Chapter 29 CROSSING LINES
Godiva's POV
I tried to change the topic at first.
“How many people saw me drunk that night?” I asked.
“How am I supposed to know that? I got all the juicy details from Hakeem. He has this weird way of leaving places in the heat of an event.”
He sighed and added, “He also has this fucked up way of getting first-hand information on awkward circumstances.”
I nodded, then shot the most glaring question that bothered me the most about him.
“Actually, Jerald, I asked because I noticed how you’ve been so loosed with other girls since we got here,” I said, changing my mind.
“You say ‘loosed’ like I’m some cheap prostitute,” he said, laughing uncontrollably. “You know you girls are so beautiful, and one can’t just have enough of you.”
I didn’t believe the unsatisfying answer I got from him. He obviously just cooked that up, and I was hell bent on pressing on to hear from him.
“Why are you looking at me that way?” he asked after observing the manner in which I kept glaring at him.
“Because I’m not satisfied with your answer,” I replied, still glaring.
He burst into an outburst of laughter. “You should consider being a psychologist,” he said, still laughing. “Let’s just say I can’t feel anything for no girl, especially not Lis. We’re both just catching fun.”
His answer left me speechless for a while.
“It’s fun for you. Have you ever thought about how she feels?” I asked in a concerned manner.
“Well, that’s life,” he replied nonchalantly.
“Why are you even betrothed to her?” I asked again. “Why not Ben? He’s older. Why you?”
Immediately I asked this question, I noticed his face turn pale. I suddenly regretted why I asked him a question so private.
“You tell me, and I’ll tell you why I rejected Leo’s kiss,” I teased in order to ease the tension and lighten the mood.
“What makes you think I’m invested in your relationship?” he said, looking at me in disgust.
I was about talking when his voice filled the air.
“We’ve been best of friends since we were two years old, and truthfully, we cared for each other at every point, including Ben. The three of us were actually an inseparable pair. Life was smooth. We had other friends too. I suddenly began developing phobia for any lady as early as age eight."
"I would usually begin trembling at the sight of any lady except Lis. I was taken to a therapist, that was when I was diagnosed with gynophobia. I had to be homeschooled until I was thirteen. I began talking to other ladies aside from my mum and Lis. In my childhood innocence, I mentioned I wanted getting married to Lis, and trust elite Chinese businessmen, they immediately held a betrothal ceremony for us."
He inhaled deeply and continued. "But the therapy didn’t change the way I viewed girls. The treatment I got kind of twisted the phobia to misogynistic traits."
"I can only care less about what any girl will feel. After all, I don’t force myself on anyone,” he said as he burst out laughing.
Listening to him, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. He was laughing, but I could only hear sadness in that laughter. I knew something must have triggered him, something probably painful.
I had lots of questions running through my mind that I desperately wanted to ask him. I wanted to ask him what happened to him, what changed him, why he was still messed up, because even if he didn’t know it, his school of thought was really messed up.
We sat in silence as all these thoughts ran through my mind. I wanted to ask all these questions, but I knew I’d be invading his privacy.
“Soooo, it’s your turn, miss,” Jerald’s voice rang, jolting me back to reality, breaking my chain of thought.
I looked at him in confusion as I asked, “What turn are you talking of?”
“Don’t give me that bullshit,” he said jokingly. “We made a deal, so spill.”
“I was just kidding, I didn’t think you’d take it seriously,” I exclaimed in surprise.
“Well, I spilled mine, so spill. I’m not used to losing,” he said, looking me in the eyes. I could see how determined he was. I had absolutely no escape route.
I turned and smiled at him as I began telling him Mum’s long and sorrowful love story that was the genesis of the mysterious “no dating” rule.
“I’ve never kissed a guy before. That was why I rejected Leo, because he was the first guy I’ve ever dated,” I said, concluding my sorry tale.
“You’ve never kissed a man, is that even possible?” he exclaimed in surprise. He looked taken aback by the genuineness in my eyes.
“More reason why I blame you for getting in a relationship with that guy,” he said in a serious tone. “He doesn’t even deserve you.”
I laughed at his show of care. I could see rage in his eyes as he spoke those words. A part of me wished I could have him around, just as a confidant and a shoulder to lean on.
I quickly dismissed the thought the second I remembered he wasn’t always reasonable.
“So what do you want to do now?” he asked in the calmest voice I had ever heard him use.
“I… I don’t… I don’t know,” I said, stammering.
I was taken aback the second his warm hands gently laid on mine as he held on to it firmly.
“I know I’m actually not in a position to say this since I’m no better,” he said, “but I really wish you’d totally move on from him. That’s the best revenge. He doesn’t deserve you.”
We both kept silent as I stared into his eyes, smiling. In my heart, I couldn’t stop thanking God for bringing him my way, because talking to him was every comfort I needed.
For a while, we both kept silent, staring at each other in the eyes. I tried shying away because I knew from movies I had watched that was how many kisses started and probably led to love.
I was trying to gather my thoughts and bring up a conversation to put an end to the awkwardness when I noticed Jerald’s face approaching mine, his eyes closed. I knew he was approaching for a kiss.