Chapter 167 To Zaviyaar

Chapter 167 To Zaviyaar
“Papa, please,” 

Gasping, I shook my head in denial, not wanting to lose another precious bond of my life. I was incapable of bearing further anguish.

Why was he not getting my state? People stay single, what is wrong with it!? 

“You will do as we say from now on, Aalifa. Do something right in your life once and stop chasing the wrong people!” 

“I can’t marry another man, I can’t love him, I can’t be a wife, I can't!”

“SHUT UP!” He yelled, losing his composure, almost coming to raise his hand but Mother and Granny stopped him.

“Control yourself! Dear, she is our daughter!” Mama shouted, keeping him back as my steps stumbled in dread.

“Then make her understand that we are doing this for her betterment! Stop waiting for a man who won’t come!” He hissed.

Glaring outrageously at me while I was too scared. My legs became numbed with a dried throat. 

I couldn’t run, opening my mouth again became too difficult as tears silently rolled down when Mama gradually soothed him.

I was becoming a burden. 

Now I wasn’t even a good daughter. Nothing in my life was right, all my decisions were always wrong.

“You are going to marry Ahmer and that is final,”

‘I knew I was never right, I knew. But, for the sake of what I once felt, for the love we shared… I didn’t want to marry.’

….I still remembered how madly I sobbed at our nikkah.

Tears spilled uncontrollably, my lips were shaking, unable to scream as I looked at my parents desperately. Breathless, an utter mess with ruined makeup.

I was shaking my head in denial, hoping they would shed some mercy but instead, took my hand and placed it on the papers.

“Sign, Dear,”

“Why is she crying so much?” Ahmer asked, frowning when I looked absolutely horrible at our wedding with a crushed heart.

“Because she is too attached to us, she doesn’t want to leave us. Come on, Aalifa, sign,” Father whispered, pressing my hand harder onto the paper.

‘I am not a deceiver. I am not, please, don’t shatter my only pride…’

With unmanageable anguish and blurred eyes, I signed the papers with a hefty heart. I could feel my throat tingling from wailing.

But nothing worked and before I knew it, the only source of self-esteem and courage I had left in me was destroyed.

“You are looking exquisite,” 

I wailed so miserably that by the time I was in our room with Ahmer, I was dead inside. My heart was detached from everything.

“Thank you,”

My heart was immersed into woe. I lost hope, I lost my composure. If alone, I might have recovered gradually but sadly, that chance was taken from me.

And… How could I blame Ahmer for it? 

He didn’t do anything wrong. He liked me, he wanted to marry. It was simple from his side.

So I decided to be his wife too, even if I didn’t feel anything, I didn’t want to, it hurt but what other option I had? So I agreed.

But, on one condition.

“Ahmer, can I ask you one thing? Please?”

“Go ahead, ask me anything, sweetheart,” He grinned, hugging me from behind. He was surely delighted but everything inside me was hollow.

“If… at any point of my life, I met Zaviyaar, can I have two minutes with him? I want to tell him something,” 

To my request, he became serious, narrowing his eyes as I was anxious if he would allow it or not.

“Why do you want to meet your ex-husband?” 

“There something I have to tell him, nothing else,”

“You won’t leave me, right?” He asked vaguely, not leaving him, instead tightening his grip until I felt suffocated.

“N-no, trust me. I want a last meeting, nothing else. I am your wife now,” 

Upon hearing ‘your wife’ he relaxed. He was suspicious, it was surely an odd request, he didn’t want to.

“Please,”

But the second I placed my hand over his, he forgot everything else and released a long sigh of disappointment.

“Okay,” 

The next day, keeping my gaze hollow, I was serving Ahmer breakfast, keeping my emotions stoic as usual until he grabbed my wrist.

“Didn’t sleep last night?”

“You’re getting late,” 

“Are you angry with me for hurting you? I am sorry, I didn’t mean to,” He sighed, making me sit beside him and caressed the back of my palm.

“No, no, you don’t have to. Which man would want to see his wife with her ex? You were right in your place,” 

I forced a smile, motioning to him to relax. 

He stared at my face for the next few seconds before releasing a disappointing sigh again, expressing his worry.

“I am afraid of knowing what you want to tell him,”

“Then come along. I hope that would erase your distrust too,” 

I suggested instantly, it was not that I was going to beg him to take me back.

I just didn’t want him to address me as a shammer.  

Widening my smile nervously, I turned my head away, pulling my hand away from him slowly. 

“Because, honestly, Ahmer, I can live without love but I can’t without respect, trust and loyalty,”

“You won’t leave me for him…?” He asked in disbelief.

I frowned, “I have married you, why would I? Why do you always ask this?” 

To my disapproval, he gave the real reason behind him being possessive and constantly taunting me. 

“Because I see regret of losing him in your eyes,”

My eyes widened when he told me seriously, sealing my voice in anticipation and dread. 

I was still for the next few moments with racing heartbeats as he continued.

“I saw love, devotion, happiness, I saw ‘everything’ in your eyes. But, for ‘him’, not for me.”

I shivered, not realizing that it was noticeable. 

“And I feel insecure if you might not leave me. We are not a match anyways,” 

When he confessed his worry, I held the hem of my dress, smiling emptily as I told him about those words repeating in my mind ever since I married him.

“You know what, Ahmer? Zaviyaar used to tell me something all the time,”

“What?”

His mouth gaped. Staring back at him with a tear I chuckled sorrowfully, “Not everyone attains everything,” 

“You should be happy that you have the one you wanted with you. Heard you are a big fan of mine,”

“Yeah, I was for a long time since you were known as Sitara but never thought I would actually have you in my life, I guess that made me possessive…”

He smiled back in return, leaning back to rub his temples to display his discouragement that pricked a needle in my chest.

I guess I was cursed, ruining the glee of the people around me too. 

“I won’t blame you,” 

I was about to get up and leave but he grabbed my wrist, making an abrupt announcement. 

“Then let’s go,”

“Where?”

“To Zaviyaar. Because I also want to know what it is that you desperately want to tell him,”