'I told you to never show your face to me ever again! You are nothing but a disgrace to my family' Tears streamed down Connor's cheeks as he sped down the driveway recklessly without the fear of getting involved in an accident. Maybe dying would do him more good. Besides, he already lost everything. His family's love and his woman, so what was the point of living?
The sound of his ringing phone caught his attention, so he pulled over at the side of the road and reached for the phone. He swiped the answer button when he saw that the caller was his best friend.
"Hey, man! How could you stand me up at the company today? I told you I had things to deal with and yet you never showed up?" His friend's angry voice thundered from the other end.
"It hurts, Khan... It hurts," Those were the only words Connor could utter as he rested his head on the steering wheel and more tears streamed down his cheeks. He whimpered like a newborn abandoned by his parents, but the only difference was that he was an adult. He was abandoned by the people he loved the most.
"Connor? What the hell is wrong with you? Are you crying? Where are you?" Khan's voice sounded from the other end, laced with worries and concern, but Connor could only whimper. Words failed him.
"Shit!" Khan's voice sounded one more time before the call disconnected, and the phone slipped from Connor's hand. Why was all this happening to him? Why did this have to happen to him just when he thought he was getting his life back together?
He wiped the tears in his eyes, clearing his vision before he started the car and drove off. He had no idea where he was headed, he had nowhere in mind, but he just wanted to leave. Stay alone in a place or maybe lock himself up inside a room and cry his eyes out until there are no tears left in his eyes.
He drove aimlessly down the road until he spotted a bar down the street, and without thinking straight, he slowed down and drove into the bar. He parked at the parking lot, stepped out of the car, and headed toward the entrance door, and the smell of alcohol and cigarettes welcomed him as he walked inside. The sound of buzzing music and the crowd of people cheering and dancing wasn't an exception.
He schemed his way through the crowd and soon managed to get to the counter where the waiters were.
"One bottle of vodka," He uttered subconsciously as he placed his card on the counter and pushed it forward to the waiter.
"One minute, Sir," The waiter who was in his twenties, excused himself and left to get his order, and soon came back and served him.
"If I fall asleep here, just take me to your VIP room. Don't call anyone," Connor said to the young man who stared at him for a few seconds before he nodded.
"Get me a pack of cigarettes and a lighter," He said to the waiter and he went to get it for him immediately.
"Thank you," He muttered and took the card from the waiter after he paid for the things he got. He slid his card back into his pocket. He took a stick of the cigarette then lit it, and began smoking it.
Connor sat, feeding his eyes with the people dancing and he wished he was that lively. He was hoping watching them would make him feel better, but instead, he felt bitter. It felt like the whole world was against him.
'Have you gotten home now, brother? I'm sorry about what happened. It was all my fault. Don't be sad about it' he read the text from Claire that just popped on the screen of his phone, but he just scoffed and slid the phone back into his pocket.
He felt his fingers hurting, so he looked down at his hand and realized that the cigarette he was holding had burned to the butt. He dropped it on the ashtray and lit another one.
"Excuse me, Sir. Do you need me to get you anything?" The waiter from earlier spoke to him, and of course, he understood what the young man was talking about, but was he in the mood for that? His mind was messed up and fucking any bitch now was the last thing he wanted.
"No, I'm fine," He replied to the waiter casually then turned his gaze away and gulped down the fifth glass of vodka.
Barely five minutes after Connor took the sixth shot, he felt his head banging, his eyes spinning and everything started to spin. He rubbed his fingers on his eyes and winced silently. He wanted to get rid of his thoughts for some time with the vodka, and it worked because the only thing he could think of at that moment was alcohol and cigarettes.
Even with the pain in his eyes and head, he still went ahead to pour himself another glass, and just when he was about to drink from it, someone snatched it from him and dropped the cup on the table.
"What the fuck are you doing to yourself, man? Do you fucking want to die?" Even though he was drunk and was barely conscious of the things happening around him, he still recognized the voice as his best friend's, so he managed to raise his head to look at Khan, and a drop of tears slid down the corner of his cheek.
"Shit!" Khan cursed under his breath then ran his fingers through his head and sighed briefly.
"I want to die... Yes, I fucking want to die," He whispered and gagged as he tried to stand up from the chair, but he staggered and almost slumped on the ground if not that Khan was fast to get him...
*****
Connor woke up with his head banging hard, so he winced and held his forehead as he squeezed his face.
He sat up on the bed lazily and when he managed to look around, he realized that he was inside his room.
"Where am I?" He mumbled even though a part of him was sure he was in his room.
Just then, the door opened and Khan walked inside.
"You are awake?"
"Hey! What are you doing here?" He groaned as he rubbed his fingers on his forehead, but Khan only rolled his eyes and dropped the teacup he was holding, on the center table in his room.
"Well, all thanks to you, I spent the night here. Anyway, I got you this. You should drink the tea to help you sober up," Khan said to him as he went to sit on the sofa.
"How did I get here? The last time I remember, I was at a..." He paused and ran his fingers through his hair as he tried to remember what happened, but his head hurt so he gave up.
"You were at the bar. You drank a whole bottle of vodka and on the second one before I came to your rescue. Did you really desperately want to die?" Khan leaned forward and asked.
"I want to be left alone," He said as he managed to stand up from the bed and staggered into the bathroom. He leaned over the WC after he dragged himself inside, and threw up inside. This time, he felt a bit relieved. He proceeded to wash his face, and when he was done, he went back into the room, only to still find Khan seated on the sofa. Not that he had expected less, anyway.
"I told you I wanted to be left alone," He uttered as he reached for the teacup and drank the content to the last drop.
"Thanks for this," He said to Khan casually as he walked over to his nightstand and pulled out the drawer. He took out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.
"What do you think you are doing, Connor?" Khan shrieked.
"I told you I want to be left alone, Khan," He replied to Khan casually as he took out a stick and lit it. He puffed smoke from his mouth as he held the cigarette in between his index and middle fingers.
"You can't keep doing..."
"Out of my room, Khan," He said calmly as he ran his fingers through his hair, and Khan knew best to leave him by himself for now.
"Damnit!" Connor cursed angrily once it was only him inside the room...