Chapter 21 Chapter 21

Chapter 21 Chapter 21
Chapter 21
I woke with a start, my chest tight and Caden’s stolen essence churning like acid beneath my ribs. The crystals overhead glowed their usual soft silver, but the echo of last night’s tremors still lingered in the stone beneath my bed. I pressed a hand to my sternum and tried to breathe through the restless whispers. Caden’s voice was louder this morning, mocking me with flashes of his cruel smile and the moment I had ripped his wolf from him. Guilt twisted sharper than any physical pain.
Morgana was already waiting in the training chamber when I arrived, her posture straight and her expression calm but focused. She handed me a cup of the shimmering water without a word. I drank it quickly, feeling the cool energy settle in my stomach.
“Today we address the biggest obstacle still holding you back,” she said, leading me to the center of the rune-etched floor. “Caden’s essence. You are carrying it like a wound you refuse to close. That is why it whispers so loudly.”
I nodded, sweat already forming on my palms. “It feels like he is still inside me, fighting to take control. Every time I use my power, I feel him pushing.”
Morgana circled me slowly, her silver eyes studying my face. “That is not Caden fighting you, Nova. That is your own guilt refusing to let go. You keep him with you because part of you believes you deserve the punishment. You think stealing his essence makes you a monster, so you clutch the proof of it close. Let it go. It does not belong to you.”
Her words hit deep. I had told myself the same thing in quieter moments, but hearing it from her, from someone who understood this power, made it feel real. “How? I do not know how to release it without… hurting someone else.”
“You do not release it outward,” she explained, stopping in front of me. “You set it aside inside yourself. Build a wall. Not with force, but with acceptance. Accept that what happened with Caden was survival. Then stop feeding it attention. Guilt is what gives it strength. Starve it.”
She placed her cool hands on my shoulders and guided my breathing. “Close your eyes. Feel where he sits in your chest. Now imagine pushing him into a sealed chamber, far from your thoughts. Do not fight him. Simply stop listening. He is not you. He is a remnant, nothing more.”
I tried. At first Caden’s essence surged, flooding me with memories of Silverfang, of his hands grabbing me, of my terror. My scar burned. I gasped and nearly pulled away, but Morgana held me steady.
“Guilt,” she reminded me firmly. “That is all it is. Your mind punishing itself. You were an outcast they abused for years. When he attacked you, you defended yourself. Do not carry his weakness as your crime. Push him back.”
I focused on her voice and kept breathing. Slowly, painfully, I imagined a heavy silver door closing around the burning presence. The whispers grew muffled. The churning eased. Not gone, but quieter. Distant. I opened my eyes, surprised at how much lighter I felt.
“Better,” Morgana said with a small smile. “Again. This time while moving.”
We spent the next several hours on nothing but this. She had me walk the circles of the training floor while maintaining the mental wall. Then run. Then practice basic healing on small targets while keeping Caden locked away. Every time the essence tried to surge, she corrected me immediately.
“Do not engage with the guilt,” she repeated each time. “Acknowledge it, then ignore it. Your power is yours. His essence is just leftover noise. The more you dwell on what you did, the more control you give it.”
I stumbled at one point, sweat dripping into my eyes, but I caught myself and rebuilt the wall faster than before. The difference was noticeable. My healing flowed smoother, without that dark edge threatening to tip into consumption. I mended a deep crack in the floor without any backlash pain. For the first time, using my gift felt almost natural.
During a short water break, Morgana spoke again. “Your mother carried a similar burden early on. She learned to set aside the weight of every life she touched. You must do the same. Guilt will cripple you faster than any enemy. Especially now, with war brewing outside these walls.”
The reminder of the war made the mate bond flare painfully. I clutched my chest. “Alaric. I can feel him stronger today. He is fighting. Graham’s wolves are pressing hard, aren’t they?”
Morgana nodded once. “From what little the sanctum reveals, Nightcrest holds its borders but at a cost. Your mate is strong, but his focus is split between defending his pack and searching for you. That is why you must master this quickly. When you return, you return as a weapon and a healer, not a liability.”
Her words stung, but they also lit a fire under me. I did not want to be the reason Nightcrest fell. I finished the water and stepped back into position. “Then let us continue.”
The rest of the day blurred into intense drills. Morgana had me maintain the mental wall against Caden while weaving moonlight shields and healing moving targets at the same time. My muscles burned. My mind grew tired from the constant effort of ignoring the essence, but I pushed through. Each small victory stacked on the last. By late afternoon I could hold the wall steady even while creating a full shield dome around myself.
“You are progressing well,” Morgana said as we ended the session. She looked almost pleased. “Tomorrow we will combine everything with more advanced flows. Rest now. The sanctum will help restore you.”
I walked back to my sleeping chamber on shaky legs, but my spirit felt steadier than it had since I first ran from Silverfang. Caden’s voice was still there, but faint, like someone shouting from behind thick walls. I could ignore it. Morgana was right. Much of the power it held over me came from my own guilt.
Lying on the bed later, I reached through the mate bond again, pouring everything I had into the connection. Alaric, I am getting stronger. I am learning to control this. Hold on for me. I will come back soon.
A faint but fierce wave of determination came back, mixed with exhaustion and worry. He was out there fighting for me while I trained in safety. The guilt tried to rise again, but I pushed it down the same way I pushed Caden’s essence. Acknowledged, then ignored.
Another tremor rocked the sanctum that night, stronger than the ones before. Dust fell from the ceiling. I sat up, heart racing. The crystals pulsed faster, almost like a warning.
Morgana appeared at my door shortly after. “The barriers are holding, but Silverfang grows bolder. Sleep. We train at first light.”
I lay back down, staring at the glowing veins above me. Training was working. I was getting stronger. But every tremor reminded me that time was running out. Wolves were bleeding and dying because of me, and I was still hidden away in this glowing Sactuary.
I closed my eyes and focused on the mental wall. Caden’s whispers tried to rise again, feeding on my worry. I ignored them.
Tomorrow I would train harder.