Felix
We got back to our room and all sat on the bed. Alex had his to-do-list face on: placate Chasity, check. Calix had his biggest puppy-dog eyes on display. Those two had dragged me into this dishonest mess unwittingly. I wanted to make one thing clear.
“I’m angry too, you know,” I said, not looking at anyone in particular.
I faced my brothers. I took a deep breath. I could not believe them. The audacity.
“Since when do we keep secrets from each other?” I asked, glaring at them.
Alex and Calix looked at me, their guilt leaking into their expressions. They exchanged a glance. What? Were they mind-linking without me now too?
You better not be mind-linking behind my back! Or in front of my face or whatever! You know what I mean! I snapped.
“I’m sorry, Felix,” said Alex out-loud, his jaw set.
He seemed genuine.
“Sorry, Felix,” mumbled Calix, looking at the floor.
I softened a little but I was still livid. My Baby was quiet.
“We thought you’d blab to Chasity!” Calix confessed.
“Yeah, except you blabbed to Chasity,” Alex pointed out.
Ha!
“I deserve to know,” said Chasity softly but firmly.
She was getting more assertive and I was glad about that but this was one of those things she should not even have to ask of us. We had so many things to work through. We could not pile secret-keeping on top of that.
“Of course, you do,” admitted Alex, keeping his voice low and his tone gentle.
I half-wished she was more upset with them. I deserved to be in here with her alone like Calix on Christmas Day. I sulked quietly while Alex tried to comfort Chasity.
Alex
I felt awful. I hope Chasity knew how remorseful I was. I just wanted to hold her so badly. I hoped she would not push me away this time. I drew her to me slowly, pulling her onto my lap and into my arms. I just needed her to know how much I wanted her to notice me as pathetic as that might sound. I just wanted an unencumbered shot at her love, which was technically already impossible because of our history together. When Dad told me this particular secret, about Chasity’s Dad being the stepbrother of our Mom, I panicked. It was yet another nail in the coffin, another thorn in my side, another hurdle. I wanted to at least shelf it while I won Chasity over. I wanted my Luna. I wanted Chasity. I had always wanted my Luna to be Chasity whether I could admit it to myself or not.
“I wasn’t lying when I said I’ve always thought you were beautiful,” I said, cupping Chasity’s face and looking her in the eyes. “I wanted a chance with you. I didn’t want to complicate an already horrible situation,” I admitted. “That was selfish of me and I’m sorry,” I said in earnest.
I turned to Felix. I had wronged him too. He was being pretty reasonable by hotheaded Felix standards.
“I almost forgot I was keeping it from you and Chasity,” I said to him. “I kinda pushed it aside. I just wanted to be happy.”
Chasity relaxed a little in my arms. I could feel her she-wolf calling out to my own wolf.
“It’s ok, bro,” muttered Felix to my surprise.
I looked at him and he gave me a slight smile. He really was trying to cool his temper for Chasity’s benefit. I looked over at Calix to see how he was doing. He was being very quiet. I had misled him on this one and I felt guilty about that too.
Calix
Did Chasity hate me now? My wolf told me to stop being ridiculous. Maybe she was at her rope’s end with me. My wolf disagreed. He told me to ask her outright and see for myself.
“Chasity,” I whispered, looking at her with wide, frightened eyes. “Do you hate me?” I breathed.
Chasity looked shocked by my question, her expression softening instantly.
“No!” She said, stressing the word. “Calix, I love you,” she insisted looking me in the eyes.
Alex was looking at her, hope blossoming in his eyes. There was a flash of envy in Felix’s eyes.
“And I love Alex,” continued Chasity, emphasising the word again.
She was such a forgiving and benevolent Goddess, one worthy of such high praise. We didn’t deserve her but we were determined to rise to the occasion.
“And Felix didn’t do anything this time but I love Felix,” specified Goddess.
“I love all of you,” she said, looking at each of us in turn, impressing the depth of her feelings upon us, wanting us to feel secure.
We were all lit up like Christmas trees.
“That’s why it hurts so much,” she explained, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.
