CHAPTER 23. It’s not for love
**— VITA.**
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I hand Frank a cup of chamomile tea while I sit in the armchair opposite the couch where he is, also with a cup in hand. The heat passing through the porcelain warms the cold and diminishes the tremors in my body that I’m sure were caused by all the chaos that has taken over my life, an overload of intense emotions.
“You still remember,” Frank says, catching my confused eyes. He lifts his cup and adds, with a half-smile, “Chamomile.”
I try to smile, even though the weight under my shoulders and the sudden tiredness prevent me from looking really excited or happy.
“I used to love it when your mother made it.” He finally takes a sip, giving a pleasurable groan as he says, “Yes, that’s definitely how your mother used to do it.”
“This house is full of her memories,” I say slowly, looking at the drink in my hands, the discreet steam rising from it. “Indeed, as if untouched by time.”
“I know what you mean... I also feel like this, looking around, looking at you… But you know, Vita, that’s an illusion.” Frank’s voice draws my eyes again, and I notice that his expression is now stern, “There’s nothing that hasn’t been touched by time.”
“You’re right,” I mutter, feeling my mouth turn bitter — so I take a sip of the tea that moistens my tight throat. “Things change, people change… I changed.”
An uncomfortable silence falls between us, and I suddenly feel uneasy. I drum my fingers on the porcelain, too shy and afraid to look at Frank again.
However, this stillness doesn’t last long because he soon asks, his cautious voice cutting through our silence like a razor, “What happened to you, Vita?”
My chest tightens, my throat constricts, and my eyes sting with tears that remain at the edge of my eyes even though I try to cry them. And I open my lips, but no words escape... So I drink a little more, trying to loosen the knot that prevents me from speaking.
“Talk to me, I’m here now.” He says, leaning his body towards me, even though there is a great distance between our bodies. “You can count on me, Vita.”
Can I? Can I really count on anyone else in this world? Everyone I trusted turned their backs on me and didn’t believe my words, even though I cried and screamed for just a glimpse of faith.
I gave them love and received nothing but mistrust, anger, resentment, and revenge for a sin I didn’t commit. They all blinded themselves and saw me as a terrible person, even though I never gave them any reason to distrust me. And even though I understand that they follow the clues and can’t ignore what the thugs said and all those false clues, I don’t know if I could easily forgive them for abandoning me like that.
So I ask myself, can I really trust Frank?
Honestly, my heart is beating fast and anxious, and I’m afraid of his reaction when he finds out that his childhood friend has been convicted of murder.
“You shouldn’t get involved in this, Frank,” I say at last, running a hand through my hair and brushing it back. “I thought you’d left Loyalland and everything it means behind.”
“I may not be a werewolf like my father, Vita, but I was born in these lands, and I belong to them, even if I’m not a shapeshifter. I was born here; this is my home.”
“I’m not saying that, Frank… I’m not saying that you don’t have the right to be here, to return Loyalland; it’s just that… Things have changed around here.” I give him a sarcastic smile, “Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”
“Of course I did. It seems to me that Black’s Alpha is all-mighty because he’s in charge of the Council’s decisions when it comes to werewolf matters. People just fear him.”
“You’re not wrong about that.” I sigh, looking at the mug in my hands.
“But what about the other races? It seems that not only the werewolves but all seem to fear him in these lands, like a monarch or something. But Loyalland isn’t like that anymore; that’s why they have a Council with all races.”
I look away, annoyed by the subject and Frank’s words — which irritates me deeply, considering that I should be the one who despises Derek the most.
“And you, Vita… you don’t have to fear him, not anymore,” Frank says, catching my attention again. “You’re free now… You don’t need his approval or try so hard to be a good Luna anymore… You’re free.”
Freedom, it’s a funny thing. I may not be locked up, but still… Am I really free?
I shake my head hopelessly, sighing, “You don’t understand... Derek won’t let me go.”
“You don’t owe that man anything anymore, Vita! He chose your step-sister; the engagement between you no longer exists.”
My heart aches because, yes, it’s true, it’s all true, even if I don’t think much of it. Even though I ignored the fact that Wanda and Derek seemed close, nothing changed the fact that they were engaged.
Closing your eyes to reality doesn’t make it an illusion, just as denying a truth doesn’t make it a lie.
“I’m not stuck with Derek because my feelings belong to him, Frank... I’m stuck because he wants me to be.” I sigh and take a sip of the tea that’s starting to cool. “He won’t let me go.”
“He has a different fiancée now.”
“He won’t let me go, and it’s not for love.” I interrupt him with a low voice and resentment in my eyes. “Derek keeps me miserable because he despises me.”
Frank’s eyebrows frown slowly.
“They say I killed someone, Frank.” I close my eyes, afraid of the judgments and of his gaze that will turn cold, but I can’t help confessing my open wound, “They say I killed Alice.”
“That’s absurd,” Frank says without hesitation, and it makes my eyes widen so wide they ache.
“What...”
“I only found out when your trial was decided, and it was on TV. If I’d found out earlier...”
“Wait.” I grip the cup tightly; my voice is desperate and, at the same time, thin and weak. “Did you already know?”
Frank doesn’t say a word.
“Do you... Do you believe me?”
Frank looks at me like I’ve said something absurd, and it makes my heart beat even faster.
“Of course I do, Vita. You would never hurt anyone, let alone Alice. That’s complete nonsense!”
I cover my lips, heavy tears rolling down my cheeks, and close my eyes, with a mixture of relief and happiness and sadness taking over my chest at the same time...
“Why?” It’s everything I manage to say in the midst of the crying, the sobs that I muffle with my trembling hand.
And this question is worth a million other answers that I wish I knew. Why does Frank believe in me? And why only him? Why not everyone else? Why not Derek?
“We’ve known each other since we were kids, Vita. I know you,” Frank says, making me finally look into his eyes, which are shining with restrained tears that he seems to want to cry for me. “Of course, I believe you.”
Frank doesn’t know; he doesn’t even have a clue... But his words were the most precious treasure I could find after everything I’ve been through... And his trust is the best medicine to heal my bruised soul.
That’s why I’ll fight tooth and nail for this glimmer of hope.
Thank you, Frank… I will treasure it with all my being.
[...]
I’m collecting the cups when I look at Frank curiously, remembering that he still hasn’t answered one of my questions...
“Hey, Frank... Why did you come back to Loyalland?”
He looks at me intensely and gives a sincere smile that brings dimples to his face.
“Isn’t that obvious?”
I blink a few times, confused, and then he gets up and slowly takes the cups from my hand, taking the responsibility of washing them.
“I’ve come to do a few things and make it right.” His other hand goes to my hair, his caress messing up the strands, but I don’t dare complain. A little affection is all I need.
“What does that mean?” I mumble, a little embarrassed at not having a precise answer.
“It means I’m on your side.” He withdraws his hand slowly and brings it up to my face, touching it affectionately and bringing warmth to my chest. “You’re not alone anymore, Vita... I’m here now. And if your wish is to find the real culprit behind Alice’s death, I’m going to help you out…”
I’m speechless… Does he really mean it?
I open my mouth to answer him, but Frank pinches my cheek, bringing memories of our childhood…
“You don’t need to worry anymore, Vita… You’re alone anymore.”