Chapter 36 Making Progress
“When my heat starts,” Raina murmured against Kian’s skin. He instinctively turned his head towards her to listen to her soft words while his fingers played in her hair. “I want to spend it here.”
Kian understood that loud and clear. They were just as loud here, but they had the illusion of privacy. He knew that everyone could still hear them, but they were further away from everyone that they felt like it was only them. If it made her more comfortable with the situation, he would gladly do it.
“Consider it done,” he told her and her body relaxed against his. “I’ll make sure the cottage is stocked by the end of today.”
They still hadn’t made it to the bed. They had settled on the sofa with her body draped over his with his arms circling her protectively. The fire newly refreshed, warming the cottage. Fire light danced about the room. The crackling of the wood as the logs burned in the hearth would always remind him that this was home to him now.
It had been hours and the first rays of sunlight were already trying to creep over the floorboards. He sighed, knowing he would be needed back at the pack house. For the past couple days, he had been focused on Raina, but he knew that the Elder Council and the World Council still lingered in the shadows. He needed to stop by Sterling’s office to fill her in on her new greenhouse. He also needed to check in with Jayce and Ridley to make certain they made it back safely. Sebastian also wanted him to oversee the new Deltas in action.
Today hadn’t even started and he already wanted it to be over. He dreaded leaving this cottage. He wanted to stay with his mate in this cottage — just them without any distractions or obstacles in their way.
There was one question and thought that was itching to come out. It dug at him like a thorn, twisting around his heart and chest. He needed to know the truth even if it hurt.
“Did you mean it?” he asked her. His voice was soft, hoping not to spook her.
She tensed for a moment and he automatically tighten his hold around her. “Mean what?”
“Last night.” He swallowed. He squeezed his eyes shut as if he was bracing himself for the failure. “When you…”
She chuckled when he had trailed off not quite certain how to describe it. She then took a deep breath and he could feel her body’s movement as she breathed, letting the silence strangle him as he waited in anticipation. If she didn’t mean it, where would they go from here?
“When I dominated you--” she goaded.
He growled at that. “I let you.”
“I still came out on top.”
He rolled his eyes at that. They both knew he could’ve flipped them over. The little shewolf was strong though, surprising him a bit. When she had slammed his hands down demanding control, he allowed her to have control. She was the only one allowed any control over him, because she could literally bring him to his knees by shattering his heart and soul.
Then there was more silence and he suffered through it. Would she even continue the conversation or just let it sit between like an invisible elephant in the room? He was exhausted by going around in circles and the constant one step forward then two steps back.
He needed a stable foundation. He needed to know if they were on the same page. It was killing him, because he didn’t know how she survived so long in state of unknowing, fluctuating between heartache and heartbreak, and suspended in anxiety.
“You’re mine, Kian,” she told him firmly and everything in him relaxed. The thorns around his heart eased. The breath he hadn’t realized he was holding finally released. “Last night, when you let me have control over you, I knew then that nobody would ever get to see you like that. You bow to nobody.”
He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Except you.”
“Only me,” she agreed with a nod of her head.
She lifted her head slightly, glancing up at him to see his reaction. He dropped a kiss on her mouth. It meant to be simple, but she pressed her mouth against his and that simple kiss left him breathless. Even though his body stirred with pleasure, he wanted this conversation to continue, but she seemed to have other plans.
She slid her leg over his hip and his dick hardened at her intention. His hands traveled to her hips to help hold her in place over him to prevent her legs from slipping off the edge. Her breasts with those rosy tips teased him as they swayed. Her hair hung down and dusted over his chest.
His breathing quickened as she lifted her body. Her eyes met his and he bit his bottom lip as he reached down to grab himself. He was thick and long in his hand. He rubbed the swollen tip of his dick against her folds, watching her wetness coat him.
Only when she moaned at being teased and he felt her body buzz with pleasure, he positioned himself at her entrance with his hand keeping him in place. With his other hand at her hip, he guided her to drop down. The moment she started to sink down, the fight to stay afloat started, because the feel of her around him was something he never survived. He always lost the battle of keeping in control of his restraint.
“That night,” she panted as she took him all inside of herself. He still didn’t know how a little creature like her could take him all, but he didn’t question it. He only knew she drove him wild. “You found me outside of your library crying…”
Confused and shocked, his eyes snapped to hers. She was discussing this now with her pussy stretched full with his dick? This was how she wanted to have this conversation with her seated on top of him.
“Raina…” he rumbled. He didn’t know he was giving her a warning or question of concern.
She leaned slightly forward. Her hands pressed on his chest as she lifted her hips up then eased back down. Both of their pleasure mixed, dancing through their bodies. She continued lifting her hips then dropping back down on him until he was panting.
“I thought I was hallucinating, but it was so clear and vivid,” she whispered as she start to bounce on top of him and pick up a tantalizing rhythm meant to destroy him. He sucked in a breath as he tried desperately to keep his mind clear, but everything was fighting against him. “I saw you pleasuring Mia in that office. You were on your knees in front of her. She was sitting on the edge of the desk. Your hand disappeared under her skirt and she was moaning and enjoying the pleasure you gave her.”
