Chapter 31

Janine and her mom were busy preparing for the Christmas Eve celebration while Porter and Mr. Kwon were busy fishing in the sea.

Janine didn’t expect her parents to be so open and welcome with Porter but at least they are. She doesn’t know how to deal with parents not being okay with a daughter’s friend, anyway.

“Does Porter not have a girlfriend?” Mrs. Kwon asked her.

Janine paused on making kimbap and looked up to her mother. “He doesn’t.” Because she is the apple of his eyes, Mother. There’s no other woman because Janine is the one.

Mrs. Kwon raised her brow. “Is he really that close to you?” She asked her again.

Janine suddenly grew nervous. What if her mother notices that there’s something about her and Porter? What would her mother think of her?

Ah! Why is everything so hard?

“Yes, Mom.” Janine replied and she immediately resumed to making kimbap. Her father loves the kimbap she makes.

Mrs. Kwon just nodded but she was still in doubt of what the two really are. No girl would normally bring home a friend but it is her daughter. She didn’t want to conclude that fast.

“Just be careful of what you do.” Her mother told her.

Janine looked up to her and nodded. “I am, Mom.” She replied as she felt really bad for everyone around her.

Sure she doesn’t know what she feels right now but can you blame her if being with Porter gives her this certain different feeling from being with Johann?

Happiness is subjective and would you blame her if she’s being happy with Porter and Johann? Would you blame someone who searches for her own happiness? No. She’s just caught up with a funny situation. She’s one victim of a fucked up situation.

Not long after, Porter and Mr. Kwon came from fishing.

“Janine!” Her dad called her just as he entered the door. “Your friend got it for the fishes! He caught a big one!” He beamed as he tapped Porter’s shoulders.

Janine looked at Porter and smiled. Somehow, even though she’s nervous of how her parents would view him and her, at least they don’t show it face to face.

Porter just shrugged at her and smiled. Janine rolled her eyes shaking her head. “You have a good luck, I guess.” She shrugged.

Porter scoffed. “I got skills, Janine. Skills.” He beamed as he followed Mr. Kwon to the lawn for the grilling of the fishes they caught.

Janine watched him walk to the lawn and smiled. Is she getting used to Porter’s conceitedness?

On the other side, Mrs. Kwon looked at how Janine watched Porter. Her eyes and her expression said it all. She’s fallen for a different guy.

--

“Have you met my daughter’s boyfriend?” Mr. Kwon asked Porter as they were grilling the fishes on the lawn of the house.

Porter paused from fanning the fish and smiled to himself weakly. “Johann?” He asked.

Mr. Kwon looked at L with a smiling face. “Oh! So you know him?” He beamed, surprised.

Porter nodded reluctantly and continued fanning the grill. “I’ve met him a couple of times.” He replied. This is how hard it is for Porter. He was introduced as a friend and now he has to endure all of the pain because her parents knew him as a friend. Only as a friend.

He wanted to be something more but how can it be when everyone doesn’t know how he feels for her? How could he when he couldn’t even tell her how much he loves her in front of a lot of people?

He is her little dirty secret. He is her second man. He is her other man. How can it be easy for him?

“Is he taking care of my daughter well?” Mr. Kwon asked.

Porter smiled and suddenly he wanted to say that Johann doesn’t. He wanted to say that if Johann did, he would’ve been here. Johann would be the one Mr. Kwon is grilling the fish right now.

But who is he to even say that Johann isn’t taking care of their daughter? He promised Janine that he wouldn’t be a reason for their fight. He promised that he would be contented with being her other man. And he would keep that promise. No matter how hard it would be for him.

“Yes. I guess he is always trying to stay in touch with your daughter.” Porter lied. Of course, he would lie. He didn’t want Janine’s father to be suspicious of him.

Mr. Kwon smiled. “That guy is a very responsible man.” He started to compliment Johann. “He was too persistent to get our approval.” He chuckled at the memory.

Porter looked at Mr. Kwon and tried to understand what he is trying to say. The father of the woman he loves is complimenting the boyfriend of the woman he loves. How hard and hurtful could that be?

