Rejection and acceptance

Rejection and acceptance
"No," as the words left my lips there was complete silence in the garden, it was deafening, Massimo was still on his knees but the widening smile on his face had disappeared into confusion.

The band, the waitresses, and the managers moved to leave, whispering as they leave the premises.

Massimo got off his knee and stood up dusting his suit pants, he looked at me with cold dead eyes and just walked closer to me. My breathing had changed from stable to irregular, Massimo was many things but never a risk, for me.

He holds the ring between his thumb and forefinger, he shows the diamond ring more like shoving it in my face, and then holds out my arm putting the ring on my palm, "Wear it when you are ready, "

I pull my hand out of his hold and take a step back, "I... I can't, I can't " I stammer my words

He grabs my shoulder and drags me out of the garden to our room, he leaves me when we are in the privacy of our room, and he signs pacing the room mumbling words in Italian.

"What is it?" he asks when he settles down on a chair, he stares at my soul waiting for my answers

I feel goosebumps on my skin thinking about what will happen if I say the wrong things at the wrong time, but considering that this is the worst timing in my entire life I was nervous.

I look at him as he started at me waiting for my explanation, I swallowed the lump in my throat, and answered.

"I don't want to get married," I say not making eye, I knew he was staring at me with millions of questions swirling inside his head.

"Why not?" he asked leaning forward in his chair "We were married before,"

I snapped my head in his direction and smiled sadly "Yes, we were, but it does not have satisfactory memories, " I sat next to him on the recliner

"The man I married was not nice, he was never there, and he never loved me, I was miserable in that marriage. I'm not ready for another commitment, marriage is the last thing on my mind," I explained hoping he would understand.

"You know, I was only pretending to be Dimitri at the time," he said in a low voice.

"I didn't, I had no idea why you did what you did, I was miserable. Massimo, I have only known all these things for a few months ago, I spent 5 years with the man, I have known you for a few months, and all that pain won't go away just like that," I said standing up

"I need time, I hope you understand," with that I leave him alone.

I had no idea where I was going but I needed to clear my head and move away from him at least for a while.

His proposal triggered bad memories inside my head, the things he did, and the time we spent together as a couple in those five years flashed before my eyes. I knew this time around he had good intentions, but it does not mean I cannot forget the awful time I had endured.

I walk up to the beach and just sat there on the sand, I took off my heels and placed my feet under the cold sand, the breeze glazed on my skin bringing goosebumps I'm it's wake.

I wrap my arms around myself and just stared at the sea, the dark ocean was silent and peaceful, there was no one around, it was just me and my thoughts.

My mind drifts back to the scene a few moments ago, Massimo took me to a place as beautiful as this and did something I had only dreamed about, it was a dream proposal every girl hopes for, so why can't I feel grateful, why the hell do I feel guilty about it?

"Are sure you want to be here miss?" I voice of a strange snapped me out of my thoughts.

I turn to face a man I have never seen before, my eyes lowered to the tag on his chest and the name on it said, Jacob, assistant manager.

"I want to be left alone, please," I said politely hoping he would leave and never come back, he was not old like the rest of the staff in the hotel, he rather looked somewhere my age, he was not bad looking just not that good looking either, he was somewhere in the middle.

"If you don't mind, can I say something?" he asked looking around us before crunching down

I waited for him to continue without saying anything, I had been near enough gangsters in a few months to know that he was one as well.

"What you did do back there, are sure you will be alright?" he asked motioning towards the resort behind us.

"I will be fine, it is none of your concern, please leave," I said slowing him the way towards the resort and away from me, being approached by a man in the middle of the night was not a good idea considering Massimo was not far from here, I knew he was somewhere in the shadows watching me, watching us.

"If you insist, have a nice night ma'am," he bows before leaving.

I keep watching the sea until I hear footsteps walking closer to me, I feel something being wrapped around my cold body, and I flinch before realizing that it was Massimo who had laid a jacket on me. I watch him sit beside me not engaging in a conversation or trying to bring up the talk we had before.

"Please do not hate me," I mumbled quietly holding the jacket closer to my body, I snuggle into it as the musky fragrance of Massimo was calming my irritating heartbeat. There was a heavy feeling in my chest even though I was responsible for it, I felt guilty for my action, maybe this was the feeling people assumed when in love.

