pregnant and the baby is gone, I am so terrible. But no, whatever regrets we did nothing has happened and we can't go back."
"Would you be angry if I will be honest to you? I know this is not the right time to be an ass, but I guess this is the best time." I looked at Zeus when he poured again. "We're friends, more than friends, we're a brother here that we never had, and I want you to give you an honest opinion."
"Spill it, Zeus," I said.
"Be a man, Jace."
"What do you mean?"
"Don't get mad at me. But amongst the four of us, you're immature."
"Ouch," Blaze and Phoenix said at once.
"Then tell me how to be a man, Zeus," I said sarcastically then drink. "Coming from you until now who bedded different women."
"Coming from you, also, bedded, I promised nothing to them so I have no responsibility. See, Jace, being a man is to stand on your responsibility and face the consequences of your actions. Neither of them you have."
"Do you think isn't it still standing up to responsibility what I did that I married Margot? I stood up my son to her."
"But it's against your will and you still feel for Brianna."
"I want that marriage and I'm not just forced, Zeus."
"See, sucker, what I'm trying to say is that when you married Margot you stood up for good and you let go of Brianna or you would have confronted Margot with your true feelings for her and you stays with Brianna. But, you became selfish and you both claimed them that you knew someday, eventually, you would hurt them both. And now that you have been burned by your own fire, you will sulk? Feel the pain and embrace the consequences. If you know what I mean."
I felt like I was punched with ten fists because of what Zeus said. Yes, I'm wrong, but ----- am I that selfish of what I did? But he was wrong when he said that it was against my will to get married. Wouldn’t I be stupid to tie myself up if I wasn’t sure of Margot? But I will not correct him in his beliefs. I let them believe because I know myself. Another is that they are right that what I did is selfish because I put them together knowing that one of them will really be hurt in the end. And now ---- not just one, not just two, but three of us are hurt because of what happened.
"You're below the belt, Zeus, Jace is still mourning."
"We're buddies, Phoenix. It really hurts to hear the truth. As a saying goes by 'truth hurts' so if Jace is affected by my words that means he knows what I said is true."
"I know you're still mourning, Jace, but Zeus is right."
"You too, Blaze?"
"Yup, Phoenix." Phoenix was slapped on the forehead and then shaken.
"I thought that's why we're here to help Jace and then you'll just make him face his mistake."
"No we're not, no I'm not, sucker. What I am trying to say is he have to be a man to accept the consequences of his actions. See, Jace, we cannot resurgence what happened. But you can fix yourself and face Margot as a new you. Show her that you regretted what happened by fixing yourself and you're worthy enough to be her man again. Well, IF you want her back. Mourning, crying, and repenting the whole day, week, month, or even a year won't help you. "
"I am sorry, Jace, but I agree," Blaze said.
"I'm sorry too, Jace, but I second the motion," Phoenix seconded.
"I don't know how to start. She really doesn't want to talk to me. Instead of confronting me and coming home so we can talk, she chose to go to her sister."
"Leave her alone for a few months, Jace. One month or two for her to recover. It's just that her condition is really dangerous so she shouldn't be stressed and maybe something else will happen to her. Maggie and I are taking care of her."
"As of now, focus on yourself, sucker. As I said, be a man first. This is the right time to show her that you change. What happened will serve you a lesson to be responsible for your actions. Being an ass is different from being a man. "
I'm speechless. Truth really hurts. It hurts to lose a child but Zeus is right. I can't undo what happened. Umami has disappeared from me and it seems ----- I don't think I can handle if Margot also disappears.
Yes, I made a mistake but maybe I still deserve a second chance. I still deserve to get my wife back and be with her.