Chapter 169 Incomplete
Chapter 169 Incomplete
Shaking, her shoulder tense, failing to meet my gaze with a shaky lip that parted with agony.
“I…”
She hesitated and took a few breaths to gain courage to continue.
“I have made wrong choices all my life, I became scared of my decisions so I... let others decide for me.”
Curling her lips upwards with gloom coating her aura as she expressed what she did probably to punish herself.
“It feels like any step I would take in life would be wrong so I just let things go however they like.”
My mouth gaped in disbelief, tightening my grip as I growled.
“Even if it means being hit by him publicly? Heck, I have never humiliated Saira in public,”
“You are you. I am me. I think I deserve this,”
She laughed a little, lowering her head more to hide the existence of those tears and failed.
“Don’t be ridiculous,”
"You... Don’t know, Zaviyaar." Stop calling my name.
"Know what, Aalifa?" I hissed, “I prayed to Allah every night to get one glimpse of your face and apologize,”
“For what?”
She was shaking, breaths becoming unstable that started to worry me now and hold her softly, moving my thumb across, not knowing when I would gain this privilege again.
Gulping, trying not to cry, she gathered her words and utter so weakly that I could barely understand.
“On my wedding night, I asked Ahmer for one thing. To have one last meeting with you,”
Finally after collecting her posture, she started to tell me but it did nothing but baffle me.
“Why? What is left to talk about when you have signed marriage papers which have another man’s name in it?”
Leaving her unwillingly, I folded my arms at my chest and scoffed to which she broke into a sob along with those words that I only wanted to hear in a dotish fantasy.
“Because I want to apologize for breaking the pride of your love, Zaviyaar,”
Every expression and feeling faded, replaced with an immobilization when she started to cry, covering her mouth as I stared at her in disbelief.
“What…?”
Lowering her hand in shame, she sniffled before joining her hands before me in a begging manner.
“I am sorry, I am so sorry, I have failed as a lover,”
A violent shiver went down my spine as my heart scattered at her one apology.
Everything felt burning, my body felt light yet uncontrollable, I lost myself for a moment.
What the fuck was I supposed to do with this apology!?
“I have failed to love you properly, I failed as a wife, as a partner and now even in loyalty…”
Crying out loud, she fell on her knees, earning a gasp of astonishment from me. Instinctively, I shifted to my knees, holding her shoulder.
“I am so sorry, if at any point of your life, please forgive me. I am your culprit…”
Wailing, she held my hands while I was incapable of parting my touch followed by tears taking my vision.
My lips started to turn dry, cheeks wetting due to tears, falling into the abyss I wanted to escape.
It was just an apology, how could it hurt so much? And to think she wanted to tell me that for a while…
‘What should I do with this apology…? What should I fucking do!!??’
Losing her breaths, she kissed my hands for a long time before placing them over her forehead, tears soaking my hands.
“I feel so guilty for shattering your dreams, your hopes, you had one happiness- me- and I purloined it too, I am sorry, Zaviyaar!”
I wish I had left so I didn’t have to hear it.
I had absolutely no idea she wanted to say ‘this’ to me. I was not strong enough to bear it, it was making me convulse, fragile and mostly, ravaged.
I should have left…
“Each night only one hope cried within me, when am I going to see you again? Am I going to see you again?”
Lifting her miserable face, bringing our hands down, she sobbed, tears rolling down our cheeks in sync.
My body was in a state of shock with a dropped mouth, hearing everything carefully so it could ruin me more than I already was.
“I wanted to hold your love as my shield, they didn’t let me, I failed, I am sorry!”
“I am sorry, I am sorry, Zaviyaar!!”
"You did everything to save our marriage and I didn't think twice before leaving you!!"
"You loved me so endlessly and I failed you... I am sorry!"
Lowering her head to place it over my chest as she cried, gripping my shirt firmly in her hands to express her grief and regret.
I sat on the ground properly because when she had placed her head on me as a sign to seek comfort-
I would provide it even if it kills me.
But, amid this crying, anguish and pain, she spoke something that evoked an unmanageable spark, freezing my whole being.
“I never knew life would be so incomplete until I left you,”
That was it, if I had heard more, I won’t be myself if it continued, I would cross my boundary.
Forcing the lump in my throat, I held her shoulder and pulled her away roughly, staring dead into her eyes, breathless and devastated.
“Why are you saying this now? Why revive my scars?”
“You should know I could never hate you, I wouldn’t have complained once if you hadn’t told me anything either.” I growled.
Bringing her dangerously closer to feel my burn, to feel my pain and realize-
This apology would make me leave my soul here and return as an empty shell.
“I am so sorry that I couldn’t do anything for you, please forgive me, for hurting you, for leaving you all alone, for becoming selfish, I am sorry for not being a good wife,” She whispered weakly, pressing her teeth together to not further weep, understanding my silence.
She attempted to control herself and not break more than she already did.
Curling my lips upward from despondency, I brought her near my chest, embracing her rigidly, kissing the top of her head.
I held her like a cherish possession, like ‘I’ would be fragmented if I let her go and upon hearing her stabilized breathing, I relaxed.
“You know what, Aalifa? I don’t mind because since when has anything in my life been completed?” I whispered, causing her to lift her beautiful teary gaze to meet mine.
“What… Do you mean?”
“From my hopes to my dreams, they are incomplete. From my education to my home is incomplete too. From my love life to my bonds.”
Releasing a few unwanted tears, I laughed a little. Hands shaking because even this fucking hug was incomplete too.
“I had been surrounded with incomplete things all my life….”
Lowering my head, I placed it on her shoulder, lips parting, unknowingly digging my nail on her shoulder as I ended up whimpering.
“But, I swear, with all of my incompleteness…”
Voice breaking, my grip faded as I glanced at her miserably, liberating the sob.
“I love you…”