Ugly World

In the days after Logan left the Pack, it was decided that Alphas Warren and Robert Hexon would resume leadership until Jacob was ready to take over. Jacob was still very young as far as Alphas go. He still had much to learn but he was eager to take his place as head of his pack and family. His father had entrusted the lives of everyone to him and he meant to make himself worthy.

However, his budding relationship with Eliza was taking a back seat to his ambitions. She was understanding, he had a lot of responsibilities. Eliza spent most of her time with her healer duties and taking care of Erik.

Erik had taken the loss of his parents and sister very hard. Although Jacob wasn’t aware yet, Erik had decided to leave with Haldir when he returned. He was young and just didn’t have the connection to the pack as Jacob did. He hadn’t been separated from his parents a day in his life, aside from the occasional sleep over with his cousins. He was lost without them. Everyday he became more withdrawn. The only time he left his room was when Eliza came home to make him dinner. The Alphas had removed him from school for his safety and he was becoming more isolated by the day. Eliza’s concern for his well being was great, but she debated on going to Jacob. He had so much already on his plate.

When Tessa was poisoned, Eliza made a decision. She knew that Jacob would be furious with her, hate her even, but she couldn’t put it off much longer. Things for Erik were declining quickly and since no one else seemed to be noticing, she needed to do something. In her soul, she knew she was making the best choice.

After Erik had eaten and gone to bed, Eliza walked the yard to Jacob’s house. Her mouth dried and her heart beat against her chest as the adrenaline began to race through her veins. She hadn’t been this afraid of anything before. She tried to calm her breathing as she stood on the doorstep and knocked.

As soon as Jacob opened the door, he grabbed Eliza up in his arms and carried her inside as he walked backwards across the threshold. “I’ve missed you so much. Thank you for coming over.” Jacob put her down in the hallway and kissed her deeply. He parted her lips with his tongue and cupped her face as he swirled his tongue around hers.

Eliza put her hands against his chest and pushed him away gently. “Jacob I need to talk to you.”

Jacob looked at her with a questioning look on his face and said, “ok,” as he led her into the living room. He pulled her down to the couch to sit beside him. “What’s going on Eliza?”

Eliza took a deep breath and said, “ I’m going to take Erik to your parents tomorrow and I’m not coming back Jacob.”

Jacob stood up and faced Eliza, wiping his hand across his mouth.

“What are you talking about? You’re not really serious right now?”

Eliza stood up and said, “Jacob Erik is a mess. He needs his family.”

“I’m his fucking family Eliza,” Jacob said loudly. He was trying to keep calm but Eliza was stepping on territory that she had no right to.

“Your father told Erik he could come there, he wants to. He’s just afraid of making you upset.”

Jacob chuckled. “ Yeah, I’m pretty goddamned upset right now.”

She walked closer to Jacob and said, “ You don’t have the time to spend with him like he needs. He’s depressed and he wants to see his parents. He’s worried about Tessa and his siblings. It’s not fair to force him to stay here.”

“Not fair? None of this is fair. You think I don’t miss them too? That I'm not worried? And now you just want to leave me too? You told me you weren’t going anywhere Eliza.”

Eliza looked down at her feet and then said, “Jacob, just a few days ago, you told me that you would do anything to keep me safe.”

“That’s right I did. And I will,” Jacob said as he got in her face. She wasn’t comfortable with this aggressive attitude and she backed away.

“Logan took every precaution to keep his family safe, everything he could think of he did and look at what happened. Your poor mother and your brothers nearly died. Jacob, Marissa almost drank that poison too. If Haldir hadn’t stopped her, she would be dead. Logan did everything right and this still happened.”

Jacob’s eyes teared and he looked away from her. “You can’t keep me safe. You can’t keep Erik safe,” said Eliza. Then she began to cry and her voice faltered, “I’m so very sick of this ugly world. Tessa. My parents. Avery.All this misery and suffering. For what? Why? I don’t want to be part of it anymore.I just want to go home Jacob.”

Jacob looked back at Eliza. He couldn’t stand to see her hurting. He grabbed her and brought her close in his embrace.

“I don’t want to lose you. Please stay with me.”

“Oh Jacob. I’m just so crazy about you. But, this, all this isn’t for me. I told you I’m not a fighter. You people, your kind, you’re fighters. I just don’t have it in me Jacob. I want peace and I want to not be afraid every moment that the people I love are in danger.I’ll never have that here. There will always be some enemy waiting. I can’t live like this Jacob. I certainly don’t want to bring children into this world. You say that you know, you’re so sure that what happened to Tessa was because you crossed the Order, but yet you’re so ready to go to war with them. When does it end Jacob? What happens next time? What if that was me, our baby?Everything you want...the pack, the alpha, retribution for your mother... it’s just not what I want. I’m so sorry. I just can’t do this.”

“I can’t just abandon the pack Eliza.”

Eliza shook her head and stepped closer again, “I would never ask you to Jacob. I want you to be happy,even if it means it’s not with me.”

Jacob pursed his lips and then clenched his jaw. He was angry and confused. He wanted to lash out, to tear his house apart in anger, to throw a lamp into the wall.

He turned away from Eliza and paced the floor for a moment then said, “Fine. Fine. Just go. I’ll come see Erik in the morning and then you can leave. Now, please just go.”

Eliza was hurt, even though she wanted this, it hurt that he could let her go so easily. But, she just backed away then walked out of the room and then the front door.

As soon as the door shut, Jacob allowed his primal side to take over. He punched the wall. He took the lamp and tossed it across the room, breaking into pieces on the floor. He yelled and cursed as he destroyed his living room.

When he had exhausted himself, he went to his hands and knees then put his head on his hands. “Goddamn it!” he yelled.

“That’s brilliant you dumbass,” said a familiar voice. Jacob looked up and saw Haldir sitting in a chair along the far wall. “Do you feel better now?”

“Fuck off Haldir, I’m not in the goddamned mood.”

“Well that’s obvious. So are you not even remotely interested in hearing about your mother and father?” asked Haldir sarcastically.

Jacob stood up and said, “ Of course I am. I just don’t need your shit right now.”

“Right. Cuz Jacob just has it so hard right now. Sorry to inconvenience you boy. I’ll go visit your brother and when you stop feeling so fucking sorry for yourself, you can come talk to me with some goddamned respect like a man.”

Then, Haldir misted out.

Jacob paced the room then started taking some deep breaths. His wolf was so close to the surface. It wanted to take over and go after Haldir in the worst way. But Jacob knew that’d be a mistake. He was no match for him and even though Haldir loved Tessa, he wouldn’t put up with that kind of behavior from Jacob.

Jacob went to the kitchen, took a beer from the refrigerator and chugged it down. He needed to calm down before he faced Haldir again. Before he saw Eliza.

It was unbelievable how his life had gone so downhill so fast. Just about a week ago he was planning on getting married and had his entire family around the dinner table. Everything was perfect. But his actions had come home to roost. He thought he had learned his lesson already, but the Fates had other plans for him. He was about to lose everything he cared about and he had no idea how to stop it.