"I can never hate you, it is not in my being to ever have those feeling toward you, " he said looking at the calming sea. "I do understand where you come from, it is just painful, to be honest, I never thought you would reject me," he chuckled painfully.

"We need time Massimo, we hardly know each other, " he looked at me questioning when I said that, I smile at him "except for the file we have on each other we don't know anything about us, it is mostly me who does not know things about you, "

He hums in agreement "What do you want to know,"

I think before replying "Let's start from the beginning, Hi, I'm Erika Black and I'm 28 years old," I give him my hand to shake

He looked at me funny, smiling at my silliness nonetheless he shook my hand " I'm Massimo Torricceli and I'm 30 years old. " we grinned together.

"This might be silly but I want to let you know that I have always liked you, I think I have loved you the longest," I said moving closer to his body

He wraps his arm around me and pulls me closer, " Not possible, I fell for you the moment I laid my eyes on you," he said kissing my head.

"And when was it? My old office ?" I asked recalling my first meeting with this handsome hunk, my old boss had introduced us in his office.

He shakes his head "No, that was not the first time we met,"

I scrunch my eyebrows trying to remember but was a futile attempt.

He chuckled at my expression "Do you remember your high school graduation? "he asked, I pulled myself away from him and look at him shocked.

"My high school graduation? That was ten years ago, Massimo do not tell me you were there at my graduation." he laughed pulling me back into him.

"I was not there at your graduation, but I was there when you went clubbing the same night, remember club Apex, you were there celebrating your graduation," he clarified.

I could only watch him as his eyes gazed over drifting into his memories, he smiled at something maybe something about me.

"When did you notice me? And why can't I remember you? " I mumbled not looking happy about bypassing such an important memory.

"You were with your friends, and all of you were pretty loud when doing shots, I was there with Peter taking a day off my plan, and was just chilling, that's when I saw you, you were wearing a black strapless dress, your hair was let down and you were the most beautiful girl in the group, the way you smiled was enchanting, I fell, fell hard," he chuckled holding my hand in his and kissing the back of it.

"Why didn't you approach me?" I asked placing my head on his shoulder.

He kissed my hair " I could not approach you but it does not mean we didn't talk," I looked at him through my lashes.

"What do you mean? Did we speak that night? " I asked

He hummed " I was out smoking when I saw you walking out of the club but there was a guy who walked behind you, he was getting rk close and you were completely drunk, I didn't like the way he was looking at you so I grabbed him before his filthy hand touched you, " he placed his hand on mine and cherished it.

"I politely asked him to leave you alone, " I snorted at the polite word "Ok, ok, I was not polite when I glared at him and pushed him away from you, but none the less he left you alone, it was silent and awkward for both of us but you smiled at me and said 'Thank you, ' I did not say anything but you told me for someone as good-looking as me should smile more, I smiled at the thought of a drunk teenager asking me to smile out of nowhere, I could not stop thinking about you the whole night, you were not easy for me to forget, I could not focus around me, every time I tried to engage with someone else I thought of you, " he said eyes held so much love and admiration in them, it had me blushing red with embarrassment

He looked at me and said " I never stopped thinking about you, even though our encounter was brief and unnoticeable it was precious to me, I did not know if we would ever meet again but I had hope, I wanted to see you again." he confessed

I could not hold back from kissing him, he placed his arms around me and pulled me on top of him, he stroked my back as we deepened the kiss, I placed my hand on his head and pulled his face impossibly closer to mine.

I pulled away from him " How did I get so lucky?" I whispered pecking his lips

He pulled me tighter and kissed me hard leaving me breathless " It was fate meeting you, Erika, take your time, ask your questions, and do your due diligence but please never walk away from me, I can not handle it, the very thought of you not being in my life scares me, " he placed his head on my chest

"I know I have done terrible things to you but none of them meant any harm, I was trying not to fall for you while executing my plan, but I did not realize I had already fallen for you, " he kissed my right upper breast his warm breath hitting my skin.

"I will wait for you, just like you did for me for five years, I have and always will love you, so take all the time you need, I'm not going anywhere else,"