Chapter 14
Chapter 14
Seated in a little café just a small distance from the hospital, the silence that settled heavily in the air between Joslyn and her father was a taut one. They each sat completely immobile, their heads downcast as they busied themselves with staring down at their beverages.
Lifting his head, Timothy scrutinized the figure of his daughter seated opposite him, the feeling of guilt ever constant whenever he saw her. His daughter had become a shell of the person she once was—and Timothy couldn't help but feel like he was to blame for that.
After the death of his wife, he'd receded into himself, becoming negligent of his duties as a father in the process. He’d abandoned Joslyn, leaving her all alone to shoulder the task of finding Joshua. Timothy had betrayed her, he'd failed her in so many ways but he couldn't even begin to know how to apologize and rectify his mistakes because although he was sorry, he did not think he was yet ready to be the father he once was to her.
“Sweetheart, your frappé isn't going to drink itself even if you stare at it for an eternity, you know.”
Her father's voice caused Joslyn to jerk back to reality and she finally raised her head to look at her father. She attempted a smile at his joke but was aware it only came off as a grimace, so she instead returned to sipping her drink once more before trying to quell the awkward air between them again.
Sitting up in her chair, Joslyn took a moment to watch her father closely before asking him, her tone completely earnest. “How have you been, Dad?”
Timothy shrugged in response, evidently trying to assume an aura of nonchalance—one Joslyn could see through to the hurting man beneath. “I’ve been alright, darling. You need not worry about me. How have you been?”
Joslyn remained quiet for a moment, pondering whether to probe him for the real answer to the question she had asked or to relent and instead answer him. She decided on a reply somewhere in the middle.
“I miss my family,” she whispered shakily, her voice shaky with emotion as her eyes began to prickle due to the welling tears. “I miss Mom, I miss Josh and I miss you, Dad.” Timothy visibly winced at her words but she powered on. “Since Mom p-passed on, I can’t help but feel lonely. As if I’m existing in this world without an anchor or a family, and there’s only so much Sig can do for me as my best friend. She’s trying her best, really but I need my father. I need you, Dad.”
Joslyn leaned forward in her seat, stretching her hands across the table to grab her father's in a tight hold. “Dad, I know you're still hurting, I am too. After all, she wasn't just your wife, she was my mother too. And the very last thing our family needed was another curveball in form of Josh going missing and…” she inhaled shakily, trying to muster the strength to say her next words, “and turning up h-half dead.
“But Dad, if we’re gonna get through this phase, we have to do it together. We have to be there for each other, be strong for each other. The last thing we should be doing is distancing ourselves from one another. Mom wouldn’t like that and neither will Josh.”
Joslyn watched as her father sighed heavily, his expression projecting the shame and regret he was feeling. “Sweetheart,” he murmured, tightening his hold on Joslyn’s hands in return. “It’s all my fault. I’m the one to be blamed for the distance between us. I’ve failed you as a father, Joslyn, and instead of manning up to make amends, I’ve been nothing but a coward and avoiding my responsibilities.
“When I should’ve been our family’s pillar, been the emotionally strong one, the one comforting you and reaffirming our hopes, I’ve been nothing but a wimp, drowning my sorrows in the worst possible ways; in ways your mother would never have approved of. And I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I’m so so sorry. Forgive your fuck-up of a father.”
Joslyn shook her head, her throat aching with the effort it took to keep her sob at bay. She gave her father a reassuring smile, something akin to hope finally blooming in her heart after the months-long bleakness. “There’s nothing to forgive, Dad. We have different ways to grieve, but once it’s starting to cause more harm than good to us, we should know when to stop. But I know we can weather this storm together, Dad; we have to. For Josh’s sake, OK?”
Timothy nodded, vowing to Joslyn to make amends and be less estranged. And thus, the air between them is one of tranquility without the former awkwardness and tension as the father-daughter duo enjoyed their time in the café.