Chapter 62 Jealousy
AMELIA
I spent the morning in a fog of anticipation and anxiety.
Jeremy would be back tonight. We'd talk. We would discuss everything, including the kiss. About what he'd said.
But what would he say? What did I want him to say?
That meant something? That he felt the same confusion and longing I did? That despite everything—his world, my blindness, the complications—he wanted to try?
Or would he say it was a mistake? He'd been drunk and I should forget it happened?
I was in the kitchen making coffee I didn't really want when I heard footsteps in the hallway.
"Amelia?" Luca's voice.
"In here."
He entered. I heard something being set on the counter.
"Your phone," he said. "Boss texted me this morning. Said to give it back to you."
My heart jumped. "He did?"
"Yes, he confirmed that the lockdown has ended." You can have phone privileges again." Luca paused. "But Amelia—be smart about it, okay? Don't contact anyone you shouldn't."
"I won't."
"Good. I'll be in the security room if you need anything."
He left.
I picked up my phone and felt its familiar weight. I turned it on.
I discovered that I had missed several calls. The calls all originated from the same number.
Alex.
My thumb hovered over the screen. I should delete them. Block the number. Stay away, like Jeremy had told me to.
But—
He'd been kind to me. Had made me feel normal. He had offered me friendship when everyone else viewed me as a problem or a possession.
Was that really so terrible?
The phone rang in my hand, making me jump.
Alex's number.
I hesitated. Then answered.
"Hello?"
"Amelia! Finally. I've been trying to reach you for days." His voice was warm. Concerned. "Are you alright? After your friend dragged you out of the café, I was worried."
"I'm fine. I just—things got complicated."
"I can imagine. Listen, I know I'm probably not supposed to be calling you. Your employer—Jeremy, right?—he seems pretty protective." Alex paused. "Or is it more than protective? I saw him this morning, actually. He was accompanying a beautiful, well-dressed woman. They seemed—close."
My stomach dropped. "What?"
"Yeah, this morning. Coming out of some estate—I was nearby for a meeting. They got into a car together. She was holding his arm, looking up at him like—" He stopped. "Sorry, maybe I shouldn't have mentioned it. Is she his girlfriend or something?"
"His fiancée," I heard myself say. "Victoria Castellano."
"Oh. His fiancée." Alex's voice held surprise. "And you're—what? His maid?"
The word stung. I was indeed His maid, wasn't I? His employee. His responsibility. His problem.
He bears no responsibility for anything else.
This holds true even after the events of last night.
Even after the kiss, he had expressed his desire for me.
He'd left this morning with Victoria. His fiancée. The woman he was engaged to.
"Amelia? You still there?"
"Yeah. I'm here."
"Look, I didn't mean to upset you. I just saw them and I thought maybe you should know. I wanted to clarify in case you were misunderstanding your situation there. His voice softened. "You deserve better than being someone's secret. "You are just a convenient distraction for someone who is trying to maintain their real relationship."
"It's not like that."
"Isn't it?" Alex paused. "Listen, why don't we meet? Just for coffee again. Alternatively, we could meet for lunch, whichever suits you better. You sounded so stressed when your friend pulled you out last time. I'd like to make sure you're really okay."
"I can't. Jeremy would—"
"Jeremy's with his fiancée right now. They will likely be together for the rest of the day, especially if they looked as cosy as they did this morning. Alex's voice was gentle. "You're allowed to have friends, Amelia. You're allowed to have a life outside of whatever complicated situation you're in."
He was right. Jeremy was with Victoria. His actual fiancée. Probably discussing their arrangement. Their future.
While I sat here, waiting for him like an idiot.
"I don't know," I said.
"Just think about it. My number's in your phone now. If you change your mind, call me. Anytime." He paused. "You're not a prisoner, Amelia. Don't let anyone make you feel like one."
He hung up.
I sat there, phone in my hand, my mind spinning.
Jeremy was with Victoria. This morning. Right after our kiss last night.
Right after he'd said he wanted me.
But he'd left with her. His fiancée.
I needed to know. I needed to confirm.
I called Luca.
"Amelia? Everything okay?"
"Was Victoria Castellano here this morning?"
A pause. "Yeah. She came by around seven. Why?"
"And Jeremy left with her?"
"Yeah. They had business at the Castellano estate. Luca's voice sounded confused. "Why are you asking?"
"No reason. Just—curious."
"Amelia"
"Thanks, Luca."
I hung up before he could ask more questions.
So it was true.
Victoria had been here. This morning. She had pulled Jeremy away immediately after he'd made a promise that we would talk.
He had just kissed me. Touched me. He made it clear that he wanted me.
And he'd gone. With her. His fiancée.
The woman he was engaged to. She was the woman he would eventually marry, whether by arrangement or not.
What role did I play in his life? His maid? His secret? His mistake?
My hands shook as I stared at the phone I couldn't see.
I knew the engagement was political. Knew Victoria and Jeremy weren't in love. Knew they both had other people they cared about.
But seeing them together—or hearing about it, rather—right after our intimate moment—
It hurt.
I was being stupid, emotional and irrational.
Jeremy had left a note. Had said we'd talk tonight. Had wanted to stay but had business to attend to.
But he'd also left with Victoria. His fiancée. Victoria, who the world perceived as his partner, had also left.
While I was hidden away in his wing. A secret. Something to be kept private.
Something to be ashamed of.
Before I could second-guess myself, I called Alex back.
He answered on the first ring. "Amelia?"
"Tomorrow," I said. "I'll meet you tomorrow. For coffee. Or lunch. Whatever."
"Really?" He sounded pleased. Surprised. "That's great. Where and when?"
"I don't—I can't leave the estate. Not without—" I stopped. "Actually, there's a café. The café is located two blocks away from the estate gates. The one we went to before."
"Perfect. What time?"
"One o'clock? After lunch service?"
"One o'clock works. I'll be there." His voice was warm. "Thank you for trusting me, Amelia. I promise you won't regret it."
I hoped he was right.
"See you tomorrow," I said.
"Tomorrow."
I hung up and immediately felt—what? Relief? Guilt? Defiance?
Most likely, all of these emotions were present.
Jeremy had gone with Victoria. His fiancée. Right after kissing me.
So why shouldn't I have coffee with Alex? Why shouldn't I have a friend? Someone who treated me like a person instead of a possession?
I was being petty. Vindictive. Letting jealousy drive my decisions.
But I didn't care.
Jeremy wanted to maintain his engagement to Victoria while kissing me in private? Fine.
I could have coffee with Alex while being Jeremy's maid in public.
We could both play complicated games.
Even if it was dangerous, and stupid
Even if part of me knew this was exactly the wrong decision.