Chapter 21

THERE WAS NOTHING wrong with a bit of plastic surgery. Everyone did it. Celebrities, Korean folk and rich people like Elias.

But in a place like Richmond Park Academy where status was built upon physical attractiveness, it came to no one's surprise that someone like Elias would tumble to the fucking bottom of the social hierarchy. I thought there wasn't a 'social hierarchy' in this place too. Alas it was only heavily disguised as an egalitarian (lowkey totalitarian) system.

Even two days after the revelation, I was still in shock.

"Are you listening?" My Calculus tutor snapped his fingers in my face. I jumped out of my reverie.

Had to remind myself that I was in an empty classroom (library didn't facilitate discussion and cafeteria was too far). I was in the presence of Jaxon Ortega, my dutiful Calculus tutor who had been nothing but professional thus far. It was a Wednesday night. I had an hour left of this. I was learning about indefinite integrals. I inhaled and I exhaled.

"Sorry."

"What's troubling you?" He finally asked.

"Nothing."

"No, really," he closed the textbook. "You'll focus better if you let it out."

"I just," I wasn't even sure how to express my thoughts in words. Felt like bedlam in my head. "I just need a while to get used to the idea that nothing is ever the way they seem."

"I will judge you if you bring up Elias DuPont."

I fixed my gaze on him. With unblinking eyes, I sized Jaxon up. Most people my age with leader positions and responsibilities exuded superficial charm to cancel out a more sinister side to them. But Jaxon rose to his position with casual confidence and level headedness. He was just a no-bullshit rational soul who didn't seem to concern himself with that superficial charm that I was beginning to hate.

So I pursed my lips and told him the real issue.

"There's something wrong with this place."

He raised an eyebrow.

"The system, I mean. It's vestigial and basically a popularity contest."

"As someone with a high position in the system, I feel inclined to question your political view." Jaxon said calmly.

"So you admit the system is overly politicized!"

He shot me a measured look.

"It’s just a toxic system. I'm going to bring up Elias here because he's a good example of why the system has holes. But before I bring him up, I would first like to say that the factions are good examples of human personality. As you are aware, some factions are larger than others. The largest ones, as you are also aware, comprises a certain shallow and superficial demographic."

Jaxon's expression was unreadable.

"As you are also aware, but you probably wouldn't admit this aloud, the students with high positions in the student council along with faction heads all meet this certain physical attractiveness criteria."

"Cut the jargon, just say we're hot."

I laughed for some reason.

"Okay so I know if I say this system is stupid, you're going to say it's democratic and all of you were voted into position anonymously by students."

Jaxon nodded, urging me to continue.

"Naturally... the shallow people who dominate this place are going to vote for the attractive people who also happen to be popular. Hence why it is a popularity contest."

"I'm a bit surprised," Jaxon started. "Is this your first encounter with politics?"

"Wait, so you actually agree with me?"

"It's like this too in the real world," he shrugged. "People who transcend the system either take advantage and ride the wave or they ignore it altogether."

"I don't understand. Explain."

"What do you not understand? I just mean there isn't much you can do. Unfortunately there aren't too many people like you in society, otherwise there would be an uprising. That's why we need the shallow people who don't question authority. There needs to be conformity for a country to run."

I sighed helplessly. "I just hate how things are at RPA. Could be better, ya feel?"

"Well, you don't have to obey the system. It's not exactly school rules, just vestigial, like you said. Hence respected."

I blinked at the Calculus textbook.

"But since we're having an objective heart-to-heart, want my two cents?" Jaxon asked.

"Sure."

"I reckon you feel a bit lonely because you can't find like-minded people."

"Are you kidding me? How is this related?"

"I wasn't done," he said calmly. "I could tell you weren't a Faction Five from the very start. They're robotic people who won't concern themselves with the rest of the population."

"Hold up. What made you think I wasn't one of them? Are you trying to say that I'm dumb?"

"I wouldn't say dumb, just different. Faction Five members love the system because it draws them together. They're all introverts with varying degrees of social anxiety, you see. But they know that they're superior both mentally and academically. The system brought them together. Number, to them, is power. They build on each other's intellect. So, for some, the factional system does good."

"Why did you refer to people in your faction as 'they'?"

"Because Andrea," he said seriously. He halted too, for added drama. "I'm a divergent."

Laughter filled the room. I caught wisps of my own laughter, interspersed with Jaxon's deeper sounding laughter. God, it felt good to laugh. I wasn't someone who laughed a lot. This was my first genuine laugh at this forsaken place. Suddenly the room wasn't tense anymore and suddenly Jaxon didn't seem like such a bad person anymore.

"What about me?"

"That's something you gotta ask yourself, friend."

"Friend," I mused, remembering the origin of that title. It was birthed from hatred. But I daresay I was glad to have this insightful conversation with someone like Jaxon.

"Anything else on your mind?"

"I don't think you're a man-child or a douche," I said sincerely. "That day you found me in the male accommodations, I came from Elias's room."

"Ah, I see why you feel troubled now."

"I can't tell if you're being condescending."

"If it's any consolation, you'd be surprised by the amount of students here who have undergone cosmetic surgery. Most of us come from money. It's a small price to pay for aesthetics," he shrugged. "Sadly, it's only stigmatized when a male does it."

