Chapter 72 The King’s promise

Chapter 72 The King’s promise
"Cardan..." 

"Not until you tell me we're going to be all right."

I sighed. "I can't tell you that. Not yet. I don't know if we're going to be all right. I don't know if I can watch another woman carry your child and not feel like I'm being torn apart."

His face fell.

"But," I continued, "I'm willing to try. I didn't come back to leave again. I came back to fight. For us. For our marriage. For whatever future we can build together."

"You mean that?"

"I mean that." I pulled him to his feet. "I was hurt, Cardan. Deeply hurt. That's why I left, not to punish you, but to clear my head. To remember who I was. To spend time with my family and remind myself that I'm more than just your wife. en years of waiting and silence. I can survive this too."

He cupped my face in his hands. "You are the most wonderful woman I know."

"Oh I know."

He laughed, a startled, watery sound. "I missed you. Every moment. Every hour. The bed was so cold without you."

"That bed is always cold. You need warmer blankets."

"I don't need blankets. I need you." He pressed his forehead to mine. "I love you, Nyx. These past few days without you, has led me to believe that. I hope you believe it too."

"I believe it." I closed my eyes and let myself lean into him. "I love you too. Even when I'm furious at you. Even when I want to throw you off the highest balcony in the palace."

"That's... a very specific image."

"I've had time to think about it."

He laughed again and pulled me into his arms. I let him hold me. I let myself be held. And for the first time in over a week, the weight on my chest began to lift.

\-—————-

Later, we walked through the gardens together.

The sun had fully set, and the stars were emerging, tiny pinpricks of light in the vast darkness above. The night-blooming flowers were opening their petals, releasing their soft fragrance into the cool air. Somewhere in the distance, a fountain burbled.

"Tell me about Hel," Cardan said. "How was your brother's coronation?"

"Terrifying. Very Hel." I smiled faintly. "There were shadows and ancient rituals and Eris looked like he wanted to be anywhere else. He's a good king already. He's been solving disputes and negotiating treaties and threatening to have you assassinated."

"He threatened to have me assassinated?"

"In his defense, he was very polite about it. He offered to make it discreet."

Cardan stared at me. "Your brother offered to have me assassinated, and you're telling me this casually?"

"I told him no. Obviously." I paused. "Unless you deserve it."

"I'm not going to deserve it."

"Then you have nothing to worry about."

He shook his head, but there was a reluctant smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Your family is so interesting."

"All the best families are." I threaded my fingers through his. "Eris also looked into the Umbral Host situation. He's going to help us close the portal in the northern mountains. It'll take time, the old laws are complicated, but he's working on it."

"That's good. That's very good." He glanced at me. "What else happened in Hel?"

I thought of the Seer's vision. The throne room in ruins. Cardan on his knees. The creature in the cradle. The Umbral Host pouring from the earth.

"Nothing important," I lied. "Family drama. Maz has a fiancée now. I like her."

"Maz is engaged?"

"Unofficially. He's building up to a formal proposal. He wants to make sure she won't throw another book at his head."

Cardan laughed. We walked in comfortable silence for a while. The stars wheeled overhead. The night-blooming flowers glowed softly in the darkness.

"Tell me about Lady Freya," I said finally. "What's happened while I was gone?"

Cardan's expression sobered. "She's been settled in the eastern wing. Her own chambers, her own servants, her own physicians. I've kept my distance, as I promised. I've seen her only twice, both times in formal settings, with multiple witnesses."

"How is she?"

"Healthy. The child is progressing normally. The physicians say she's due in seven months." He hesitated. "She's asked about you. Several times."

"What does she want?"

"To apologize, I think. To explain herself. She says she never meant for the pregnancy to be announced the way it was. She says Elowyn pressured her into it."

"She could have said no."

"She could have. But Elowyn can be very persuasive." He met my eyes. "I'm not making excuses for her. What she did was wrong. But I believe she regrets the way she went about things."

I considered this. Lady Freya had been a thorn in my side since before I arrived in Aurelia—first as Cardan's lover, then as Elowyn's pawn, now as the mother of his unborn child. But she had also, in her own way, been a victim of the same forces that had tried to destroy me. Elowyn's schemes. The court's cruelty. The impossible expectations placed on women who dared to love kings.

"Perhaps I should speak with her," I said.

"You don't have to."

"I know. But I think I should. Clear the air. Establish boundaries." I looked at him. "If she's going to be living in this palace for the next few months, we need to find a way to coexist."

"You're being remarkably calm about this."

"I've had a while to process this. And I've decided that I'm not going to let Elowyn win. She wanted to drive me away. She wanted to destroy our marriage. I'm not going to give her that satisfaction."

He kissed me, soft and sweet, under the starlight. And I let myself believe, foolishly and hopefully, that we might actually survive this.

\-———————-

The next few days were a flurry of preparation.

Cardan had mentioned, during our walk in the gardens, that the palace was hosting a grand event to celebrate the northern victory, a formal banquet and ball, with representatives from all the major houses in attendance. It would be the first major social event since Elowyn's return from Valdris, and the first since the announcement of Freya's pregnancy.

"You don't have to attend if you don't want to," Cardan had said. "After everything that's happened.." 

"I'll attend."

"Are you sure? The court will be watching. They'll be looking for any sign of weakness."

"Then I won't show them any." I had met his eyes. "I'm the Queen of Aurelia. I won't hide in my chambers while my enemies whisper behind my back.  I have nothing to be ashamed of."

So now, three days later, I stood before the mirror in my chambers while my handmaidens fussed over my gown. It was Aurelian gold, a deliberate choice. I wanted the court to see me in their colors, standing beside their king, looking every inch the queen I was.

"You look beautiful, Your Majesty," Liriel said, adjusting the train.

"Thank you. Although Aurelian colours tend to wash me out a bit." 

Thalia was putting the final touches on my hair when a knock came at the door. Sera opened it, then turned back with a carefully neutral expression.

"Princess Cressida, Lady Thornwood, requests an audience."

I stiffened. Cressida. Cardan's married sister. The one who had sat beside Elowyn at that terrible dinner. The one who had smiled as Freya announced her pregnancy.

"Tell her I'm busy."

"She says it's important. She says she has information about your mother."

I went very still.