Stages of grief

Chapter 126: Stages of grief

MIA

For the first time in weeks, I finally stepped outside without feeling suffocated. My father had reluctantly let me out of the house, and I had gone straight to my gallery. I've missed being here, the familiar scent of fresh paint and polished wood, everything about art just brought joy to me.

I walked through the exhibits, my fingers trailing along the edge of a new canvas.

I wished I could talk to my dad about my relationship with Ethan and how much Ethan had changed.

Maybe if I had approached him differently, if I had convinced him to listen instead of pushing back so hard, things would have been better between us. But he refused to see me as anything other than his little girl, and I refused to be anything less than an adult who could make her own choices.

Now that I was finally out, I should have gone to see Ethan, too. I had spent too long keeping my distance, letting my father’s disapproval dictate my every move. But I told myself I would sneak out and go see him whenever the guards my dad asked to look after me were not watching.

My phone rang. I pulled it from my pocket, it was Aunt Cecilia. I wondered what new gossip she had for me.

“Hey, Aunt Cec…" I answered as I picked up the call.

There was a pause, then she said, "Mia, you need to come to the hospital. Now."

There was something in her voice that made my stomach clench.

"What? What’s wrong?" I grabbed my bag with one hand, already moving toward the door.

"It’s your dad…" Her voice cracked. "Mia, just come. Please."

The line went dead.

I hurriedly rushed out of the gallery to my car wondering what she meant, what was my dad doing at the hospital? I hope he was alright.

By the time I stumbled into the hospital, my legs felt numb due to fear. My eyes darted around the lobby until they landed on Aunt Cecilia, standing by the doors leading to the morgue.

I stopped breathing.

She turned to me, her face pale and wet with tears. "Mia…"

I shook my head. "No. No, no, no… What are you doing there aunt?"

She reached for me, but I took a step back. My whole body felt wrong, like I was slipping out of my own skin.

"This can't be what I'm thinking." I whispered.

Aunt Cecilia sniffled, leading me into the morgue. “I'm sorry Mia, I'm so sorry baby.”

The room was too white, too quiet. The moment I saw the body covered with a sheet, my knees nearly gave out.

I forced myself forward, taking one step at a time. The nurse pulled the sheet down, revealing his face.

It was really my father.

His skin was pale, his lips colorless. He looked like he was just asleep, like he could wake up any second and scold me for sneaking out or making reckless decisions.

But he didn't wake up.

A loud sob tore from my throat as I fell on my knees beside the cold metal table.

"Dad?" My voice was barely a whisper. "Come on, wake up…"

There was silence, he didn't say anything, maybe he wanted me to be louder.

“Dad, come on, don't play games with me. I promise I'll listen to everything you tell me to do. Please just get up.”

I reached out, my fingertips grazing his hand but he was ice cold.

Aunt Cecilia knelt beside me, her arms wrapping around me as we both sobbed. "I’m so sorry, sweetheart… I’m so, so sorry."

It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real then I saw another table, another body. The nurse lifted up the sheet and it was a familiar face.

My heart stopped.

"Ethan?"

I wrenched away from Aunt Cecilia and scrambled toward the second body, nearly knocking into the nurse. My hands trembled as I grabbed the edge of the sheet, yanking it down.

I screamed, “No. No. No… This cannot be happening.”

Ethan’s face was pale, his lips slightly parted like he had been about to say something. His chest was still, unmoving.

"Ethan?" My voice cracked. "No, please…"

I clutched his arm, shaking him gently. He didn’t respond. He was gone, too.

I let out a choked scream as I collapsed against the table, sobbing so hard my body shook.

First my dad, now my Ethan. It felt like my entire world had just collapsed in on itself.

I barely registered the sound of footsteps until Ava’s voice echoed through the room.

"John…"

I looked up just as Ava stumbled toward my father’s body, her hand flying to her mouth. Her breath came in short, sharp gasps as she gripped the table.

"John…no, no, no…" Her voice broke as tears spilled down her face.

She looked at me, her expression shattered. "What happened?"

I shook my head. I didn’t know. I didn’t know anything anymore.

Ava let out a choked sob, pressing her forehead against my father’s lifeless body. "You promised me, John… You promised me you’d be with me. What's this John?"

I turned back to Ethan, my fingers brushing against his cold cheek.

My breathing was too fast, I could hear it pounding from my chest. I wanted to scream, to demand that they take it back, that they check again. But I knew they wouldn’t because it was real.

I recalled the last time I saw Ethan and how he looked at me with so much love in his eyes, even though he was rushing to get somewhere. I recalled the last conversation I had with my dad, how he didn't see reasons with me. I wished I could turn back the hands of time and make everything right with them.

By the time I got to the house, my hands were shaking so badly I could barely open the door.

I didn’t know what I expected—maybe that walking into my home would somehow make this nightmare less real. That my dad would come out and tell me it was a prank.

"Mia," Aunt Cecilia whispered, her voice raw.

"I didn’t…" I choked on my words. "I didn’t get to talk to him. The last thing I said…"

She held me tighter. "I know."

I had spent so long being angry at my father, so long avoiding Ethan because I was too afraid of making things worse. And now, I would never get another chance.

Aunt Cecilia pulled me to sit on the couch, "Come sit down, sweetheart."

Ava, aunt Cecilia and I cried and talked about Dad for a while then I decided I needed to be alone. I went back to my room but I barely slept.

Every time I closed my eyes, I saw my father’s face—stern and disappointed, always trying to protect me in his own way. I saw Ethan’s smirk, the way he always looked at me like I was the only thing that mattered.

Now, all I had were memories.

The next morning, my phone rang again.

For a second, I thought it would be another call confirming what I already knew. But then I saw the name on the screen.

Marvin.

I hesitated before answering.

"Hey," I said, my voice hoarse.

"Mia," Marvin said, his voice filled with something I couldn’t quite place. "I just wanted to check in. I had a weird feeling, and…" He stopped. "Mia? What’s wrong?"

I opened my mouth, but the words wouldn’t come.

"Mia," Marvin’s voice sharpened. "Tell me what’s going on."

I squeezed my eyes shut. "Dad’s dead."

There was silence.

Then, he responded, "No. That’s not…" His breathing changed. "That’s not funny, Mia. Dad came to visit me a few days ago, he can't be dead.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I’m not joking, Marv. I got a call from Aunt Cecilia yesterday asking me to come to the hospital, then I went and saw his lifeless body. Our dad is really gone."

It was quiet again, this time it was heavy and suffocating. When Marvin finally spoke again, his voice was barely above a whisper.

"What happened?"

I wiped at my face. "I don’t know all the details yet. I just know that he was with Ethan and they…" My voice cracked. "They didn’t make it."

Marvin cursed under his breath. "I’m leaving."

"Marvin…"

"I’m leaving the facility," he said sharply. "I need to come home. I need to be there for you."

"You don’t have to…" I responded, sniffing.

"Yes, I do," he snapped, then softened. "Mia, I have to."

I closed my eyes. "Okay."

Because I needed him, too.

I hung up and stared at the ceiling, feeling the weight of everything pressing down on me. Dad was gone, Ethan was gone. Now I had to figure out how to keep moving forward, even when I didn’t know how.