I nodded in agreement.

"You wanna know why?"

"Because it's mostly girls who do it?"

"Nah. You gotta dig far into mankind's animalistic instincts. I say this in the most cautious manner possible. In an ideal heteronormative society, males are engineered to choose a female to mate with to ensure continuation of our species. So it's not exactly a male's job to look good. The media discounts outliers these days. But for majority of society, same animalistic instincts apply."

"Wow," was all I managed to muster. "And you told me off for using jargon."

"Jargon?" He mused. "That's not jargon. I explained myself very well. I can still go on, in fact."

"I think I get your point."

"You think you understand a lot of things."

I chewed on my bottom lip, unsure how to respond.

"Let's just call it a night," Jaxon said as he began collecting his scattered books to place them into his backpack. I did the same, wordlessly.

"You're taking advantage of the factional system, aren't you?" I asked.

"I wouldn't say something like this in public," he warned. As an afterthought, he added, "but yeah, I'm doing this to spice up my personal statement."

"Wow, same," I said under my breath.

He turned to look at me. "Come again?"

"Nothing."

When we entered the classroom two hours ago, there were other students who were discussing school unrelated topics. But they seemed to disperse upon realizing that some dumb bitch  was being tutored for Calculus. I made my way to the exit of the classroom with Jaxon trailing behind.

I inhaled and I exhaled.

"Hey, Jaxon, can you... keep a secret?"

I'd halted in my tracks, causing him to walk into me (he had his attention fixated on his cellphone). He blinked a few times. We were close, too close for comfort. He'd placed both hands on my shoulders to steady either himself or myself. Time became a foreign concept as we stood there, face to face. Gotta create space. I backed away until I felt the comfort and the sturdiness of the classroom's wall.

Jaxon, to all appearances looked like he just wanted the day to end. It was late, after all. But then my eyes met his chocolate ones. It ignited something within the both of us - our animalistic instincts. Out of thin air, there was sexual tension. Electrifying, sizzling and fizzling. He breathed. I mirrored him.

"What is it?" He finally asked.

"A bad secret." I said under my breath. He drew close, caging me against the wall with arms on both sides.

"But you're not the only one with bad secrets, friend," His warm breath fanned against my neck.

I resisted the noise at the back of my throat as he leaned closer. The sound of my own breathing, shallow and short, was a manifestation of my racing heart. Heat pooled in between my legs, I reveled in the rasping familiarity of said sensation.

"What secrets are you hiding?"

"I sleep with the Calculus teacher for good grades."

"Wait, what?" I shoved him away, all lustful thoughts forgotten. "That's NOT FAIR."

He fell a few steps back. He doubled over in raucous laughter. I wasn't used to this side of Jaxon, the side with a sense of humor. It was a different kind of humor from Elias's, that's for sure. I stood there watching him laugh at his own joke for ten seconds before he regained composure.

"Should've seen your face," he wheezed out.

"You would be worried if your Calc tutor told you that," I scowled.

He shook his head. "Nah, that wasn't worry on your face. It was jealousy."

I pulled a face. "Why would I be jealous of someone banging that sack of skin in five inch heels?" I asked incredulously.

"Hey, its 2018, dude. No kink-shaming."

Cold air met our faces the moment we stepped out of the classroom. I asked him a question the same time he asked me one. There was a tense silence following the awkward moment.

"You go first," he finally said.

"Did you really sleep with Ms. Elliot for good grades?"

"God, no," Jaxon almost sounded disgusted at the idea. "Even if my grades were shit I would never stoop to that level."

I was silent for a while. "I would."

He gave me a weird look.

"If she was hot."

"Fair enough," he said. "Coming from someone who accused half the population of being shallow."

I gritted my teeth, before deciding to let the subject drop. Because this wasn't something I could win at. "So... What were you going to ask?"

There was a beat of silence.

"Out of curiosity, how did you get involved with someone like Elias?"

"You think I'm not good enough?"

"You just don't peg me as his type of person, again I say this cautiously. I don't think any person is subpar to anyone. Incompatible, perhaps. Never subpar."

"He was my lab partner."

"I see."

"You so think he's better than me."

"Because he's physically attractive? Nah. Looks aren't everything."

"So you think I'm ugly?"

He shot me an exasperated look.

"Sorry. You know behind every attractive female there's an insecure little kid who wants emotional validation."

"Says the person who called half the population shallow."

"Why would you use my words against me when I would NEVER do the same to you? Oh well, I try so hard to be your friend - and maybe someday that will happen!"

"Did you just quote Donald Trump?"

I scowled. We were nearing the female dorms now. It took me several seconds to realize that Jaxon had walked me back to my dorms. The male dorms were on the other end; the thought made my heart flutter. He walked me back holy shit.

"Never mind, I'm just surprised you can quote him word for word." Jaxon continued.

"The fact that you know I'm quoting him word for word doesn't put you in a better position, friend."

"Fair enough. Goodnight, friend." He said when we arrived at the lobby.

"Goodnight to you too, friend," I returned with a smile - something he didn't reciprocate. I didn't know when this began, but I was starting to notice small things about Jaxon. Like how his smiles were far and few in between. A lot like myself, actually.

"Thanks for everything."

He nodded before turning to leave.