Chapter 3 His
Raina had left Kian and Sebastian to spar to help Kian let of some steam. Most fated mates would’ve been happy to hear so fiercely Kian held on his beliefs. It only caused fear to fracture her already cracking facade. Everything he said was worming into her pathetic heart and soul, but she wouldn’t allow herself to believe in fairytales. She wasn’t built for happy endings, because she wasn’t a princess for a prince.
Plus, she had finally gained his respect and trust.
And she finally gained his attention.
She finally meant something.
She wouldn’t give that up on Kian’s change of heart, because she knew he wouldn’t ever see her beyond his Beta. She was his best warrior. She had set out to accomplish something that more realistic and she achieved it. She was useful to him this way. Having grown up a tomboy, it was easier to blend in with the guys.
Lunas were a paradox… and she was all rough edges.
She was not Luna material. Lunas were beautiful, dignified, respectable, respectful, and sophisticated. She was none of those things. The Elder Council would never accept her as their Luna and neither would the pack neither would the world beyond their pack.
Even after Mia and him had broken up, she never once entertained the thought of revealing her secrets. At least, for the time being, she didn’t have to cope with the soul, mind, and body pains of him giving his body to somebody other than her. For now, she didn’t have to take the cocktail of pills Sterling gave her to combat the years of betrayal. She didn’t have to constantly put that cream over her bruises only for them to return later, because he couldn’t get enough of Mia.
It was one of the reasons why she was glad she was a warrior. Her attire covered her body. It was only when she alone in the privacy of her room that she saw the proof of her sacrifice. When she was alone, she could let her tears fall. When she was underneath the spray of the shower, she could just wash away her hidden pain, because she was used to it. She justified the punishment for not being like Mia.
When Kian was shouting at her for wanting to wait for his fated mate, that fear flared, because she wasn’t ready to reveal herself. She wasn’t ready to be put in the spotlight to be judged for her ineptness. She wasn’t ready for Kian’s inevitable rejection. She wasn’t ready to expose the ugly truth.
Every time he had touched Mia, it burned her and broke her soul. Every time, she pieced herself back together, knowing she would only shatter again. It was hell and she had become used to the pain for years until she didn’t anymore.
She missed it, because it reminded her of her place and she was getting used to not feeling it. That was dangerous, because she knew that eventually, that same hell would be breaking her soul apart again.
Perhaps, she was a masochist, but there was no sense of hoping for a different outcome.
She knew better.
He would never love her like she loved him and she wouldn’t force him to.
She groaned, knowing she showed disrespect. She knew it wasn’t her place to berate him like that. Shutting her eyes, she took a deep breath before heading back to the training grounds to make amends with Kian.
When Raina left, Kian glanced over at Sebastian. His best friend’s eyes were narrowed, watching Raina before they bounced over to him. Kian raised an eyebrow at him asking him silently what he was up to.
“I never thought I’d ever see her scared,” Sebastian finally said.
Kian frowned. “Scared?”
“Has she ever raised her voice to you before?”
He opened his mouth, but he realized that she hadn’t. This was the first time she had… at least to him. She had raised her voice to the Gammas and Deltas even to Sebastian, but she never did with him. She was usually calm and reserved. She fought with fire and precision, but she was controlled fire.
“No, this was the first time,” he admitted. She never had blatantly showed disrespect either. She never did. She knew her rank.
Sebastian smirked. “And strangely enough, you took her anger and disrespect like she was your Luna--”
“Don’t you dare,” he warned.
He knew where Sebastian was going with this. He was already getting this from the Elder Council. He didn’t need more matchmakers. Raina was not somebody that he could pin down like a beautiful butterfly on display. She wasn’t meant to be put on display.
She was a warrior. His warrior.
She was strong and wild at heart.
His fierce she-wolf.
Independent.
“I’m just saying, Kian,” he cut in. “If you had to decide on a mate, she’s the best choice for you.”
It wasn’t that she wasn’t beautiful. She wasn’t like Mia in that delicate flower type of beauty. No, she was…
“Square up.” His eyes flashed. He needed a distraction from everything going on in his life but especially this.
“She’s--”
She was wild, stubborn, and strong. She would fight for her pack with every breath she had. She was loyal and he trusted her with his life.
Yes, she would be a perfect Luna — the perfect choice, the perfect candidate. That thought tore into his mind and buried deep into his soul like it belonged there. Before he could stop his mind, it went south to a place she hadn’t really been. Ever.
Those eyes staring at his before he brought her over the edge.
That body of hers toned to be a weapon — his weapon — riding him wildly before he flipped her over to attempt to fuck her into submission. She was that kind of woman that a wolf could both fuck and make love to, because she could handle it. She would demand for it, because she wouldn’t allow him to hold back.
She would want all of him as expected.
It was like Pandora’s box.
Once that can of worms was open, he couldn’t unsee this vision of her.
Where was the wolf that was just swearing up and down that he was waiting for his fated mate? He growled, realizing how easily he thought about possessing his Beta and having her become his Luna like it was the easiest solution to his problems. Why did it feel so right to have those thoughts circling his mind when before it never crossed his mind?
“Fucking square up, Sebastian. Get your ass over here now.”
He smirked. “Did I get under your skin?” he teased, slowly walking over to position. “Are you seeing your Beta in a whole new light?”
“I would never touch Raina Winters not even if she was the last she-wolf!” he shouted out his denial, but his thoughts were betraying him. In his mind, his hands gripped her hips as he forced a relentless pace on top of him that she matched with precision. “She is my Beta — just my Beta. There is a line.”
“Right,” Sebastian chuckled, easily dodging his swipe. “It’s the muscles, right? I mean who would want a she-wolf that could best you. She could probably manhandle you. Rip you apart. Maybe the scars that never healed? Too many calluses, right? You like your women soft and delicate like Mia.”
Sebastian’s dark laugh echoed in the empty training grounds and anger flared inside of him like a wildfire.
This wild rage fueled him as he went for Sebastian. Sebastian masterfully sidestepped him, but he quickly maneuvered to counter him. His best friend went flying savagely into the mat with so much force that he heard a soft curse.
“You’re lying,” Sebastian whispered, not even keeping his physical pain out of his voice.
“I’m not.”
“Then why did you almost murder me with one move?” he asked. One eyebrow lifted in question.
He opened his mouth to deny him, but he sighed. “She’s not meant to be some caged bird, Sebastian. If she really rejected her fated mate to serve the greater good, I’d hate myself for forcing her into a position after she worked so hard to become my Beta.”
“Do you know anyone that you could trust to be your Luna beside Raina?” Sebastian gave him a knowing look. He had told him long before that the only two people he trusted with his life and pack was his Betas.
He shook his head. “No.”
“Exactly.”