108-Realistic Simulation
**PIPPA**
He… *Xaver* stays close. I shiver every time he touches me. He does so more when people offer their congratulations on the success of the launch.
Thankfully, no one from The Sayle Group is here, except for a few employees from the publishing division and the people involved with Max and the launch.
Awkwardness at dodging well-meaning questions, *averted.*
After thirty minutes at Xaver’s side, Jetta and Nahla lead me away for a long chat. They know something has happened between my former boss and me. They’re my friends and they’re concerned, so I don’t mind giving them a sketchy version of what happened. I leave out the fact I’m pregnant. I don’t want to see the horror in their eyes.
I still remember Xaver’s.
“Well, that Craig won’t see the light of day. Mr. Sayle will make sure of that,” Nahla says, with a bite in her tone.
***
Jetta nods. “They need to castrate fuckers like that, then lock them up and throw away the key.”
I have to agree. Xaver had told his parents who relayed it to me that Craig will take a plea deal for a lesser sentence. He will get six years’ tops.
All I know, is if that bastard even *thinks* about coming for me or mine, he will have *me* to reckon with.
Sophia had called me at the hospital, apologizing, like Jenna had, for what was not her fault. I hate to think of how Sophia’s son, Marco, and the baby on the way, might suffer from the stigma their father placed on them.
Away from their father’s influence, I believe they will have a fighting chance on becoming decent people.
With my growing friendship with their mother, I will make sure they will.
While Jetta and Nahla turn the subject to the weather in Florida, I scan the room for Xaver. He stands with his arms crossed, his intense gaze softening when our eyes meet.
It is hard to look away, but I finally do, after giving him a quick smile.
I have already let go of the anger I had harbored towards him for Craig’s attack. Who could have expected that a deranged idiot would wait for me at my apartment?
No one. Least of all Xaver. And tonight, he will hear it from me.
***
Max suggests we go to a club.
That is the last thing I want to do. Xaver and I need to go to a quiet place and talk. To sort things between us once and for all.
However, if he wants to party, I am going back to his parent’s house. *Alone.*
I hold my breath, waiting for his decision.
Xaver places a hand in the small of my back. I shiver when he *absentmindedly-I-hope-on-purpose* caresses the exposed skin. “We’re going to head out, Max, but Devon and Nahla will take you guys where you want to go.”
Xaver chuckles under his breath at my sigh of relief and moves his hand to squeeze my side.
I look up at him.
He pulls me closer. Heat from his eyes and body pour into me. His gaze lights a fire where ever it touches, igniting the passion he will forever make me feel. I move my gaze to his lips. Xaver’s head descends...
Devan clears his throat.
I don’t miss the jab his girlfriend gives him in the ribs. It is what I would have done. Nahla, Jetta, and especially Max, wear knowing smiles while Devan just looks puzzled at what he had interrupted.
“Um, Max, Jetta, if you will follow me?” Devan with Nahla by his side, wishes us good night as do the others. He then leads the way to their waiting limo.
Xaver and I head to the coat-check. He asks if he can accompany me to his parent’s house.
I want him to, but I’m unsure.
His gaze left me fired up. Hot. Aching. Needy.
It’s too early to be thinking along those lines. We haven’t even discussed the babies yet.
*If he had kissed me, I would have let him.*
*I miss him so much...*
And damn my hormones for making me want him so bad.
***
“Let me pull up what I have to show you. It will just take a second,” he says as he steps into the limo.
“Xaver, we should talk.”
“Please, Pi. Just let me show you this.”
At the mention of the nickname he gave me, I relent. With my nod, he retrieves his phone from his inner tux pocket.
I’d like nothing better than to move closer, and once again, soak in Xaver’s heat. The car is warm, but I’m still chilled. Snow greeted us at the outside entrance and it’s still falling hard, making spots on the windshield.
The driver turns on the wipers and pulls away from the curb. The dome light slowly fades, softly plunging the salon into darkness. Xaver’s screen lights his face. His high cheekbones. That beautiful nose. His commanding lips…
I will never tire of looking at him. That, to my detriment, won’t change.
While he taps away, I turn my attention to the scenery outside. The snow has coated the sidewalks and the tree-lined streets, turning the city into a beautiful winter wonderland. My thoughts turn to Christmas.
*Will it snow that day as well? Wonder what I should geat Xaver—*
*Ugh!*
*Why I am thinking of the holidays when I have to find a place to live, a new job, a doctor, and a million other things, I don’t know.*
“Here it is,” he says grabbing my attention with a pat on my thigh. “Are you ready?”
He looks so animated...so eager, yet there is a hard line to his features.
Wondering what has got him in such a mood, I nod.
Xaver scoots closer. We now sit thigh to thigh. The scent of his cologne floats to me. I close my eyes and breathe it in. His chuckle pulls my eyes open. Judging by his smirk, he has caught on to what I am doing.
Heat warms my cheeks.
His smirk fades.
Our gazes lock.
Only when the driver halts to avoid a drunk, walking in the middle of the street, do I tear my eyes from Xaver’s face and look at the screen.
A video with an FBI logo. Not the one on the movies, but the official seal. The video has been cut. Even a novice like me can tell that.
A moment later, I see why.
The view is from a body cam. The person is running, making the video jerk and jump like a boat on stormy water. Shots ring out. Someone’s scream cuts off. The body cam stills. The next view is of a body on the ground.
A white sheet covers the person underneath, except for a pair of black, silver-tipped cowboy boots. The angle dips. The cameraman lifts the hand of the dead man. On it is a 14K gold ring, taken from a drifter he and his brother beat up and then kicked out of town.
My stepfather.
The camera pans up. The authorities place the sheriff, who wears a billowy, stained, tank top and striped boxers, in handcuffs. He is then led away from the scene by two agents. Without a glance towards his dead partner in crime, the former sheriff sinks into the back of a car and the Feds drive him away.
As the video fades to black, I swear the world just got brighter.
“Are you okay?” Xaver asks, concern for my well-being reflected in his tone.
My voice is small—guilty—with the lack of remorse I feel, “Is it wrong for me to feel glad that he can’t hurt me anymore?”
Xaver takes my hands in his, brushing his thumb back and forth over my knuckles, sending a tingle down my spine. “No, Pi. Not at all. You are a generous, giving soul. You have nothing to be ashamed of. A man like that doesn’t deserve your forgiveness.”
I take a deep breath and as I speak, I grow lighter with every word like someone has lifted a million pounds from my shoulders.
“You have mine. Not that I even need to give it because you did nothing wrong. I am sorry for what I said in the hospital. You were hurting and instead of staying quiet, I should have helped you through it.”
“Pi. You had a right to feel all those things. I am the one who is sorry. My anger got a hold of me and I took it out on you. And that was wrong. So wrong, on so many levels.” He lifts my hands, kissing the back. “I will see a therapist next week. He comes highly recommended. I... I need to come up with ways to control my myself. I never want to lash out at you, or anyone like that ever again. I hope in time you’ll forgive me for what I said.”
“Xaver, I already have.”
Again, we lock eyes, searching for what we’ve both been missing.
He must see my longing. He must see *me.*
I sense that he does when his smile lights up the salon. The brightness draws me in and I can’t help but lean forward, just as he does.
Right before I close my eyes, his phone rings.
It is Sophia. She is having her baby.