Believed myself

Believed myself
DYLAN’S POINT OF VIEW

The restaurant was too perfect.....Everything about it felt like it had been designed for this exact moment, yeah made that happen,the soft golden lighting hanging from above, the quiet hum of conversations blending into the background, the faint sound of piano music drifting through the air like something out of a movie I didn’t deserve to be in.And then there was her.Violet.

Sitting across from me, looking like she had walked straight out of a dream I wasn’t ready to wake up from.For a second just a second I forgot everything else,The pressure.The truth sitting at the back of my throat like something sharp and dangerous Because she smiled.

And it wasn’t just a normal smile....It was soft. Real. Unguarded.The kind of smile that said she trusted me and My chest tightened instantly.......God,I hated myself for that.

“You’re staring again,” she said lightly, tilting her head just a little, her lips curving into something playful and I blinked, snapping out of it.

“I’m not staring.”

“You are,” she said, raising an eyebrow.I leaned back slightly, trying to play it off.

“Can you blame me?”i muttered and She rolled her eyes, but there was a small laugh that followed.And just like that, the tension eased.....at least for her.Not for me....i mean Never for me.

Because while she was relaxed, smiling, enjoying the moment…I was counting seconds,Counting opportunities,Counting how many times I could open my mouth and still fail to say what needed to be said.

Dinner came,We talked,About random things,School,Prom,Her mom’s wedding.Small, easy conversations that should have felt normal but didn’t.Not when every word I said felt like I was building something on borrowed time.

“You’ve been quiet,” she said at some point, her voice softer now, more observant and I looked up.

“I have?”

“Yes.” She studied me carefully.

“It’s not like you.”she said and I forced a small smile.

“Maybe I’m just enjoying the view.”i said and She rolled her eyes again, but this time her cheeks tinted slightly pink.And again
That feeling hit me.That sharp, painful twist in my chest.Because she believed me.Every time,This was it.

I couldn’t keep doing this,I couldn’t sit here and pretend everything was fine when it wasn’t.I leaned forward slightly, resting my elbows on the table. I have to do this,

“Violet…”i finally muttered and Her eyes lifted to mine immediately,Soft.......Waiting.

And just like that.....My heartbeat spiked,Loud,Fast and Relentless.

“I need to tell you something,” I said.There it was.The beginning.The line I had been trying to cross all night.She didn’t look scared.She didn’t look worried.If anything.....She looked curious.

“Okay…” she said gently.

“It’s about… us.”The words felt heavier the moment they left my mouth.Her expression softened even more.A small smile forming like she thought she knew where this was going.Like this was something good.Something safe.
God.I was about to ruin that.

“I.......”

“Excuse me,” a voice cut in and I froze.The waiter,Of course.

“Would you like dessert?” he asked politely and I closed my eyes for half a second.
Just one second.Trying to hold onto what I was about to say,Trying not to lose it.
Violet glanced at me.Then back at him.

“Oh.......um… I don’t know,” she said, a little distracted.

“Maybe later?”she said and The waiter nodded.

“Of course.”And just like that......The moment shifted.Gone.Completely gone.I leaned back slowly.Exhaling,The tension didn’t disappear......It just… changed.Now it felt heavier,More complicated,Because I had been right there, right there.

And I didn’t say it,I didn’t finish it.....I let it slip Again.

“You were saying something,” Violet said softly, bringing my attention back to her.Her eyes searched mine.Just say it my mind screamed while My fingers curled slightly against the table.

My throat tightened while Everything inside me screamed to just get it over with.....To tell her.To stop this before it got worse.

But then.....That thought hit me.Clear,Sharp,Unavoidable.What happens after you say it?Her smile disappearing,Her eyes changing,The way she would look at me.....Not with warmth,Not with trust.
But with hurt,With betrayal.

With something I wouldn’t be able to fix.
My chest tightened,I couldn’t breathe properly for a second.

“I was just…” I started.And then
I stopped Cowardly.

“I was just saying…” I forced a small laugh.

“That… prom is going to be crazy.”i said and The silence that followed was subtle But it was there.......She noticed,Of course she did
Violet wasn’t stupid.

But she didn’t push,Didn’t question it.She just smiled again,Soft and Gentle.

“Yeah,” she said quietly.

“I think it will be.”And just like that.....She let it go.

That was the worst part,Not the guilt.Not even the lie.It was the fact that she trusted me enough…Not to question me.

We left the restaurant not long after talking about some random things and now The night air was cooler now,Quieter,The world felt slower somehow.

Like everything had calmed down except me.We walked side by side,Close enough that our hands brushed once,Twice.
And then....She slipped her hand into mine,Naturally.Like it belonged there.

I froze for half a second.Then tightened my grip around hers,Because I didn’t deserve this.....But I couldn’t let go either.

“You were really nervous back there,” she said softly after a while and I glanced at her.

“Was I that obvious?”

“A little,” she smiled.

“Why?”she asked and I hesitated Then shrugged slightly.

“Just… a lot on my mind.”i said and She nodded slowly,Not pushing,Never pushing.

“You’ll tell me when you’re ready,” she said.
And that......That right there.....Destroyed me.
Because she believed there was a right time,That I would tell her eventually.

And I had just proven that I wouldn’t.......we got into the car and I first drove her home, We stopped in front of her house.The lights were on inside....Warm,Inviting and She turned to face me.

“Thank you for tonight,” she said.

“I had fun.”she added and I swallowed.

“Me too.”i muttered and She smiled.Then stepped closer......Not rushed......Not awkward.Just… natural,Her hand still in mine,Her eyes locked on mine.And then.....She leaned in,Soft,Slow and Careful.Her lips brushed mine.....Gentle, warm and For a second,Everything else disappeared.

The guilt,The fear,The truth.All of it......Gone.
Because she was here.And she was choosing me.When she pulled back, her smile was softer now.More personal.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” she asked.
I nodded.
“Yeah.”She hesitated for a second.
Then added quietly—l......
“Don’t overthink whatever you were trying to say.”
My chest tightened.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
And that was it.She turned.Walked inside.
And left me standing there....With the truth still stuck in my throat.
I exhaled slowly.
Dragging my hand through my hair.
My chest heavy.
My mind louder than ever.

“Sht I’ll tell her tomorrow,” I muttered to myself.Because I had to......I really did,I couldn’t keep doing this.......I wouldn’t.
But deep down…Even as I said it.....I wasn’t sure if I believed myself anymore.