Our faces fell a little. Chasity opened her eyes and looked at us. She seemed to have made up her mind about something.
“I want to know where my parents are,” she said, her tone determined.
That had not been a part of the secret but I automatically turned to Alex, the keeper of all answers.
Alex
Everyone was looking at me. I met my Luna’s eyes. I almost wished I knew. I wanted to give her a satisfying answer. She deserved one.
“I don’t know,” I said apologetically.
I just hoped that she believed me. She seemed to.
“We really don’t,” said Calix in earnest, backing me up.
Felix shrugged. He had been none the wiser about any of this.
“Do your parents know?” Asked Chasity.
“They might,” I said hopefully.
Calix nodded.
“So your Mom really cared about my Dad even though he was just her stepbrother?” Inquired Chasity.
I looked at Calix. He had recently told me about that day, about how he had watched Mom sink to her knees in the snow and cry as the car drove away. That had been the day I had first laid eyes on Chasity. She had been such a tiny thing with pink cheeks and a pink nose with golden skin and golden curls and brown doe eyes.
“Yeah, she was devastated when he drove away and left you,” confessed Calix. “She had thought he was coming back into her life after being estranged because of her dislike for your Mom only for him to leave again, skip town and leave you behind on her porch.”
Chasity flinched. She let out a soft sigh.
“Do you think your Mom hates me?” She asked.
“She doesn’t,” said Calix immediately.
I was not so sure about that myself but Calix had a hard time seeing Mom’s faults. “She’s afraid you’ll hurt us,” explained Calix.
I could feel Chasity’s frustration and I found it warranted. She had been the one who got hurt. Not anymore though. I was going to protect her, encase her, insulate her with my love. I would not let a repeat of today took space. She needed to be able to trust me implicitly.
“She felt as though your Dad, her little stepbrother, was taken away from her and ruined by your Mom,” I said in as gentle of a tone as I could.
I wanted to make it clear that these were Mom’s thoughts not ours.
“She was upset when she realised we belonged to you like your Dad had belonged to your Mom. She felt she had let trouble in her house again,” I continued, my tone apologetic.
I was not so naive as to think my Mom justified in her feelings and her maltreatment of an innocent child. I wished I had been strong enough even as a child myself to see the error of both my parents’ ways earlier. Chasity, though not a blood relative, was still my Mom’s niece by marriage, her step-niece, a fact that made my Mom less forgivable in my eyes.
“What does the Luna think my father would think of how I was treated by her and you all growing up? Asked my Luna.
My old friend, Guilt, was back. Calix pouted. Even Felix was upset now. He was not innocent on this regard.
Felix
Chasity was right about my parents’ awful behaviour but her parents weren’t exactly a picnic either. We were the same. We all had questionable parents. No parent was perfect but both Chasity’s and ours were severely lacking in my opinion.
“Any good father would be outraged but your father isn’t exactly a good father, Baby,” I said in what I hoped was a gentle tone but gentle wasn’t my forte.
“What?” My Baby asked sharply, narrowing her eyes.
“Baby, he left you,” I said softly.
Her father abandoned her on a doorstep as did her mother.
“He was protecting me from something!” Insisted Chasity, her voice thick.
She got up off the bed and was about to storm away. I was not about to let her go. She needed to face this.
“ENOUGH!” I yelled a lot more loudly than I had meant to.
My wolf snarled at me for yelling at his stan, Chasity.
Alex stiffened, looking at me like I was crazy. Calix looked shocked by my outburst. Chasity sat back down on the bed, her eyes wide.
“You’re going to be the Luna of our pack and you have to grow up, Baby!” I said, not backing down. “Your father and mother were irresponsible. They had substance-abuse problems. None of this would have befallen you or them if they had made different choices. If you’re gonna hold us accountable, you’re gonna hold them accountable too. Your parents were not a fairytale, Baby!” I said.
Tears rolled slowly down Chasity’s cheeks. I felt awful but it needed to be said. Alex was rubbling her back, trying to comfort her. Calix squeezed her hand reassuringly.
