Chapter 44 - Healing the Broken Alpha

Lenora

He left. He took a shower, pulled on fresh clothes, and left me lying there on the couch, still naked and raw. My body ached from the rough sex, but more so, my heart felt bruised. I pulled myself off the couch and staggered over to the side table, and used the remote to lock the door.

I locked my husband out of his own room, but I didn’t feel any remorse. I felt emotionally numb, like I couldn’t think beyond the pain in my body. I stumbled to the bathroom, and twisted on the shower, setting it as hot as the tap would go. I stepped under the spray and turned my back to the water, letting the heat soak into my sore muscles, while I braced my arms against the wall.

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I finally forced my mind to focus on the fact that I might be pregnant.

It was unusual for an unmarked wolf to become pregnant. It was even more rare for a werewolf to intermix with a human. I’d heard of a few male werewolves who had taken on human mates, but I couldn’t think of a single case where a female werewolf had taken on a human, and then bore his child. It must have happened though, somewhere, sometime. I couldn’t possibly be the first.

I wanted to be happy, but instead, I felt a shiver of apprehension.

River had gone through with the Luna ceremony, not because he intended to make me his real luna, but because he wanted to put on a show and attract the attention of his would-be assassin. He had married me, but I was only his wife when it was convenient and it served his purpose. He made love to me, but he wasn’t IN love with me. I was a pawn in the game he was playing. He was only using me as it suited him, and I had quietly and meekly gone along with all of it.

Out of fear, at first.

Maybe, out of love.

I felt, deep down, that River would not be pleased to know he’d put a child in me. At least not now. Maybe, later, whenhe stress and anxiety of his own attempted murder were finally laid to rest, and the person was found, maybe then I could tell him. Until then…

Well, I wasn’t even sure. Maybe it was nothing, maybe stress was messing with my cycle. Maybe my sore breasts really were just impending PMS. Unfortunately it wasn’t as simple as going out to the local pharmacy to buy a test. Blackstone was isolated, and I hardly ever set foot out of the packhouse fortress without River or his father by my side.

I turned, adjusted the temperature down a few degrees so I wouldn’t scald myself, and leaned my head against the tiles.

Not for the first time, I wished my mother were alive. I wished I had another woman to turn to, to confide in, to seek advice from. Unfortunately, there didn’t seem to be a single friendly female in this house. The former luna hated me. Most of the staff seemed hostile too. The only kind hearted, motherly woman I had met so far was River’s aunt.

I took a cloth and began to wash my skin. I winced when I ran over tender places. Would I have bruises later.

River had never been rough with me like that. I’m not going to lie, I had wanted it, and in the moment, I had thoroughly enjoyed it. I had practically begged for it. It was…exciting. But at the end, when he had so coldly pulled out of me and walked away, it had hurt. It made me feel used and discarded. It made me feel like a prostitute.

I scrubbed between my legs and along my inner thighs, but I still felt like I was somehow soiled. When my tender skin couldn’t take any more abuse I slowly and carefully washed and conditioned my hair, and then I stood under the spray until the water slowly grew cold.

How could a place this big have such a small hot water tank? I finally twisted off the tap and stepped out. The air was thick with steam. I wrapped myself up in towels and went to the closet to get clean clothes. By the time I emerged, someone was knocking at the door. But it wasn’t River.

It wasn’t Remy either.

I plaited my damp hair and threw the long braid over my shoulder as I approached the door, feeling some sense of trepidation as I approached it. I undid the lock manually and pulled open the door.

Asher stood there, one arm braced against the door jamb. His collared shirt was half unbuttoned, and he smelled of sweat and musk. His face was leaner than River’s more angular, his eyes set closer together, with a certain meanness that River’s didn’t possess. Even when River was ignoring me, he did it with cold detachment, not hostility. His blond hair was flopping on either side of his pale forehead, and his lashes were half lowered over lecherous eyes.

I followed his stare and realized my wet hair had soaked the white t-shirt that I was wearing, and my dark nipples were clearly visible through the semi-transparent fabric. I quickly folded my arms over my breasts and glared at him, something I wouldn’t have dared to do a few weeks ago. “What do you want?”

Bad choice of words. He took a threatening step forward. “I think that should be obvious by now.”

I wanted to retreat, but I planted my feet and held my ground. “I think it should be obvious by now that I am not interested.”

He breathed in deeply, and licked his lips. “What is it about you?” his eyes raked over my body again, and I could feel him undressing me, inch by inch. “I can’t stop thinking about you. Thinking about all the things I want to do to you.”

He reached out a hand like he was going to touch my face, and I slapped it away. “Don’t touch me!”

“Or what? Who is going to stop me? River’s not here. He and Dad left twenty minutes ago. Oh, you didn’t know?” A sly, evil grin stretched across his face. “There’s no one here to save you, Lenora.”

No one but myself.