41: Franny-1

41. Franny The months passed quickly and things went back to normal. The only difference is that I now have Tyler to spend the days with. Mid-year exams went and now people are preparing for the end of year exams. It was also time to plan my future. I get the email on Saturday morning. First, I'm ecstatic as I hide my phone away and go to tell my dad. He becomes even more excited and rambles on about the university and everything I'll now be able to do. Then my excitement fades a little and the worry slowly sets in. I don't look at the email after that. I try to smile when Dad talks about it, which seems to be almost every time we see each other. I should be happy. This is what I want. And deep down I am. But on the surface, it's hard to look forward to something that you know will start with heartbreak. *** Ethan, as usual, is being reckless. I can feel it when Tally freezes up beside me as Ethan does a flip on his bike in the air. I turn away from the cheering crowd and face Tally, nudging her shoulder. "He's fine," I say. "He knows what he's doing." "No, he doesn't," Tally grumbles. "He's a stupid idiot who wants to fly." I watch as Ethan takes off from a board and soars straight into the air before roughly coming back down, only just catching his balance. "Well he's doing a pretty good job at flying right now," I mutter and Tally sighs. "He thinks that because it's his last race that he can act like a dumbass and everything will be okay. Well, he's still got a mild concussion so if he falls off that bike and ends up in a damn coma, it's his fault." I smile a little, a laugh pushing past my lips. "So how are things with you and Ethan?" I ask. "Nowhere from where they were before," Tally smiles tightly. "He has things he wants to do, I have things I want to do. We're also not very compatible; we piss each other off most of the time." "So, nothing can come from that?" I frown and Tally shrugs. "It is what it is," she says. "Some things just aren't meant to be. Maybe one day, but not today. What's going on with you and Tyler, anyway?" I look down past the many heads in the crowd until my eyes land on Tyler, who stands with the bikers off to the side, watching his friend race. "Things are fine," I say. Tally groans and rolls her eyes. "Fine, fine, fine. Everything is always fine for you two. It's like you're waiting for the inevitable to come so you just keep appeasing everyone by saying it's fine, fine, fine." "Seriously we're f—" I stop myself and look back down at Tyler. I blink and look away. Red. I see red when I see Tyler. And when I see red all I can do is remember everything that happened. I know something similar is happening with Tyler. He can't quite look me in the eyes. Neither of us can. Something has shifted in our relationship. Something that isn't easily repairable. We aren't fine, I realize. We really aren't fine. 'I love you' means nothing if you're not in the right state to prove it. "I . . . I don't know," I breathe. "I don't know what's happening with us." Tally's frown deepens. "What's Tyler doing after he graduates?" I shrug because I simply don't know. We haven't talked about it and I realize as I stand there that we should have. Ethan and Tally have, everyone else has. So why haven't we? Why are we prolonging the inevitable? "Does he know you got into UCLA?" Tally asks. My throat closes up and I shake my head. "Why haven't you told him yet?" she asks. "Because I don't know what to say," I answer and the crowd roars with a cheer, effectively and conveniently ending our conversation. I smile and clap as Ethan's bike comes to a stop and he is surrounded by people within an instant. Tally doesn't continue where we left off as we walk down the stairs to get to the arena floor. We hop over the fence with the help of Ethan and Tyler, and land on the ground. We congratulate Ethan on the win and 'retirement,' but he's swept off into a conversation with Tally behind him seconds later. That leaves me with Tyler. "We need to talk," I say suddenly, realizing how harsh it sounds. "It's nothing bad we just . . . we need to talk." Tyler nods and takes my hand, pulling me out of the stadium and towards the truck. *** We park the truck in the middle of a public field and lie down in the cargo bed, with our legs dangling over the edge. There is a chill in the air, but I ignore it apart from the occasional shiver or rough breeze. "What did you want to talk about?" Tyler asks, arms behind his head. "Where are you going after graduation?" I ask. Tyler shrugs. "I'm not too sure anymore. My plans have kind of been thrown all over the place." "What were your plans before?" "Football. It was a long shot, but I thought maybe I could re-join the team. But I was too late, so I don't know what I'm supposed to do now." I frown. "Stay another year and join the team next season. Or join the football club in the city. Ask the coach if he'd be willing to train you. There are so many things you can do, Ty." Tyler thinks for a moment. "I didn't think about doing that." I scoff. "You missed one season. You had a rough patch. That doesn't mean everything is flushed down the toilet and doesn't matter anymore. Prove that you care enough and you can get whatever you want." Tyler smiles softly. "There's a reason you're the smart one in this relationship."