“I can always count on Felix to make sure I never stay the least favourite for long,” said Calix, trying to diffuse the tension with some humour.
I had to hand it to him. He got me there. I rolled my eyes though and folded my arms as I stood before Chasity. I was surprised Alex had nothing to say. I had thought he was a few seconds away from using her eldest Alpha voice.
“I know they were addicts, ok,” admitted Chasity, her voice barely a whisper.
My heart broke watching her turn away from me and crawl under the covers, defeated. Instinctively, we all tried to get under the covers with her to cuddle her.
“Please, I just wanna take a nap, by myself,” she pleaded, refusing to look at us. “I won’t change rooms but I want to be alone right now.”
I was relieved that she would at least be in bed with me tonight. I had not completely blown it then. Alex let out a heavy sigh.
You’re not wrong, Felix, but you could’ve been kinder about it, said Alex in my mind.
He always knew just what to say to make me remorseful. Ugh. I wished I was better at conversations like this.
Alex rubbed Chasity’s back and kissed her cheek.
“Sleep tight, Luna,” I heard him murmur in her ear.
Alex gave me a pointed “fix this” look.
I know I was a bit harsh, I admitted.
I know the lying is on me but this is on you. Stay behind and make it right, encouraged Alex.
He left the room.
Calix hugged Chasity tightly and kissed both of her cheeks and her forehead.
Chasity is just protective of her parents’ memory because memories are all she has left of them. I know it’s make-believe when she acts like her parents were these amazing people but she needed something to get her through those years, explained Calix in my mind.
Ugh. Baby Boy Calix was right. Today was not my day. Even when I was the only one not on her bad side, I ended up putting myself there.
“I’ll be back, Goddess!” Calix promised, following Alex.
It was just me and Chasity now. I was grateful they were giving me some one on one time with her to ease the tension between us.
“I shouldn’t have yelled like that. Baby…,” I began, pausing, trying to find the right words.
“…I know you want your parents,” I said.
I wished I could magically deliver them to her. I could sense she was listening.
“I want you to have that chance but don’t go running off to do it,” I said decisively
I couldn’t believe I was doing this.
We’re doing this, insisted my wolf, in a rare addition. Don’t get me wrong. He loved snatching control and influencing my decisions but he was not a talker. He was as feral as they come in terms of Alpha wolves and that was saying something.
“I’ll help you,” I promised, feeling like I was signing all my common sense away like in that mermaid cartoon Calix used to make us watch on repeat when we were little.
Thankfully, it had the desired effect. A split second later, Chasity was sitting up in bed, her eager eyes on me.
“You mean that?” She breathed, hope blossoming all over her little face.
I nodded. She threw herself at me. Did I just say Chasity threw herself at me? Sure, I was used to girls doing that but never Chasity. This was a first. She wrapped her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. I held her to me, wrapping her up in my arms securely. I buried my face in her fragrant silky hair, inhaling deeply. She smelled so fucking good. I knew this was not that kind of moment but I got hard instantly. Chasity had me wrapped around her little finger and she was beginning to realise that. I needed to lay down some ground rules fast.
“There’s one condition,” I said.
Chasity grew tense in my arms.
“You’re not leaving with them, once we find them,” I said.
She was grown now. She was mated and marked by her three alphas. She was essentially a Luna though she had not taken up her post officially yet. She belonged with us. It occurred to me that Mom was gonna freak the fuck out when Chasity returned from vacation our marked Luna. I was not gonna let Mom steamroll over Chasity and I was also not gonna let Chasity’s parents come between us either.
Chasity seemed to relax a bit. She did not find my condition that harsh.
“What if they’re not…” she said, stopping, unable to say what she was afraid of.
She was right. Her parents would have come back for her had they been alive, wouldn’t they? I sighed. I was still going to investigate the situation and make it right.
“Well, by find them, I mean find out the story, what happened?” I clarified.
If they were gone, I would have to rule out murder.
“Even…who did it if they’re…you know. And it’s no big deal to kill the people responsible,” I added nonchalantly, hoping that would reassure her.
I would make sure justice was served. I was an Alpha. It was what I did.