What the fuck?
He growled when she picked up her speed. Was she deliberately making this difficult for him to process what she was saying? His hand gripped her hips as he slammed her down on him and she moaned at his actions as he kept her firmly in place while he sat up.
“Raina.” Her name was a warning.
Her eyes sharpened, slicing into him. “I know it was real, Kian. I know it happened. Tell me it never happened.”
“It didn’t happen that night,” he told her firmly. His voice ragged from exertion, his rage building, and the rampant pleasure still resonating through his and her bodies. “And it didn’t happen in the last three years.” His hands gripped her hips as he roughly guided her up and down his dick to punish her for deciding this was the best time to discuss this. “It’ll never happen again.”
He grabbed her chin to force her to keep eye contact. Her cognac eyes didn’t hold any apology. He hadn’t expected them to. She knew what she was doing. Perhaps, she would’ve never told him what happened that night if she hadn’t been in this position. Maybe it grounded her to have his dick deeply inside of her to know where they both belonged.
For whatever the reason, he didn’t care. He was angry that particular memory was shown to her and he had no idea why. It explained why she had looked down at her chest that night, expecting to see a bruise. It explained her withdrawn injured wolf behavior as she tried to pick up the pieces of her shattered heart by licking her wounds alone.
Tears appeared in her angry eyes. “Why am I seeing it and reliving the pain?”
He growled, shaking his head. He didn’t know. He didn’t know how it was even possible. If the pain he felt that night was what she had to deal with all the time, he didn’t know how she survived all those years. Her strength and resilience to live was beyond him, but she was his fated mate. His fated mate rivaled his strength and resilience.
Except she had wanted to die in the end… and she had been driven to this conclusion because of the pain she endured.
“I don’t know,” he told her before pulling her in for a hard, punishing kiss.
His hands were once again on her hips as he guided her to rise up an down on him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, letting her body press flush up against him. It was almost like she was begging for comfort and he’d give it to her.
“We’ll figure this out,” he promised her as she felt her tears on his skin.
For now, his mate needed comfort and he’d do everything in his power to make her body, mind, heart, and soul feel safe. Whoever was responsible for this would pay with their blood and life. He’d make sure of that.
Kian was called to the pack house mid morning. Even though Kian had allowed her to accompany him now with pack affairs, Raina wanted to sleep a little and stay longer at the cottage to fix it up. Kian almost seemed relieved by that. Before he left, he told her that Meri would be here by the time she finished her shower.
They still had a lot more to discuss, but she was grateful that he wasn’t pushing it to come out all at once. She needed time and he knew that. It took her forever to get to this point where she and Kian were now discussing that they were fated mates without her trying to escape.
When she finished her shower, she stepped out of the small bathtub and heard voices echoing in the cottage. She recognized Meri’s voice. She wrapped a towel around her head and then another one around her torso. She ventured out into the bedroom to find the signature Delta outfit of sweatpants, a shirt, and hoodie.
She smiled, knowing Meri must have put it on the bed when she had arrived and she was in the shower. She quickly changed, feeling the aches of her body. She should sleep a little, but she was a little hungry and wanted to make something to eat before giving into sleep.
Fixing the hood of her hoodie as she walked out of the bedroom until the living room, her eyes took in the maid, a new lady by the looks of it, diligently cleaning the counters in haste. She could smell the distinct smell of strong cleaning products as well as floral aromas. The windows were open, letting in fresh air probably in an attempt to air out the strong scent of sex.
The sofa that she and Kian had soiled with their sins was no cleaned, tidied up, and put back together, which was good because Poppy was sitting on it. Raina’s eyes shot over to the maid who blushed. She gave the lady a slight smile and mouthed a quick thank you. The maid’s eyes lit up and she continued to clean but less frantic.
Meri was standing at the window, looking out of it to scan the surroundings before her eyes drifted to Raina.
“Good of you to join us,” Poppy said as she jumped up when she realized Raina was there. Raina raised an eyebrows when her best friend rushed over to her and tackled her with a hug. “Thank Goddess you’re alive! There were so many rumors going around at the pack house and I hadn’t seen you for a bit!”
Guilt immediately set in and Raina returned her hug. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.”
“Oh and this,” Poppy growled as she reared back slightly then playfully punched her in the arm. “Is for you not telling us that you could’ve died that night! Sterling told me! You can’t lie to me and tell me anything differently! I would’ve never forgiven you if you died at her stupid pond!”
Meri’s eyes widened in surprise and her mouth dropped open slightly. Only Poppy could get away with being… Poppy. She was clever and intelligent beyond her years, but her quirkiness was her charm. It was too bad that she never showed this side to her actual fated mate, because Raina was certain Sebastian would be fascinated by her.
“Well, I’d be dead,” Raina teased her. “I don’t think I’d be asking for your forgiveness...” She trailed off when Poppy started to smell her with a confused expression her face. “Poppy, what in the world are you--”
Poppy gasped in surprise. “Did you stop taking you scent suppressants?”
“What? No!”