Chapter 39 My Kitten
My eyes snapped to hers immediately, searching for any recollection of me, while my brain figured out different answers that best fit the situation.
Celene did not know about the mafia, and I did not know how long I was willing to hide that part of myself from her, especially after the new threat to her life.
I did not want to lie to her if she had truly remembered me. I was not going to tell her sone half baked truth about what happened to her and to the men that had tried to harm her at the club in California either. So, I needed to make sure she truly remembered me and was also ready to step into the knowledge of my dark world.
"Celene..."
"I don't know... you just seemed familiar all of a sudden... like I'vemet you before. Somewhere dark..."
She paused for a second, like she was really reaching into her mind to find memories of me buried inside her head. Finally, she shook her head.
"Forget it. My mind is just tired."
She didn’t remember me... she almost did, but she obviously could not justify why she would remember me. I did not know how I felt about that.
Should I tell her?
I opened my mouth, ready to come clean and explain when she turned her head towards the front of the car and sighed happily.
"I know i did not thank you for this, earlier... but Cole Ryder, thank you. For making my momma happy wherever she is in heaven and for making this lucky children happy"
Lucky... I would not pretend that I had not ended the lives of some of the parents of children who ended up here. But then again, in order to have me come after you, you probably were a terrible person too, so, I guess the kids were lucky not to be entangled with parents like those anymore.
"Look. At. All. That. Food!!!!!!!" She wispered excitedly. Like she wanted to scream, but did not feel comfortable around me to do that. Yet
I wanted her to be comfortable to do whatever she wanted.
I wanted her to be expressive around me, just like when she jumped around with the kids as though her life had not just been threatened.
If I had my way, it would’ve been just her out there, playing around, free and childlike in my presence.
The orphanage courtyard was just a square piece of land with grass and a few swings. Most of the land was situated at the back, but apparently they used the smaller space in front to better manage the children.
I noticed she had stopped looking at the children and was now boring holes at the side of my face, but i ignored her, looking straight ahead.
“Youre weird, Buenaventura. You know, Inhaling the food from a distance doesn’t fill you up, Cole. You actually have to eat it.”
“I wasn’t inhaling. Why are you here? Everyone’s over there.” I asked hoping to throw her off a little.
“You said you wanted to talk to me. And since you got here, you’ve been avoiding human contact altogether, I came to you.”
“Oh. Right.”
Talk. I could talk. I wanted to talk. Could I talk?
“How’s your shoulder?” of course she'd talk about the one thing I did not want her to talk about.
“That’s not what I want to talk about,” I said quickly.
She studied me, stroking her chin dramatically. I could tell she enjoyed making me uncomfortable. After a deep breath, she said,
“Fine. The book then. That’s what you wanted to talk about, yes?”
I nodded.
This was it—the moment I’d rehearsed alone, over and over. The fear that she’d think I was unhinged weighed heavy on my chest. I didn’t even know how to explain it.
If there was one thing I knew about Celene, it was that her mind was unpredictable.
With a deep sense of foreboding, I inhaled, and began to speak.