“What?” She yelped, not seeming reassured.
I laughed a little, realising she did not like the idea of me killing someone, even a murderer.
“Baby, you’re mated to three alphas. We have a huge pack to protect from rogues, vampires, wizards, witches, human werewolf hunters. You think we’ve never killed before. Even baby-boy Calix?” I said, making sure she knew softy-poo Calix had snapped necks before.
She stared at me. I could sense our wolves communicating. My wolf talked to Chasity’s she-wolf more than he talked to me. Chasity’s she-wolf was not shocked that we were skilled at killing. In fact, I could sense her pride and my own wolf’s smugness. He was basking in her admiration. Chasity, on the other hand, was shocked.
“I don’t want you killing anyone to avenge my parents if it puts you and my other two alphas in danger,” she revealed.
My heart soared. My Baby was worried for us. She didn’t want to lose us. She really wanted to be with us. She better not play strong woman and try sneaking out to help us find her parents. She could be as strong as she wanted safely at home.
“And,” I said, stressing each word. “Your pretty little ass stays home while my brothers and I do the digging and the dirty work to get to the bottom of everything!” I said firmly, and that was final.
“Why…” she started to complain.
“That part is not up for discussion,” I said, my eyes turning black at her defiance.
Shit, we had just made up. Instead of feeling scared, sad or angry, Chasity got wet for me. I smirked. So she did like a little dominating. Good. I had much more where that came from. I tossed her onto the bed with just enough force so that she bounced a little but landed unhurt. She squealed as she hit the sheets. She had not been expecting that. She looked up at me, anticipating my next move. I knew she wanted to get physical but I had a ton of shit to do now that I had promised to play cold case detective. I could not fuck this up. Also, I wanted to make her wait. I was giving her what she thought she wanted: space. That was the fastest way to make her see she did not actually want that. She giggled to herself and I almost lost it but I remained strong.
“I’ll leave you to your solo nap, Baby,” I grumbled, forcing myself to head to the door.
She pouted at me.
“It’s what you asked for!” I said pointedly.
She wiggled round, getting comfortable in the bed.
“My brothers and I suddenly have a lot of work to do, Baby. See you tonight, Princess,” I said, smirking as I left the room.
“The things I do for love!” I yelled in the hallway, knowing those chuckleheaded knuckleheads were probably around.
Alex came into view and clapped me on the back.
“Is she okay? Did you smooth things over?” He asked anxiously,
“Yes and yes,” I said. “I’m a Smooth Operator,” I said, cracking my knuckles.
Calix came into view too as I reached the end of the hallway.
“I want to nap with Chasity,” he said.
“No, Calix, let’s give her a little bit of alone time. You just told me she needed it, remember?” Said Alex.
“Oh, yeah,” said Calix, unenthused.
“We have to talk anyway,” I said, not looking forward to their reactions to what I had already promised Chasity.
“We have to talk,” repeated Alex grimly. “I can’t wait,” he said sarcastically. “Felix, what did you do?” He asked immediately.
I grinned.
“It’s bad,” said Calix softly, looking at my grin.
“I love you guys, my brothers,” I said.
“It’s really bad,” said Alex with a sigh.
“Bad to the bone,” I joked.
“If you reference another eighty’s song, I will throw you off deck,” grumbled Alex. “Just tell us what you did,” he said anxiously.
“Don’t make Alex Rock the Boat, Felix!” Snickered Calix.
“So you’re not mad at him?” I asked, stalling, gesturing towards Calix. “He’s doing it!”
Alex looked at Calix.
“Nah, that’s a seventy’s song,” said Alex. “He’s clean.”
“Why do you know the release years of all of those songs?” Asked Calix, amazed.
“He’s Alex,” I said, rolling my eyes. “That’s why!”
Alex led us to the game room.
“Why here?” I grumbled, wanting to have this talk by the bar where the alcohol was.
“There’s darts here I can throw at you when I find out what you did,” said Alex.
I shoved Alex playfully and flopped down on a couch. Alex and Calix sat.
“Talk,” prompted Alex.