Chapter 23 Ride
Elinra POV
I saw Candice standing quietly at the door corner, his tall figure half hidden by the shadows. The moment he realized I had sighted him, he pulled away as though he had been caught doing something wrong. He disappeared down the hallway before I could even think of calling him back.
Throughout dinner, the silence between Kaerlix and me felt like a heavy fog. We ate without exchanging a single word. Kaerlix did not attempt to look in my direction, not even once. He simply focused on his food, chewing slowly with that same cold expression that had begun to terrify me in subtle ways. My frustration simmered quietly inside me. When he finished eating, he stood up abruptly and left without acknowledging me. Not even a glance. He just left me sitting alone at the table like I was invisible.
When I finished my meal, I walked back toward the room they had given me. The corridors were silent, the walls tall and intimidating. The air was cool, carrying the scent of pinewood and something faintly metallic, almost like old memories sealed inside stone. When I entered my room, I lay down on the bed and stared blankly at the ceiling.
My mind felt fuzzy and strangely empty, like a snow globe that had just been shaken and left to settle. For the first time since I stepped foot in this pack, I felt my heart ache with a quiet pain I had been avoiding for weeks.
I missed my pack.
I missed them so much it burned in my chest. I did not want to admit it. I refused to admit it. I tried so hard to hate them, to convince myself that they betrayed me, so that I would not carry the guilt of missing them. But the truth whispered louder than every lie I told myself.
I missed home.
I missed the familiarity.
I missed what it felt like to have something that belonged to me.
And for the first time since arriving in this strange place, it felt as though I should run away. Run far. Run endlessly. Just run until the world blurred around me and I could breathe again. My pack would not welcome me back, I knew that. My father certainly would not. But even knowing that, the longing did not stop.
I missed running in the woods with Lola.
I missed the wind brushing through my fur.
I missed laughing freely without fear, even when nobody loved me in my father’s pack.
At least there, I had freedom.
Here, everything felt like a beautiful cage.
This pack was wild and cold. It felt quiet and dead at first, almost breathless. But when I stood by the window earlier, I was surprised to see movement. People walking around, living, breathing. This place was not as dead as I thought. There was life hidden beneath the silence. It was different from my father’s pack. Stricter, colder, but strangely peaceful. Maybe too peaceful.
No matter how much I thought about it, I could not deny that here, I had more peace of mind than I ever did back home. Even without freedom, the lack of constant judgment and cruelty soothed me in ways I could not explain.
So maybe I would choose peace over freedom this time.
Minutes later, the door snapped open, startling me. Candice walked in with a moody expression on his face, and I frowned slightly. His eyes were darker than usual, his jaw tense.
I sat up.
"I saw you peeping at the door earlier. Why did you not come in?" I asked, genuinely confused.
This was the first time I had ever seen Candice angry, and the sight puzzled me more than it scared me.
He walked toward me slowly, almost meticulously, like he was trying to hold himself together. His eyes held a quiet storm, and though he was trying to shield his expression, I saw it clearly. He was upset. I just did not know why.
"Nothing. I did not want to interrupt your conversation," he said with a small smile, but I frowned again. I knew he was lying. I knew he was hiding something.
"Judging from your reaction, I can tell easily that you are mad, and you are just trying to hide it," I said softly, my eyes fixed on him.
He chuckled, shaking his head as if trying to brush it off.
"No, I am not. Let me ask about you instead. When I walked in, you looked sad. Are you okay?"
I sighed, letting the sadness return to my face unintentionally. He noticed immediately. His frown deepened as he stepped closer.
"What is wrong? You look disturbed," he asked with genuine concern. And for a moment, I wanted to lie. I wanted to say I was fine. But the weight on my chest felt too heavy to hide.
How do I even begin to pour my heart out?
How do I tell him that I missed a place that never loved me?
How do I tell him that despite all the cruelty I endured, I still longed for the freedom I once had?
"I do not know. I am just tired of this place. I feel like running away," I blurted, no longer able to contain it.
His eyes widened instantly.
"Where are you running to?" he asked, his voice touched with despair. I knew he would not like this. But I could not pretend anymore. This place was suffocating me, slowly and painfully. I needed space. I needed to breathe. I needed to run.
"I do not know. I just want to run away. My wolf and I feel caged. I have not transformed in two or three weeks, maybe almost a month. It feels like hell. I am not free," I confessed, pressing my fingers against my forehead as a throbbing headache pulsed.
Candice remained silent for a moment, studying me quietly. Then suddenly, a warm smile lit up his face.
"What if I take you on a run with the horse? Will you come?" he asked gently.
A smile broke across my face immediately. Of course I would come. Anything to escape this suffocating room.
"Yes, of course. Let us go. I want to clear my head. I just want to get out of this room. It is suffocating me," I replied eagerly.
He nodded and stood up, motioning for me to follow him. Without hesitation, I rose and walked behind him.
We wandered through the pack grounds for several minutes. The night air was crisp and calming. The deeper we walked into the territory, the more alive everything seemed. The faint sounds of wolves, the rustle of leaves, the whispers of the wind. For the first time that night, I felt something resembling comfort.
Eventually, we reached the horse stable. The moment I stepped inside, my breath hitched. I had never seen such a beautiful, well maintained stable. Rows and rows of horses stood patiently, their coats clean and glossy. The place smelled of hay, polished wood, and fresh air. Compared to my father’s pack, this stable was a castle.
Different colors of horses stood with vibrant coats that looked almost magical under the moonlight. They waited quietly, as if longing for someone to choose them, to ride them, to set them free.
My eyes instantly locked on a brown horse with a long, silky mane. Something about her drew me in. I pointed at her immediately.
"This is the one we will use," I said to Candice.
He chuckled softly.
"Yes, this is Emily. She is about twenty one years old and one of the smartest horses here. I am surprised you picked her so quickly."
"Emily," I repeated softly, running my fingers across her mane. She was beautiful. Gentle. Calm. I connected with her instantly. I knew she would be perfect for the run.
Candice instructed the stable workers to prepare her.
"Maintain this horse for us. We will be using her," he said with a firm tone. The man bowed respectfully and began grooming Emily.
Once she was ready, they brought her out. Unlike the other horses who seemed restless and energetic, Emily remained calm, almost as if she understood exactly what I needed.
Candice climbed onto her first, then stretched his hand down to me. I took it and climbed up with his help until I was seated comfortably behind him. I smiled unconsciously, feeling a flutter of excitement.
"Hold me tightly. We are going on a long run," Candice said with a playful tone.
My heart skipped. I hesitated for a second, wondering where to place my hands. Eventually, I held onto his shoulders. He chuckled quietly, the sound sending a strange warmth through my chest.
He whipped the reins gently. Emily took off instantly. I flinched at the sudden speed, almost losing balance, but I quickly gripped Candice’s waist tightly. The wind rushed past us, cool and refreshing,
blowing away the suffocation and heaviness inside me.
For the first time in weeks, I felt alive.
.