“He’s too eager to be with Janine to the point that Patricia and I couldn’t stop him from being attracted to our daughter.” Mr. Kwon continued. “He courted us more than he courted Janine.” He chuckled as he flipped the fish to the other side.

Porter smiled weakly as his heart clenched in pain. How does he deal with this? How can he stop his heart from feeling weary whenever he is reminded of how he isn’t the legal one for Janine in the eyes of the many? How can he stop himself from longing that he’s the one?

“Then he is really a good man.” Porter spoke and smiled weakly. How he wanted this conversation to end. How he never wanted to have this conversation ever again.

Mr. Kwon chuckled again, not knowing how he is hurting Porter with his compliments on Johann. He is unknowingly pushing nails into the Porter’s heart and it is killing him.

“I know. That’s why I never wanted any other man for my daughter.” He beamed.

Ouch. Double ouch. Triple ouch.

“She found a great man.” Porter said in contrast of what he really feels. He wanted to tell him that Johann isn’t the one for her. He wanted to say that he can do better than Johann. But how could he?

He’s just Janine’s other man. How can he even find dignity for himself when he is into this kind of situation? How can he even be the one for her when he’s hidden behind the walls and at the back of sight of all the people around?

Mr. Kwon smiled. “You? Haven’t you found the one, yet?” He asked Porter.

Porter smiled. Has he found the one? “I think I have, Mr. Kwon.” He replied with a smile on his face. He should be considered a fool because he is smiling over a thought that could never turn into a reality. The possibility of being with Janine is even slimmer than a piece of paper but he would take it. He would take even 0.00000000001% of being with Janine. As long as there is a chance to be with her, he’d grab it whole-heartedly.

Mr. Kwon smiled and nodded. “I knew it. With a handsome and polite man like you, it’s impossible to not have a special someone.” He uttered.

Porter chuckled. “It’s not that I have her, Mr. Kwon. I found her but she’s not mine.” He replied and Mr. Kwon looked at him.

“Do you love her?” He asked.

Porter smiled weakly. “I’d die if I don’t see her in a day. Of course, I love her.” He replied. Mr. Kwon stared at him.

“She’s the only person who could make me want her even more.” Porter smiled. “I have never ever wanted something like this for all of my life.” He confessed.

Mr. Kwon looked at him. “Porter, son, if you want something, you should do everything to have that something. You should put in all your effort for you to have it,” he advised. “That’s the same with women. You should work hard and put a lot of efforts to be her man.” He smiled. “Don’t lose hope. If she’s the one for you, she’s going to be.”

Porter smiled at Mr. Kwon’s words. For the first time in a long time, he had heard a meaningful advice. If only Mr. Kwon knew that Porter was talking about his only daughter… If only they didn’t have to hide.

“What is this serious man-to-man talk all about?” Mrs. Kwon barged out of nowhere with Janine behind her bringing out all the dishes they prepared for Christmas Eve.

Mr. Kwon and Porter smiled as the girls prepared the table. “We’re just talking about how wanting someone includes efforts and hard work.” Mr. Kwon beamed.

Mrs. Kwon smiled and nodded. “Yes. Indeed. If you want something, you should work hard for it.” She agreed with her husband’s remark.

Janine looked at Porter and smiled weakly before she continued helping out on the table.

“Did you cook all these?” Porter asked as he walked to Janine’s side.

Janine gave him a look. “Well, of course, I did.” She beamed. “Don’t you know that I always cook at home?” She gave him a look.

Porter chuckled. “I didn’t know you cook because you’re always grumpy. Aren’t all cooks kind?” He teased.

Janine glared at him and rolled her eyes.

Porter smiled. “You’re still the best girl in my eyes.” He whispered and Janine immediately looked at her parents who weren’t watching. She sighed in relief.

“Stop that. They would notice.” She hissed as she naturally placed the kimbap she cooked on the table.

Porter smiled and helped her. “What?” He asked. “I’m just helping you.” He reasoned. “Is it wrong to help a friend?” He asked with emphasis to the last two words.

Janine looked at him. “Am I just a friend to you?” She asked and Porter stopped. He looked at her with narrowed eyes. “Do you want me to answer that?” He asked back and Janine bit her lip. It was a good thing that her parents weren’t watching. Because her face is as red and hot as the fire from the grill.